“Stage 1.5 Knickers”

I’m taking a bit of a step back in time for this post as I wasn’t quick enough to type it up at the time and have been a bit lazy in regards to my blog posts. So this post is about my most recent trip back down south in February this year. I want to continue to write these posts because I’ve found them quite useful when remembering events from years ago to quickly look through a post and confirm in my memory what happened. Plus, i figure why not.

 

So, on the 14th of February, Lesley picked Kieran and I up and took us to the airport. This time our special assistance was good and the flight was on time.  When we landed, Dad and Michelle met us in arrivals. We decided to pop in and see Nan. While we were there, I gave Nan her pillow made out of Grandad’s clothes, which predictably made her a bit teary. After she’d put together a bundle of his clothes in December, I’d sent them off to a small business who make handmade items out of loved ones clothing. I got a special blanket made for myself using lots of different pieces of his clothes plus the fluffy fleece blanket I’d bought for his last birthday, which was on his bed. The blanket turned out perfect, more like a patchwork quilt than just a blanket. When Nan saw it over FaceTime, she was able to recognise every single patch. Since then, Dad has also said he’d like a cushion made, which I’m going to get sorted very soon. After big hugs all round and saying we’d see Nan soon, Dad drove us down to Mum’s, where she had and chili out of the slow cooker and cheesy nachos waiting for us.

 

On Thursday, Mum made pancakes for lunch as it’d been pancake day on Tuesday. Pancakes are a proper treat for me because I wouldn’t attempt making them myself and don’t like eating them when I’m out. Mum’s were lovely. Afterwards, Harley and I went into town to do Mother’s Day and early birthday shopping for our May birthday relatives: Mum, Dad and Imi. Later on, Mum, Simon and Kieran met us in town so Kieran and I could spend the voucher Kieran had bought for my birthday the year before at Zizi’s. I had aranccini, mushroom risotto and a honeycomb cheesecake. Kieran had calamari, sausage lasagne and trillionaires fudge cake. We both very much enjoyed the food. I was especially happy to have arancini again. It was made even nicer because the staff were so helpful, even guiding Kieran to the loo. Meanwhile, Mum, Simon and Harley decided to have Pizza Hut, where they shared a two pizzas, two sides and two desserts deal. They all said it was very nice and were very full. I was glad that they’d enjoyed theirs but even more that Kieran and I had finally been able to spend my voucher and have a date night. These days, if we have a date night it’s usually a takeaway in front of the telly, which is still nice but not as good as physically going to a restaurant.

 

The next day, Dad picked us up around half past 3 and took us to Nan’s where Nan, Auntie Clare, Sam and Michelle were. At just after 5, Auntie Clare rang through our order to the fish and chips shop: large battered sausage for Michelle; fish for Kieran, Auntie Clare herself and Nan; an egg and bacon burger for Dad; a chicken burger for Harley; a cheese burger for Sam; two pineapple fritters for me; two large chips and two curry sauces to share. Auntie Clare and I collected the food and everyone seemed to enjoy what they had. After Auntie Clare and Teddy went home. we watched West Brom vs Saints, which ended in a 2-0 win for Saints.

The next day, it was Mum’s time to be in the spotlight as we took her wedding dress shopping. In the morning, Simon drove Mum, Harley and I into town before going to pick up his youngest to join us. Then, the four of us met up with Mum’s maid of honour and headed for the bridal shop. Kieran had already decided to spend the day listening to as many football matches as he could. In the end, the dress Mum chose as the one was the fifth one she tried on. Thankfully, she loved the whole experience of trying on different styles of dress and showing them off to us. Mum can be funny about what she wears and has always been self-conscious, even more so since cancer has changed her body. But she was really confident and pleased with how she looked. Afterwards, we went to TGI Fridays to celebrate the success. Mum and her maid of honour shared nachos, potato skins and cocktails; Simon’s youngest enjoyed chicken tenders and fries; Harley had Jack Daniels chicken strips and potato skins; I had Jack Daniels chicken strips, fries and mozzarella dippers. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed the treat. I felt a bit guilty that Kieran wasn’t there because I know he likes TGIs a lot too. However, when we got home he seemed to have had a good enough day listening to lots of football as he’d planned. As well as that, in the evening he and Simon ordered curry and we watched Pointless Celebrities, Casualty and the Jonathan Ross show.

 

The following afternoon, Kieran and I caught the bus into town and went to The Giddy Bridge Wetherspoons with Sam. She chose a burger and chips, Kieran had sausage and mash and I went for a bbq chicken and bacon panini with chips and a side of haloumi fries. We stayed in the pub for a few hours, having more drinks and a cookie dough sandwich pudding for me. Later on, we went to The Mayflower Theatre to see Romesh Rangernathan perform his Hussle tour. Romesh was very funny and it was quite a different atmosphere to our usual stand up shows because he was supported by DJ Martin Too Smooth who played at the start and during the interval.  They were both very good. Some potential quotes for blog post titles included “I’ll bag you off” and “I’m cooking mushrooms”.

 

On Monday, Dad picked us up around half 12, after picking Nan up on his way, and we went to The Malvern green king pub. It’s only a short walk from their flat so Sam and Michelle were waiting when we arrived. For dinner, I had scampi, chips and mushy peas with a side of haloumi fries; Harley had lasagne with garlic bread; Nan had macaroni cheese; Dad had a big brunch; Michelle had a steak and cheese ciabatta; Sam had a chicken and bacon ciabatta. Sadly, the food wasn’t very nice and most of us came away a bit disappointed. Afterwards, we spent the rest of the day at Dad’s, chatting, with Sam’s music playlist in the background, which provided many conversation topics. A possible blog title quote came when Dad quite casually asked “does anyone want my nuts?” which, because we’re all very childish, we found funny. Later on, back at Mum’s, we watched some Catch Phrase and Limitless Win before putting on the film Whitney: I Want To Dance With Somebody.

 

The next day, we went into town around 9:30 and had a McDonalds breakfast: breakfast wraps for Kieran and I, McMuffins for Mum and Harley. Afterwards, we went into a few shops. Back at Mum’s, we spent the afternoon and evening watching quiz shows including Lingo, Catch Phrase, Tipping Point, The Chase, Bridge Of Lies, Beat The Chasers and Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Mum is very good at quiz shows. For dinner, Mum cooked roast gammon, which was very tasty.

 

As always, the final day of our visit had come around too fast. We spent the daytime watching Judge Judy, Come Dine With Me, Lingo and Pointless. Mum cooked us belly pork with cheesy mash and carrots so that we’d had a proper meal before our flight. Around 3:30, I started to see news on Facebook that there had been a big crash on the motorway that was causing a lot of disruption and delays. For a while, we didn’t think much of it, thinking it’d be cleared by the time Dad picked us up around 6:15. But as time went on the news reports only seemed to get worse. Dad and Michelle headed out anyway, hoping they’d be able to make it through to get us so we could all head for the airport as planned. Sam was flying up with us to stay for a few nights so we could all go and see Sarah Millican live that weekend. But the time kept dragging on and we received more panicked messages from Sam. Eventually, I called Auntie Clare and asked if Uncle Dave was available to try and get us to the airport, the idea being that Dad and Michelle met us there with Sam rather than trying to get all the way to pick us up. Thankfully, Uncle Dave was available and set off straight away to get us. Although we didn’t think we were going to make the flight, we knew we had to try. Kieran checked us in online and I emptied the essentials out of our suitcase into our hand luggage. We’d already agreed we’d leave the suitcase behind because there was no way we were going to be there by the cut off point of baggage being checked in. As soon as Uncle Dave arrived, we rushed to get in his car, not really having time to say goodbye to Mum and Harley. To be honest, we were all expecting to see each other again that night. Uncle Dave drove as fast as the heavy and at times stand-still traffic would allow. We kept checking Google Maps ETA and willing the cars to somehow go faster. At the same time, I could see Dad just wasn’t moving. We had a rather big decision to make. Of course, the plan was for the three of us to travel to Newcastle that night. But as we approached the airport, it was clear Sam was nowhere near being close to joining us. Uncle Dave dashed us into the terminal building and up to the check in desk. Kieran rushed to explain what was happening and before we’d really had time to thank Uncle Dave, we were being hurried away. Somehow, we got through security in super quick time and although we’d held it up, we were boarding the plane, in our seats, taking off! When I think back to that evening, even now I don’t know how we made that flight. But the biggest thing was that we’d gone without Sam. We both felt very conflicted about it. Of course, never did we want to leave without her and it was a really awkward situation to be in. But we needed to go home. I was scheduled to work the following day and didn’t have my manager’s contact details on me to tell her what was happening. Even more importantly, I didn’t have any more Epilepsy medication. As we flew away, we felt absolutely awful for Sam and guilty that we’d left without her. Friendship and loyalty should have meant if one didn’t make the plane none of us should have gone. But reality doesn’t work like that. If we had the chance, however tight it was in the end, to be on that plane and flying home as planned then we had to take it. Sam was understandably very upset and angry with us, which I totally expected. But ultimately there was nothing we could have done about the situation and in the grand scheme of things our situation was nothing to that of the man who lost his life in that crash or the ripple effects for his friends and family.

 

Although the end of our trip had been pretty horrific, the visit overall was great and it was lovely to spend time with everyone as always. Plus, it all worked out in the end for us. Unfortunately, this meant Sam spent the Thursday on a train rather than already being with us as per the original plan. But she arrived with us around 5 o’clock and Kieran cooked meatballs with pasta and garlic bread and mac n cheese bites on the side for dinner. We spent the evening watching Kevin Bridges new DVD The Overdue Catch Up. This provoked some rather rude quote suggestions of blog post titles from Sam and Kieran, such as “your dog’s a c**t” or “remember the night we googled cats dicks”.

 

After I’d finished work early on Friday, we caught the bus into Newcastle and went to The Five Swans Wetherspoons. After being badgered by Kieran and I to try something different, Sam went for the chicken bites basket, which she said she enjoyed. Kieran had a mixed grill and I had fish and chips with a cookie dough sandwich for dessert. Later, we went to the O2 City Hall and watched Sarah Millican perform her Late Bloomer show. She was very funny and definitely one of my favourites we’ve seen live. One of the best parts was when she had a lady, who was sat in the front row with us, removed because she had talked through the first 20 minutes of the show. The cheer after she did it was quite something. There were so many quotes from the show that I could have chosen for this post’s title but I settled on “stage 1.5 knickers” because it made us laugh a lot and was one of the tamer options. Sarah’s comedy has definitely become more filthy over the years. Other offerings included: “snap flaps”, “your pubes are the bouncers to your fanny” and “if your fanny was clean and tidy it would be on your forehead”.

 

The next morning, Kieran cooked sausage, bacon and hash browns for breakfast. We spent the day watching football: Eastleigh vs Bromley 2-0; Arsenal vs Newcastle 4-1. Later, we watched Sean Lock’s DVD Lockipedia while enjoying a Dominoes takeaway.

 

We walked to Sambuca’s for lunch on Sunday. Sam had potato skins, roast chicken and ice cream; Kieran chose mushroom soup, roast lamb and ice cream; I had cheesy garlic bread with chicken and mushroom risotto. As always, we all thoroughly enjoyed the food. Back at the flat, we listened to Liverpool vs Chelsea in the Carabao cup final; Liverpool won 1-0 in the 118th minute.

 

Since Sam’s stay in February, the three of us plus Harley spent the first weekend of this month in London so that we could see Michael MacIntyre live at the O2. Apart from Harley really not liking the height of our seats, it was a great show and a really lovely weekend overall. We enjoyed a lot of nice food, including yet another Wetherspoons at the O2, a meal at Pizza Express and a Premier Inn buffet breakfast. We spent the Saturday at Westfields and laughed at the fact that the only shopping we did was in Primark. We even had 100% success transport-wise, using the trains to their full advantage. So the last few months have been packed full of comedy shows, nice food and good times with family. I already have 5 more trips home scheduled and so many comedy shows I’ve lost count. I’m very lucky that I’m able to spend so much time with everyone and go to so many good shows. Next up, a concert at the Royal Albert Hall with Mum to see Train for the second time.

“It’s whatsit time” … “leave my bowl alone!”

At the end of December last year, it was time for another trip down south, this time so that Kieran and I could spend Christmas with my side of the family. Last year, we spent Christmas with his side before I flew down to spend new year with mine. Rotating between the two seems like the best solution so that we both spend Christmas with both families.

 

So on 20^th December, John and Lesley took Kieran and I to the airport, where we waited quite a while for assistance to collect us and escort us through security onto the plane. It was soon clear why. There were several passengers requiring special assistance and they didn’t have enough staff to deal with all of us. Eventually, we were onboard, after a delay due to a fault with the plane. Originally, I thought I heard someone saying it was something to do with the engine, which wasn’t very reassuring. But at the end of the flight, while we waited for Southampton assistance staff to come and get us, Kieran overheard the flight crew saying that it had been an issue with the oxygen masks. Obviously, they’d made sure everything was working correctly before we flew. But they mentioned that there was a point where they were considering abandoning the flight for the evening. I was very grateful they hadn’t, although of course I wouldn’t want to travel if it wasn’t safe.

 

Southampton were quite slow in assisting us, too. As the flight had landed later than scheduled, they were assisting another plane when we landed. Then, they didn’t have that many staff to help such a high number of assistance passengers. This really showed when the man helping us was guiding Kieran and I whilst pushing another passenger in their wheelchair. This was complicated further by the two suitcases Kieran and I collected, which we wheeled through to arrivals ourselves. Thankfully, Dad, Sam and Harley were waiting in arrivals so there were enough people to guide and pull cases. Even better, when we arrived at Mum’s, she had chicken stew straight out of the slow cooker for our dinner. It was very nice and definitely much needed after the craziness of the journey.

 

The following morning, Mum and I took a trip on the bus into town to finish the last-minute bits of Christmas shopping I needed to do. We took Greggs home for lunch: sausage rolls for Mum and I, a festive bake for Kieran and a chicken bake for Harley. That evening, we watched Notting Hill  while eating Papa Johns pizza which Kieran had ordered for everyone. Mum and Harley had recommended it as they’d really enjoyed it recently so we decided to go for it as it’d been ages since Kieran and I had tried it. It was very nice, especially the garlic bread.

 

Friday was a quiet day at Mum’s. In the morning, Jenny popped over so we could exchange Christmas gifts. Usually, she’d pop in for a coffee and a catch up but she’d caught a bit of a cold and didn’t want to pass it on. Hopefully, we’ll be able to catch up properly next time I’m down. That night, Mum cooked a big picky bits dinner for everyone which included mini duck spring rolls, TGI Fridays Jack Daniels sesame chicken strips, mozzarella sticks, jalapeno bites, mini kiev balls, chicken skewers, cheese and pineapple sticks, potato salad, coleslaw and other bits. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed it and it went down very nicely while we watched the festive movies Elf and Love Actually. Before I moved away, it used to be our Christmas Eve tradition to have a picky bits dinner after Mum had come home from work and watch Christmas films, although back then it used to be Polar Express and Love Actually. But everyone except me voted for Elf instead of Polar Express this year. We weren’t able to do the tradition on Christmas Eve itself because we were spending the day at Dad’s as an extra Christmas day with him. As it was Simon’s first night off and we were also all busy the following day, Friday night seemed the perfect night for it. It certainly made it feel much more like Christmas.

 

At half past 12 on Saturday, the three of us met Nan in Woolston and went for lunch at Subway. Since Grandad passed away in November, Nan has been trying to get out and about and spend as much time with people as possible. Although she says she’s fine, she’s also admitted it is very lonely in their bungalow by herself. When Grandad first passed away, Nan immediately leapt into productive mode, getting everything organised and sorted out. I think it took until after his funeral for her to really start coming to terms with the fact that he was really gone. I think keeping herself busy had been her way of coping to begin with but she had to face it at some point. 60 years is a long time to spend loving one person and they’d been so happy for so long. Even in his last year after his stroke, Nan was by his side through everything, looking after him the best she was able to. She did an amazing job, even though she’s honest and admits it was hard. But even though he was poorly, he was still there, still company for her even if conversation wasn’t really possible. I think adjusting to being by herself in the bungalow has been the toughest thing for Nan since losing him. She says the hardest part is when she’s spent all day having a nice time with people but then has to return to the empty bungalow by herself. That’s why I wanted to make sure we spent the extra time with her. I hate the thought of her being lonely and want to make sure I make the effort to spend as much time with her as possible. I always used to make sure I saw her and Grandad as much as I could before but I think it’s even more important now she’s on her own.

 

We had a nice lunch in Subway and just sat chatting for a while before it was time to catch the bus to Nan’s house. It feels very strange being in the bungalow without Grandad there. Although he spent the last 10 months in his bed in one room, it almost feels like he’s going to wander down the hallway and say hello at any moment. Of course, that will never happen. Thankfully, Auntie Clare joined us with Teddy, filling up the emptiness a little bit more. Teddy certainly kept the spirits up with his mad dashing around. Auntie Clare helped Nan hang some of her Christmas cards up on the strings pinned to the wall the way Grandad always used to before his stroke. Again, it was another reminder that he wasn’t there to do it anymore but at the same time it brought back fond memories of all the years he had. In 2022, Nan hadn’t had the strings up at all because Grandad had been too wobbly on his feet to do it and definitely couldn’t have after the stroke. Thankfully, Nan had spent that Christmas staying at Dad’s so hadn’t been alone and was closer to the hospital to see Grandad.

 

Later on, Dad and Michelle popped in to collect their Christmas meats which they’d been storing in Nan’s freezer. Also, Michelle presented Nan with the memory book she and Harley had made for Nan with loads of photos of Grandad. I think Nan was a bit overwhelmed but it was a really thoughtful gesture and Michelle had made it really beautiful, with funny little comments captioning the photos and little craft decorations filling the blank space. I know when Nan feels ready she’ll treasure it. There’s some blank pages left at the back so hopefully she’ll choose some of her own favourite photos of Grandad’s life to add. Nan had also put together a bag of his clothes for me because I want to get a patchwork memory blanket made so that I have something to properly remember him with. The bag includes Southampton FC shirts, some polo shirts and jumpers as well as a pair of Grandad’s trademark grey trousers and a “best Grandad” hankie I’d bought him a few years earlier. I’m hoping the blanket will be very special and something I can have near me when I’m missing him most.

 

After the Liverpool vs Arsenal game ended in a 1-1 draw and Dad and Michelle had left, we ordered a Chinese takeaway for everyone to share. We watched some of Paddington and Gavin & Stacey while we ate. The food was very Nice and even Teddy cheekily enjoyed the chicken out of a chicken ball.

 

The next day was Christmas Eve and our first Christmas day really, spent with Dad, Michelle, Nan and Sam. Michelle was working Christmas Day night so didn’t feel like cooking a full Christmas dinner that day. As well as this, Nan was spending Christmas Day with Auntie Clare and we’d be with Mum. So Christmas Eve was the perfect opportunity to get everyone together to celebrate. Before that, though, Dad picked Nan then the three of us up and we went to Lidl to pick some flowers. Then, we headed to the crematorium to wish Grandad a merry Christmas. There were loads of flowers people had bought for loved ones and strangely it felt very festive adding ours. We walked to where they’d scattered Grandad’s ashes, near the plaques Nan and her brother had paid to have put up for Nanny Olive, Grandad Ken, Auntie Gwen and Uncle Harry. At some point we’re going to get one added for Grandad as well as possibly having a bench put down Weston shore in his memory. That was one of his favourite places and where him and Nan had spent a lot of their time when they were first together; some of his ashes are also scattered there. It felt good that we’d wished Grandad a merry Christmas, like we were including him in our festive celebrations for the day.

 

When we got to Dad’s, we all found somewhere to sit before exchanging presents. As usual, everyone got very spoilt. Sam had made a festive playlist which helped the festive atmosphere. Later, we very much enjoyed Michelle’s roast dinner and it was lovely to just sit and relax, all of us talking about all sorts. We all giggled about how Dad had been wearing his Grinch pyjamas all day, even when he’d picked us up and we’d gone to the crematorium. We all agreed Grandad would have thought it was very funny.

 

On Christmas morning, we got up around 8 and went downstairs to open presents from Mum. As always, she’d bought far too much. But we’d been able to do the same for her. A little later, Simon’s daughters arrived to open theirs. During the day, we watched Sing 2, the king’s Christmas broadcast and Toy Story 4. We enjoyed our second very tasty Christmas dinner around 4. In the evening, we watched Christmas specials of The Hit List, Masked Singer and The Wheel whilst enjoying Christmas chocolates and goodies from the big selection Mum had bought. Just like the day before, it had been a lovely day celebrating Christmas.

 

Boxing Day was a very relaxed day, except for Kieran’s fury at Newcastle losing to Nottingham Forest. I think Mum was a bit surprised about how much he shouted at the commentary. In the afternoon, while Beauty And The Beast (2017) was on, Mum gave us cold turkey, pork and gammon  with sausage meat, pigs in blankets, pickles beetroot and mash potato. It was very nice. I listened to Burnley vs Liverpool, which finished 2-0 to Liverpool, while Mum and Simon dozed watching The Lion King (2019) and Harley set up their new IPad. We had jelly and whip as a late pudding. Afterwards, Harley and I did face masks, which were among our presents from Mum and a lot of fun as Harley’s didn’t fit properly and mine made my face look silly.

 

The next morning, Mum and I went into town so I could buy the new Pandora bracelet I wanted as well as exchange a few items. Once we were home, Uncle Dave came to collect the four of us. We were extending the celebrations with him, Auntie Clare, Adam, Nan, Dad and Michelle at Auntie Clare and Uncle Dave’s. Originally, we’d thought Sam couldn’t come because she was working but she’d realised she finished around the time Dad and Michelle were planning to join us so they picked her up on their way. Again, we received some lovely gifts from Auntie Clare and Nan. Auntie Clare had made a spread including cold meats, garlic bread, crisps and puddings for us to enjoy. The funniest part was the addition of roast potatoes, although we all agreed it was a very good idea. The chocolate fudge cake made by Uncle Dave’s sister was delicious, too, but I felt like I might go into some kind of sugar coma afterwards, it was so sweet. Later on, Uncle Dave got their karaoke machine out and Nan, Auntie Clare, Uncle Dave, Dad and Harley thoroughly enjoyed singing along using the microphones. In between each song, Auntie Clare kept eating whatsits, which is where the first half of this blog title comes from. She kept announcing “it’s whatsit time”. The second half comes from Adam, who kept exclaiming “leave my bowl alone!” when Auntie Clare questioned whose it was and whether she could tidy it up. He explained how she’d kept doing this since he’d been home from uni. The funniest time he shouted this was from the downstairs loo when he somehow heard Auntie Clare mentioning the bowl he’d been using.

 

The last day of our visit had arrived. In the afternoon, we went for a meal with Simon’s family at Casa Brasil, where they serve your meats and side dishes at the table. There was some lovely food and I especially liked the cinnamon pineapple. Kieran and I agreed that although it was nice it’s probably not somewhere we’d return to as the menu is always the same so we’ve tried everything they have. Sadly, at just gone 6 Dad arrived to take us to the airport for our flight home. It’s always sad saying goodbye to everyone but we’d had such a nice time it didn’t seem quite as hard somehow. Our next visit is In February so not so far away. By then, Mum will be halfway through her course of chemotherapy and fingers crossed won’t be suffering too much with the side effects. As I write this, we’re already a week into 2024 and there’s a lot to look forward to this year. Hopefully, the chemo will be Mum’s last treatment for cancer and she’ll be able to start properly living her life again, including getting married at the end of June. If they’re lucky, hopefully Harley will find their first job and get their working life started. If I’m lucky, maybe that long awaited Guide Dog match will arrive. More than anything, I hope this year is a good one for everyone I care about. We had a really great time in Southampton spending Christmas with everyone. I’m so glad I managed to split my time quite well between everyone and especially that, despite everything, Nan seemed to enjoy Christmas. She was a little quiet at times but that’s understandable. It did feel sad without Grandad there. He used to sit in a corner and observe, joining in with comments in conversations when he felt he had something to contribute. It was his presence that was missing most, just having him there. But I’m sure he’d be glad Nan seemed to enjoy herself and is doing her best to make each day positive. Hopefully, as she adjusts to living without him this year, she’ll be able to continue enjoying herself and making the most of her time with her family. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone in February and finding out what this year brings for us all. Please, world, make it a good year.

“This is so wholesome”: Sam’s stay

After another great visit to Southampton to celebrate my birthday and see everyone again, it was time to fly back to Newcastle. This time, we had an extra passenger joining us. Sam was coming to visit for a week so she could spend time with us and also come to the Gary Delaney stand up show we’d booked for the following Saturday. Our flight back to Newcastle was smooth. I found it funny that Sam sat for the entire flight looking at the scenery and taking in the plane atmosphere. In contrast, I sat with my earphones firmly in, ignoring everyone and everything, except when Kieran nudged me to say the air hostess was coming by with the complimentary snack and drink. Again, Sam made me giggle when she later admitted she’d declined the offering because she thought she had to pay. Of course, I accepted immediately; I never say no to that shortbread. Lesley and John were waiting for us in arrivals. Once we were home, we had a quick drink each before going straight to bed.

 

On Tuesday, after our big food shop had arrived and been sorted out, Sam and I decided to have a wander down to the new development on the beach to get some Greggs for lunch. I took the opportunity to practice the route I knew, walking independently with my cane with Sam following. Unfortunately, I got a bit confused and went the wrong way a couple of times. Thankfully, between us we managed to get back on track and reached Greggs. Sam bought sausage rolls for us and a steak bake for Kieran. Back at the flat, we enjoyed a jam doughnut each from the bag that had come in the shopping with our pastries. The new Greggs is very nice and I hope we’ll be regular customers at some point. That evening, Kieran cooked burgers, wedges and onion rings for dinner. Sam and Kieran had a beef and a chicken each while I had a lamb and a chicken. As always, it was very nice.

 

Sadly, our plans for Wednesday changed when Sam told us she’d been up quite a bit during the night with an upset stomach. As she was still feeling pretty rough by the morning, we decided not to travel to see Imi as arranged. Of course, this was the right decision because there was no way it was right for Sam to go out for the day feeling so rubbish. It wouldn’t have been an enjoyable day for any of us and was much better for Sam to spend the day recovering. By the afternoon, Sam was feeling a bit better so we played scrabble while Kieran worked. Sam won both games. Later, I cooked fish, new potatoes, peas and sweet corn for dinner. I was a bit worried that the battered fish wouldn’t be great for Sam’s stomach but thankfully she seemed much better and said she enjoyed the meal. While we ate, we watched The Chase. After we’d washed and tidied up, we watched the Chris and Rosie Ramsey show and Kieran and I enjoyed some strawberries.

 

By Thursday, Sam was sure she was feeling better so we agreed to reschedule our trip to see Imi for the following day. After checking his work calendar, Kieran found he wasn’t busy so booked the day off so he could come with us. While Kieran went to look after Wilson for the afternoon, Sam and I played more scrabble, which Sam won again; I think the amount of grapes she ate gave her extra brain power… When he was home, Kieran cooked pasta Bolognese and added mushrooms and lots of cheese; we had it with a cheesy garlic bread. Again, we watched The Chase while we ate and then the Chris and Rosie Ramsey show while Kieran and I enjoyed more strawberries.

 

The next morning, we were up early to catch the half past 8 bus to Heymarket bus station. Once there, Sam navigated the way to Newcastle Central station. I bought us Costa: vanilla iced latte for Kieran; a coke for Sam; and a caramel hot chocolate with some salted caramel popcorn brownies for me. As we were ordering our drinks, my phone rang. When we sat down at a little table, I found I had a voicemail and email from Guide Dogs. I phoned back straight away and the Guide Dog trainer told me they’d found a potential match for me. She was a little yellow Labrador retriever cross named Bree, who I’d met and walked with on the client day I attended at the Newcastle office in May. We arranged for them to come out the following week for the matching visits. Of course, I was absolutely ecstatic and burst into happy tears on Kieran’s shoulder as soon as I ended the call. It was amazing telling everyone. I was so happy I was able to tell Imi in person. We caught the half past 10 train to York and got a taxi to Imi’s flat. It was so great to spend time with her, rapidly growing kitten Pablo and Guide Dog Sam again. Imi was thrilled about the potential dog match and we talked about it quite a bit. In the afternoon, Kieran ordered McDonalds for our lunch. Sadly, the afternoon was soon over and we were heading back to the train station in a taxi. We caught the 6pm train back to Newcastle and Sam guided us back to the bus station. Newcastle was pretty crowded because Sam Fender was performing his sold out show that night. Luckily, there was a bus waiting for us at the station. Once we were home, we ordered takeaway for our dinner. It was past 8 by the time we got in and neither of us could be bothered to cook. While we watched Gogglebox, we enjoyed our food: a pepperoni pizza for Sam; loaded fries and a smoky sausage for Kieran; I had some breaded garlic mushrooms and shared a portion of donner meat with Kieran. The food was lovely; although I was concerned I’d stink of garlic for the foreseeable as the garlic in the mushrooms was pretty strong, as was the big pot of garlic dip I used for the mushrooms and the meat.

 

Before our show on Saturday night, we walked to the fish and chip restaurant on the beach for our lunch. Sam had a sausage with cheesy chips; Kieran had a fish cake and chips; I went for cod bites and cheesy chips; Kieran and I shared some grilled haloumi. I completely underestimated the size of the cod bites and was only able to eat half the meal. Also, Sam and I were pretty disappointed with the cheesy chips because it was literally grated cheese over the top of the chips and not even a lot of cheese either. I’d hoped to have an ice cream afterwards but was far too full. Once we’d finished our meal, we went for a wander along the beach for a little while. Since we’d arrived back up north on Monday, the temperature had increased quite a lot and we were back to melting like we had in Southampton. Southampton itself had heated up even more since we’d left and Mum commented that it was pretty unbearable. Later on, John picked us up at 6pm so that we could get to the theatre in plenty of time. Sam Fender was playing another sold out show so we’d expected town to be busy and for there to be a lot of traffic on the roads. However, we got to Newcastle in super quick time so spent quite a while wandering around town. Eventually, it was time for the show. We headed to the Tyne Theatre & Opera House and all enjoyed Gary Delaney performing his Gary in Punderland show. Usually, I don’t like one-liner comics much. I prefer observational comedy and all the stories you get. But I really enjoyed Gary’s show and laughed along with Sam, Kieran and John.

 

Sunday was a chilled day. Originally, we’d planned to get a taxi and go to Sambuca’s for lunch. But Kieran and I couldn’t be bothered. Instead, we agreed we’d order a Sambuca’s takeaway as it’s almost as good. But when Kieran went to order he found they weren’t offering delivery like they usually do. So we settled for Dominoes, which was a good second choice. We all decided to be pigs and had large pizzas: pepperoni for Sam and half & half pizzas for Kieran and I. We shared potato wedges and cookies. We spent the afternoon watching the Chris and Rosie Ramsey show, Hit List, Ed Sheeran’s documentary The Sum Of It All, a little bit of Soccer Aid and an old Top Gear winter Olympics special.

 

Sadly, Monday had arrived and it was time for Sam to head home. It was really lovely to have her to stay. Kieran and I agree that she’s a very good house guest and it’d be rather quiet after she left. We’d had a pretty busy few weeks and hadn’t had much time just the two of us. It was very strange to be back in the flat just us. Sam, it was lovely to have you to stay with us. Thanks for the little adventures we had. It was great that the three of us were able to go and visit Imi. I enjoyed our games of scrabble and am glad you were able to help me eat the grapes. Looking forward to seeing you again soon.

“Don’t tickle my smelly armpit”: another visit down south

On the 24^th of May, it was time for another trip down south, mainly so I could see everyone down there again but also to celebrate my birthday. Unlike most of the times before, this time it was John who picked us up around 4:30 and took us to the airport because Lesley had tested positive for covid. We arrived at the airport quite early but still checked in fine. Assistance came quickly but sadly weren’t quite up to the usual excellent standard we’ve come to expect at Newcastle airport. Even so, we just about got through security and boarded the plane on time. It was late taking off due to staffing issues. However, it was a smooth flight and we landed in Southampton at around ten to eight. After we’d retrieved our suitcase, assistance guided us into arrivals where Dad and Harley were waiting. On the way home, we stopped off at Tesco so I could buy Mum some flowers to celebrate the all clear scan and blood results she’d received the previous day. After 6 chemotherapy sessions and an operation before that after her second cancer diagnosis, she definitely deserves some good news at last. I don’t for one second take for granted how damn lucky we are that she’s still here. A shop-bought bunch of flowers was nowhere near good enough to tell her how happy I was for this good news and how proud of her I am for going through it like a champion. I cringe at all the well-worn things people say to/about cancer patients, like they’re survivors and heroes and fighters. But I guess she is. As an extra treat, I also bought everyone a Krispy Kreme doughnut: Biscoff for Kieran and I, lemon for Mum, hazelnut for Dad and brownie for Harley. Somehow, Dad managed to eat his as he drove us to Mum’s, shoving the whole thing in his mouth. After all the hugs and hellos, Mum served us slow cooked garlic chicken with new potatoes. It was very nice. We spent the rest of the evening watching the finale of Hell’s Kitchen.

 

After breakfast the following morning, Mum and I went into town so I could buy birthday presents for Harley’s upcoming 18^th and Father’s Day gifts for Dad. On our way to catch the bus home, we popped into Asda for a bit of shopping and bought a French stick so everyone could have rolls for lunch. I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in the sunshine in Mum’s back garden with Kieran, who quickly got sunburnt. That evening, Mum cooked burgers and homemade chips for dinner. She’d bought a selection of burgers so we all chose what we fancied from beef with cheese and bacon, chicken or lamb. They were very tasty. We watched Top Gun Maverick and a Tina Turner concert one of the channels was showing because it’d been announced she’d passed away.

 

Friday was another boiling hot day so Kieran and I spent it soaking up the sun in Mum’s garden. She covered us both in strong sun cream after seeing how quickly Kieran burns. That night, while Harley was out celebrating a friend’s 18^th birthday and Simon had his daughter visiting, Mum cooked a picky bits buffet-style tea. It suited the warm weather very well. It included mini sausage rolls, cocktail sausages, little duck spring rolls, chicken strips, chicken dippers, spicy chicken bits, BBQ chicken wings, pepperoni pizza and new potatoes. We had chocolate bar ice creams afterwards. We watched Catch Phrase while we ate and Travels With My Father after Simon had taken his daughter home.

 

On Saturday, we went to Go Outdoors, B&M and a healthy food pet shop before dropping everything home and going to The Red Lion Wetherspoons for some food. I had quorn nuggets, haloumi fries and curry chips; Simon and Kieran both had fish and chips; Harley had sausage and mash; and Mum went for the chicken bites basket. It wasn’t the best Wetherspoons meal I’ve had but it was nice to go out somewhere for food and to try something new there. Turns out I quite like their quorn nuggets. Just after we got home, a boat horn started blaring and I smiled a lot when I recognised that it was the Disney boat. It used to be at Southampton docks playing its tune often when I lived at Mum’s and we’d always shouted to each other when we’d heard it. It had been there this time last year, too, and it made me happy to hear it again. Kieran listened to the Coventry vs Luton championship play off match, which Luton won on penalties, meaning they got promoted. Later on, we watched Britain’s Got Talent and some boxing with Mum and Simon.

 

Around a quarter past one the next day, after Mum and Simon had left for a day out in town, Dad picked the three of us up and drove to KFC so we could buy food for everyone to take to Nan and Grandad’s. When we arrived, there was big hugs all round. It’s always great to see them but even more so since Grandad had a stroke in December. He’s changed a lot and it always makes me sad to see him as he is now. But that good old Grandad spirit is definitely still there. While we enjoyed the KFC, Nan had 60s music playing and Grandad kept naming the artists, getting the majority of them spot on; Elvis, Bill Haley and Roy Orbison had always been some of his favourites. I was very pleased that Grandad enjoyed the KFC. He managed a chicken strip, some mash potato, a couple of popcorn chicken balls, beans and some gravy. Afterwards, Nan surprised me with her lovely homemade apple crumble, which has always been my favourite thing she cooks since I was little. For years, going to Nan and Grandad’s for a meal on Wednesday afternoon was a tradition. Since Dad moved to live slightly further away and Nan became Grandad’s full-time carer, which is very draining for her, Wednesday dinners have become a thing of the past. They are some of my fondest memories of times with Nan and Grandad. Once we’d finished all the food, also including a bowl of sweets Nan had put on the table for everyone to share, Harley and I walked to the little shop around the corner to get Nan some milk. As we arrived back, Grandad’s carers had turned up for their third visit of the day. Nan and Grandad like to call them “his boys” because he doesn’t like them referred to as carers. Not long after they left, it was time for the football to start. It was the final day of the premier league season and a fixture I look forward to every year… Southampton vs Liverpool. It was a Southampton home match and although I’d looked, I hadn’t been able to purchase tickets to go. It felt weird being back in my hometown to listen to them play my team. Sadly, Southampton had already been relegated from the premier league by this point and Liverpool were unable to claim a champion’s league place. It was a great game, which we listened to on BBC Radio Solent via grandad’s little radio, and ended 4-4. Meanwhile, Kieran was listening to Chelsea vs Newcastle which also finished a draw at 1-1. During the game, Grandad took me completely by surprise when he asked where one of the Liverpool players, who they’d recently announced was leaving the club at the end of the season, was going. It made me so happy because it just shows that he is still aware of what’s happening and taking onboard some new information, even if it doesn’t stay in his memory for long. Another thing I was pleased about was that, after my suggestion, Nan tried Grandad drinking from a Greggs reusable cup and it was a success. She’d told me that he’d been struggling drinking from the straws we’d bought him to try last time and I’d wondered if the opening on a travel cup might be more suitable. Seems it worked. Around half past six, Dad decided it was time to head home. Just like last time, I have some funny quotes from Grandad to make me smile when I need it. First of all, Nan told us how, when he’d first woken up that morning, he’d turned to her and said, very seriously, “I’ve got some news… Martin’s lost his job again”. This had us all laughing, although hoping it wasn’t a premonition. The second was much more personal to Nan and Grandad, involving him casually asking her “well did you enjoy it?” and when she asked him what he was talking about he replied, “the sex”. If nothing else, it’s good amusement, bless him. The actual blog title for this post came after we were home, while Harley, Kieran and I were messing around and making each other laugh. I said “don’t tickle my smelly armpit” and it seemed to stick.

 

The following day brought my 26th birthday. I’m officially feeling very old. After we’d showered, we went downstairs where Mum had put up a balloon, banners and sprinkled confetti on the table in the front room. She always enjoys making a big fuss on our birthday, hence the crazy amount of presents she always buys. This year was no different. Amongst other things, she’d bought me a birthstone Pandora charm; lots of body shop products; some wax melts; essential oils; a microwaveable heat pack; Lush bath bombs, conditioner bar and shampoo bar; a funny Harry Potter shower cap; a Harry Potter luggage tag; a Liverpool mug. Harley gave me a cool pineapple window sign and a fidget ring; a bottle of coconut Body Shop perfume from Simon; Vouchers and money from Kieran’s family; a cool sisters Pandora charm from Imi which splits into two halves so we have one each. The only sadness was that nobody put the Stevie Wonder birthday song on, which has been a tradition in that house for as long as I can remember. Around one o’clock, we went into town and to a few shops before going up to Pizza Hut in West Quay to meet Dad, Michelle, Nan and Auntie Clare for my birthday meal. The best part about the whole thing was that Nan was able to join us. Since Grandad came home from hospital, she’s barely been out anywhere, not having many people to sit with him if she wanted to go out and not feeling it’s right to ask them. But together Auntie Clare and I had insisted this time. It was weird enough not having Grandad there with us, I didn’t want Nan to miss out too. Once everyone was there, I opened the gifts they’d given me. First, from Dad and Michelle, I got  the new 23-24 Liverpool women’s home shirt with Paige 26 printed on the back, some body shop goodies and a personalised Liverpool birthday card. Then, a card and money from Nan. Next, a big bag of body shop products from my good pal Sam (Josh, who has chosen the name Sam and she/her pronouns for herself as she identifies as a transgender woman). Finally, a dog Pandora charm from Auntie Clare. By this point, I was feeling thoroughly spoilt as I’d also received presents from Kieran in the form of gift vouchers for Pandora and Zizi that arrived by email overnight. The food was lovely. I had a salad bowl containing grated carrot, beetroot, sweet corn, peppers, crispy bacon bits and garlic mayo; a stuffed crust Hawaiian pizza with added mushrooms; and a white chocolate salted caramel cookie dough for pudding. Kieran had a stuffed crust spicy meat feast pizza and shared some of the new cheesy melts with Harley. Harley themselves had a bowl of salad and a create your own pizza with a BBQ base, chicken and ham and a chocolate chip cookie dough for pudding. Both Dad and Michelle had salad bowls and shared a portion of cheesy melts, some corn on the cob and a meat feast pizza with added peppers and mushrooms. Again, Mum and Simon had salad bowls and shared a meat feast pizza with added mushrooms. Auntie Clare and Nan also decided to share a pizza, going for half and half so they could both have what they wanted; they both had salad bowls and shared a portion of onion rings. The only complaint was that the choice at the salad bar was very limited. Just before our puddings arrived, everyone began singing happy birthday to me and a millionaire’s shortbread cake arrived, arranged by Mum. After the bill had been paid, I said goodbye to Dad and Michelle and the rest of us went downstairs to Pandora. I wanted Nan to help me choose a charm to represent herself on my bracelet. She chose a lovely sun, moon and stars dangling charm because she often puts moon and stars emojis at the end of her goodnight text messages. Lovely staff member Debbie was great at describing all of the charms with me and guiding my hands over them to show me the smaller details. She was also very intrigued by my Pandora necklace, which I’ve been adding to since 2016 and is now full. She seemed really happy to see some of the old charms they no longer sell. Later that evening, we watched more Britain’s Got Talent and I had a slice of my birthday cake, which was very nice but incredibly sweet; Mum knows my taste well. Overall, it was a pretty great birthday. I was thoroughly spoilt by everyone, was able to see most of my family and enjoyed a really lovely meal out.

 

After the busy day before, we enjoyed a few hours chilling in Mum’s back garden the next day. I ate my leftover pizza for breakfast and it was just as nice cold. Around 5 o’clock, we caught the bus into town so that I could claim my free Costa slice of cake, which is a reward you get on the Costa Club app when it’s your birthday, and use a body shop voucher. Primarily, though, we’d gone into town to meet my friend Tiny, his wife Nicky and gorgeous guide dog Millsey for dinner. We’d agreed on TGI Fridays and it turned out to be a good choice. Kindly, Tiny and Nicky had bought me a cool sequin birthday card of a football that changed colour if you moved the sequins up and down and a posh pizza slicer; this was because when they came to visit Kieran and I in December we’d had a conversation about how hard it is to cut up pizza without losing all your toppings. For the meal, I had the starter, fries and refill drink for £10 deal, choosing the Jack Daniels glazed sesame chicken strips. Mum and Harley also chose this deal, sharing two of them between them, having the loaded potato skins and Jack Daniels glazed sesame chicken strips. Kieran, Tiny and Nicky all went for the other good deal on, a starter and main course for £20. Kieran had sticky wings and the Fridays burger; Tiny chose the loaded potato skins and Fridays burger; Nicky went for Jack Daniels glazed sesame chicken strips and the quesadilla. Everyone seemed to agree the food was excellent. Even Millsey received good customer service as he was offered a bowl of water, a huge floor space to stretch out on and was left alone by the staff and other diners. It was so nice to see Tiny and Nicky again and I hope we can meet up again when I’m visiting or they have to come up north for work-related things at Guide Dogs. Once we were home, it was more Britain’s Got Talent. Mum got the song One More Time by Daft Punk stuck in her head after it was used in one of the act’s performances and kept singing it as we got ready for bed. I couldn’t stop laughing and she kept singing it every time she heard me giggle. I commented that she’d end up singing it in her sleep.

 

Auntie Clare picked Kieran, Harley and I up around half past ten the following morning and took us to Nan and Grandad’s. Nan needed to go out to do her weekly shopping so we’d arranged for the three of us to stay with Grandad while Auntie Clare took Nan out. It was nice to be able to help Nan out and even better that I was able to spend a bit more time with the three of them while I was visiting. Grandad was in good spirits again. I did my best to make conversation with him, asking him what he’d had for breakfast and whether he’d watched Britain’s Got Talent as I knew Nan sometimes did. Even though I listed as many options as I could think of, he couldn’t recall what he’d had for breakfast. But he did remember watching Britain’s Got Talent and the crazy guy who’d put a sword down his throat. Also, at one point he asked Kieran whether there was any sport on and they were able to have a little conversation about that. Around two o’clock, after Grandad’s “boys” had been for their lunchtime visit, Nan and Auntie Clare arrived with Greggs for lunch. We had sausage rolls and Yum Yums which were very nice. Just after three, Auntie Clare took Kieran, Harley and I back to hers for the rest of the afternoon. I gave Nan and Grandad big hugs before I left, trying to explain to Grandad that I’d see him next time I was visiting. I always feel that extra bit of sadness saying goodbye to them these days. I’m very aware that they’re both getting older and Grandad especially isn’t in the best of health any more. While Kieran and I lounged on the comfy sofa in Auntie Clare’s conservatory with crazy pup Teddy, Harley and Auntie Clare made cookie dough for our pudding. When Uncle Dave arrived, we all decided what we wanted from the Chinese takeaway and Auntie Clare phoned through to order. Uncle Dave went to collect it and we all enjoyed sharing curry chips, special fried rice, sweet & sour chicken balls, mini vegetable spring rolls and chicken chow mein. The food was very tasty and made a great combination for everyone. The homemade cookie dough pudding was also very nice and we were all very full afterwards. Later on, at home with Mum we watched more Britain’s Got Talent.

 

The following morning, Jenny popped round for a coffee and a catch up. She bought me some very cute birthday gifts of a handmade birthday card, dog patterned oven glove and little Labrador key ring. It was really good to see her again and nice to catch up. In the afternoon, Mum, Harley and I caught the bus into town, grabbed some snacks and drinks from the little Tesco Express nearby and went to the Mayflower to see the Disney’s Winnie the Pooh production I’d bought tickets to for Mum’s birthday. It was a kids show really but Mum loves Winnie the Pooh and it sounded like it’d be fun, which it was. We were definitely the oldest people without little children there by a mile but I didn’t care; Mum enjoyed it so it had the intended affect. That evening, Mum cooked chicken and chips with warm bread for dinner. It felt like a very summery meal. Afterwards, we had fudge cake and watched yet more Britain’s Got Talent.

 

Friday was spent in and out of the garden. The weather was still hot and Kieran was adding to his tan. I read two books: Sandi Lewis’s Living with Max, her first-hand experience of having a child with Down’s Syndrome, and foster carer Louise Allen’s Billy’s Story, which is her memoir of the sickening state little Billy was in when he was placed in her care and the horrors that emerged about what he’d been through. Although these fostering memoirs sound quite bleak, I really enjoy reading them to get a better understanding of what being a foster carer is like and the circumstances some children come from leading to them having to go into care. It’s strange because I feel like saying I enjoy those kinds of books is offensive to the children they’re written about considering the hardships they’ve been through. I guess “find them interesting” sounds just as bad but I don’t know how else to describe it. That night, Simon and Mum drove to the kebab van we’ve always loved and bought food back for everyone. Kieran and I shared a large mixed kebab with large chips. Mum and Simon did the same; Harley had chicken nuggets and chips. The food was lovely as always. We’d dithered between a Chinese takeaway or kebab and I was very glad kebab won. Yet more Britain’s Got Talent on the TV.

 

Around midday on Saturday, Simon drove the five of us to the nearby Mayfield Nurseries, a volunteer run small garden centre and café. Technically, it is within walking distance but is a bit too far for Mum, who’s still recovering from the after effects of surgery and chemo; plus, it was pretty hot out. We enjoyed a nice lunch: ham and cheese sandwich, triple chocolate brownie and a strawberry milkshake for Harley; a biscoff blondie and biscoff milkshake for me; an apple and cinnamon cake with a biscoff milkshake for Kieran; a raspberry & white chocolate cake and a coke for Mum; tuna mayo sandwich, slice of carrot cake and a chocolate milkshake for Simon. It’s a lovely little place and the food and drinks are all very fresh, being handmade by the volunteer staff. Later on, Mum and Simon went out to meet some friends to celebrate one of their birthdays. The three of us decided to order takeaway: cheesy chips and breaded garlic mushrooms for me; cheese burger with BBQ sauce for Harley, who had a few of my cheesy chips; Kieran had a burger with cheese, bacon and chilis and some chips; we shared a garlic bread. We watched an episode of Gogglebox and a documentary about Ed Sheeran. When they’d come home from their night out, Mum and Simon ordered a curry. Two more potential blog titles came that evening, one thanks to Suggs “he keeps getting his willy out” because he kept rubbing it across Mum’s fluffy mat in the front room and “I want my curry” said continuously by Mum who was staring out of the bedroom window waiting for the delivery driver to arrive.

 

At a quarter to one on Sunday, Kieran and I walked to the nearby bus stop so we could catch the bus into town to meet Sam. However, there was delays on the busses so Mum, Simon and Harley picked us up and took us into town on their way to Tesco. Once with Sam, we caught the 14:03 train to Bournemouth. After that, we got on the bus that dropped us off near The Moon In The Square Wetherspoons. We’d decided it’d be a good idea to have a meal there and sit there as long as we could before going to the Bournemouth International Centre (BIC) to see Russell Howard perform his latest stand-up tour. I had scampi and chips with mushy peas and some haloumi fries; I did order some curry sauce but it never came. Kieran and Sam had chicken burgers and chips and Kieran ordered some extra onion rings, not realising his meal already had some included. While Kieran and Sam had more drinks, I had the cookie dough sandwich, which was lovely although not warm like the description claims. At a quarter past six, we left the pub and went for a wander along Bournemouth beach. Another potential blog title came here when, as we walked, I kept saying “doughnuts” then “weed” repeatedly as the smells wafted. Russell Howard’s show had us all crying with laughter. It’s definitely the funniest live show we’ve been to in a while. Also, the reason the tour name hadn’t been found when we searched for was revealed… because he’d named the show “lucky jizz”. Dad and Michelle picked us up after the show. Sam, Kieran and Dad all enjoyed singing along to his rather diverse playlist on the way home.

 

As usual, the last day of our visit had arrived too soon. At first, this trip seemed to go nice and slowly, because it was longer than it normally is, but towards the end it flew by. We spent most of the day sat in Mum’s garden soaking up the warm weather. The forecast said Blyth was a whole 10 degrees cooler. At 4pm, Mum cooked us meatballs and nachos with garlic bread. We’d wanted to have a meal before we left because it would be late by the time we got home and there was no way we were going to cook or order something by then. Plus, I always enjoy it when Mum makes nachos with meatballs. Again,, it didn’t disappoint. By the time Dad, with Michelle and Sam, picked us up around a quarter past six to go to the airport, I was still feeling very nicely full. Big hugs all round for Mum and Harley. As always, it felt horrible saying goodbye again. My next trip to Southampton is scheduled for July to celebrate Harleys’ 18^th birthday. I still can’t quite believe they’re going to be a legal adult. If me turning 26 didn’t manage to make me feel old, Harley reaching 18 certainly does.

 

So another great visit home has come and gone. It was really great that I managed to spend so much time with all my family. But it’s never long enough. I was treated to a really excellent birthday and am so glad I managed to spend it with everyone, although it was sad Grandad and Sam weren’t there. It’s amazing to see Mum recovering from her chemotherapy. She did really well throughout the treatment, only having relatively minor side effects. The fact that she lost all her hair was the hardest thing she had to deal with. But it’s growing back lovely now; she’s certainly grumpy that she has to shave her legs again! Getting extra time with Dad was nice too, due to his new work schedule that gives him more days off each week. It was especially great to spend a couple of lovely days with Nan and Grandad. I miss them a lot and FaceTime isn’t quite as good as being there in person. Of course, takeaway with Auntie Clare and Uncle Dave plus the meal out with Tiny and catch up with Jenny were great bonuses. I can’t wait to be able to see everyone again in just over a month. Hopefully, we’ll be lucky with some more nice weather so we can enjoy Mum’s garden again. Although it’s heated up considerably up here now, the temperature really was 10 degrees cooler when we landed and it was quite a shock to the system.

“She just wants to see my willy”: another week visiting Southampton

On the 9^th of this month, it was time for another flight down south for another week’s visit to Southampton and everyone down there. Since I visited last, over the new year, quite a lot has happened. The biggest event has been my Grandad John being discharged from hospital and allowed to return home for the first time since his stroke in early December. Sadly, the impact of his stroke has been much worse than the doctors originally predicted and for quite a while nobody thought he’d be coming home. To begin with, the doctors diagnosed him as having had three minor strokes. His whole right-hand side was affected, including his face falling and being unable to use his leg or arm. Thankfully, not long after the strokes, his face returned to normal again. I think that was comfort for Nan because it was hard to see the man she’s been married to almost 60 years look so different. But of course that was insignificant as long as he was ok eventually. At first, Grandad was given physio for his arm and leg. He seemed to be making slow progress. But then things seemed to get worse. A scan was done and they found he’d had bleeding on his brain. Due to this plus his age and the three minor strokes, the doctors said the impact on him was like having a full major stroke. It was a big blow to our hopes of him returning to normal. Now, we know that’s never going to happen. They continued physio on his arm for a while but quickly decided there was nothing they could do for his leg; he wasn’t going to walk again. I know this upset Nan. It’s totally life changing for him. Although in recent years he’s become more and more unstable on his feet, he still used to go to the local shop and buy the newspaper every morning. They used to go out for their weekly shop every Thursday and sometimes out with Dad and Harley on Saturday for a wander around town and lunch out. Not the most active lifestyle or anywhere near as much as five years ago when he could still drive, but enough to keep them busy. His speech was somewhat affected, with him taking longer to respond and his words being slightly slurred. In time, his speech became clearer but he still takes a while to reply and doesn’t really start conversations. But he’d been like that a bit before the stroke. We’d all been certain he has dementia and Nan was trying to get him tested. But it didn’t happen. Now, they’re just taking it as a side effect of the stroke. But we’re still sure it’s dementia too, which has obviously made the impact of the stroke worse. Since he’s been home, he seems to have improved a bit. Nan is finding it tiring looking after him but the help of carers four times a day, when they’re competent, is making a big of difference. Before I travelled, everyone warned me not to expect too much from Grandad, that he’s changed a lot and isn’t really him any more. But I didn’t have expectations; just to see him home would be enough. But I was a little sceptical of everyone’s negativity. Over the phone, he’d seemed quite chirpy and as I’d expect someone who’s had a stroke to be. But I understood I wasn’t seeing him daily so didn’t see the good and the bad.

 

Other big things include Mum continuing to progress well with her chemotherapy and Dad starting his new job as a driver’s mate for Currys. We’ve all been pleasantly surprised how well Mum has coped with chemo. When you hear about people having it or read about it online, you always get the worst case scenarios. But, touch wood, Mum has been quite fortunate with the side effects. Of course, she’s very much looking forward to it being over and, as of last Friday, had her fifth out of six sessions. Netflix has been her main ally through it all, giving her something to focus on during the long hours of treatment. Hopefully, after her sixth session in three weeks time, only monitoring scans and physio will be a reminder of everything she’s been through. She’s looking forward to finding a new job and joining a gym to get her fitness and strength back up. Her immune system, which was notoriously rubbish before this, has coped amazingly with chemo and the doctors are really pleased with how things are going. Dad has settled into his new job quite well. Although, in usual Dad fashion, he’s not 100% happy there. Driver’s mate is always a role he’s enjoyed but he’s finding the long hours and distance driving from home to the warehouse difficult. I’m hoping that with a bit more time he’ll get used to it and start to enjoy it properly. He definitely enjoys the rota which includes three days off. This is a lot in comparison to his one day a week before. He’s able to visit Nan and Grandad a lot more, which is great given their new situation, and gets more time to spend with Harley and Michelle.

 

So, on 9 March at around 4pm, Lesley collected us from the flat and took us to the airport. We were checked in and through security quickly but the flight was delayed due to it being cabin crew member June’s 70^th birthday. According to a tweet the company put out later, June is one of their longest serving members of staff and it was a lovely gesture for the company to put on a little surprise onboard the flight she was working on her birthday itself. The CEO of the company was on the flight and had arranged personalised cupcakes for her, which were handed out to each passenger on the flight. Everyone wished June a happy birthday as they boarded and left the plane. We could tell she was really touched from the kind gestures and a little moved when she did her speech before landing. The cupcakes were lovely: plain sponge with a massive swirl of vanilla buttercream and a big icing decoration on top, which I assume was personalised with a message to June. The special celebrations were clearly totally deserved and it was really nice that the company made the effort for her. Kieran and I said we thought she was crazy working on her 70^th and hoped she would have some free time to celebrate personally with friends and family. It made for a pretty special and unique flight.

 

Dad, Harley and Michelle were waiting to meet us in the arrivals hall and there were big hugs all round. The member of special assistance staff helped us get our suitcase no problem. Dad drove us to Mum’s where she cooked lamb, beef, chicken and double beef with cheese in the middle burgers with homemade chips for dinner. We watched the films Live And Let Die and Crank, which were showing on TV channels.

 

The following morning, Dad and Michelle picked Kieran and I up around 11. We went and had a drink in Costa: a black Americano for Kieran, a decaf coconut latte for Michelle, his usual hazelnut latte for Dad and a rolo hot chocolate with a slice of lotus biscoff rocky road for me. Afterwards, we went next door and bought food from Greggs to take to Nan and Grandad’s for everyone for lunch. I bought a pack of four sausage rolls to cover myself, Nan and Grandad, Kieran had a steak bake, Michelle a chicken and bacon baguette and Dad a cheese and bacon twist; I also bought a few doughnuts in case anyone wanted one. It was so lovely to see Nan and Grandad again. I always miss them now I’m living far away but even more so since Grandad had his stroke. I just always feel like they’ll always be here, even though rationally I know they’re getting older, and Grandad’s stroke was a cruel reminder that they aren’t going to be. Nan was very pleased with the Greggs lunch. When they used to go out to do their shopping on a Thursday, they’d always sit in Greggs for their lunch and a coffee. Of course, that’s another thing they’re unable to do now. We’d been unsure whether Grandad would be able to eat a sausage roll so were all pleased when he managed quite a lot of it. Nan decided to save his doughnut for later. Despite everyone’s warnings, Grandad was on top form, chatting and making jokes. His speech is still a bit slower than it used to be and he definitely takes longer to process what’s being said and respond but he’s definitely still there, still Grandad.

 

After he’d eaten his lunch, Dad did some painting in the bathroom and kitchen for Nan. He also showed Grandad a video on his phone of his new car. A sad moment came when Grandad wriggled around in his chair, clearly trying to get up. When Nan asked him what he was doing, he said he was going to see Dad’s new car. She reminded him he couldn’t and when he questioned why not, she had to explain about the stroke and that he can’t walk. I think we were all a little choked up. Strangely, he didn’t argue, just accepted it and sat still.

 

A little later, we left Nan and Grandad’s to visit Auntie Clare and Uncle Dave for a little while. It’s always a juggling act to try and get to see everyone each time I’m down and even more so now Dad’s days off don’t fall on the same day every week. Auntie Clare’s hips are really bad now, to the point where she doesn’t move out of her chair unless she needs to because it hurts so much. Thankfully, her first hip replacement operation is scheduled for a few weeks time so we hope she’ll be in a lot less pain and more mobile very soon. Currently, Uncle Dave is taking special leave from work to be home to look after her. He worries about her being alone because she’s fallen over and been unable to get back up a couple of times. Of course, now Nan has to be with Grandad, unless someone else can sit with him, she can’t go to be with Auntie Clare. Uncle Dave was very busy while we were there, sorting things out around the house, and jokes that he’s slave Dave on minimum wage. Teddy, who’s now 9 months old, has grown loads since I saw him at Christmas and loved Kieran, as most dogs do. Harley arrived not long after 3, walking from college, which is only around the corner from Clare and Dave’s house.

 

An hour or so later, we left and went to a nearby fish and chip shop to buy dinner for us plus Nan and Grandad. Again, I wanted to treat Nan because she’s working so hard looking after Grandad. We were also curious to see what Grandad would be able to eat. Since his stroke, his swallow reflex has been affected and he struggles to eat quite a lot of food he used to enjoy. Nan asked for a small plain sausage for him and a pea fritter for herself; Kieran and I shared a large battered cod; Harley had chicken nuggets; Dad had a chicken and mushroom pie; Michelle had a cheese and mushroom burger; and I forgot to order the curry sauce Kieran and I were going to share. The food was quite nice but didn’t really have a lot of flavour to it. Happily, Grandad managed to eat quite a lot of his meal and Nan seemed to enjoy her pea fritter. A little after we’d finished eating, Nan and Michelle realised Grandad was uncomfortable. It turned out his afternoon carers hadn’t done a very good job of changing him. To start with, they’d changed him while he was still sat in his chair, which meant they hadn’t put his pad on correctly. This meant he’d wet through his pyjamas and was fidgeting to try and sort himself out. As Michelle is a nurse on the stroke ward, she offered to sort him out. As she said, we couldn’t just leave him like that. This is when the quote that forms the title of this blog was said. When Michelle explained to Grandad what she needed to do, in a really calm voice so he’d understand but without being patronising, Grandad responded straight away, quick as a flash, “she just wants to see my willy”. Without hesitation, as we all burst out laughing, Michelle responded “well I’m going to get your son to help so you can compare”. This joke, more than anything else he said that day, makes me know Grandad is still in there. After everyone was satisfied Grandad was clean and comfortable, we said goodbye. Another little sad moment came then when, as we said our goodbyes, Grandad said he’d come and walk us out. I just told him to sit and relax. He didn’t protest. That evening, we watched Jonathan Ross and Police Academy 4.

 

Saturday meant another day out with Dad. I needed to do Mother’s Day shopping as well as early birthday shopping for Mum and Dad because I wouldn’t be visiting again until after all three events. This meant a trip into town where Harley and I shopped in as many places as fast as we could to get everything we wanted for them. Seeing as we were shopping for three times the amount of presents, this wasn’t an easy task. Before we went into town, we quickly popped into see Nan and Grandad so Dad could check his handywork now the paint had dried; he was very pleased. We sat with Nan and Grandad for a little while and Nan told us the carers had been good that morning. Grandad seemed quite content and chatted a bit. I felt strange saying goodbye. It’s always hard but since Grandad’s had his stroke the distance seems that little bit further. Grandad made it sadder by trying to wriggle out of his chair, holding out his hand for Kieran to shake. Whenever Grandad used to greet or say goodbye to Kieran he’d shake his hand. Of course, Kieran couldn’t see what Grandad was trying to do and it took a few seconds for everyone else to realise. Again, he also said he’d come to see us out. I was a bit choked up because Grandad would always show us out and wave us off from the pavement. It’s a weird thing knowing he’ll never be able to do that again.

 

Once we were in town, the five of us went for lunch in Dad’s favourite café, Poppins. I had a cheese and mushroom panini, Harley a cheese toasty, Kieran a sausage and bacon baguette and Dad his usual brunch with beans. Afterwards, Harley and I headed off to do our shopping. Meanwhile, Dad took Kieran with him to HMV, CEX and the vape shop. Then, they had a coffee before sitting in the car to wait for us. Once we were finished shopping, Dad drove us home; I gave him a big hug goodbye as I wouldn’t be seeing him again until my next visit because he was working for the rest of this week.

 

That evening, while Mum and Simon were still out at their all-day music event, the three of us ordered takeaway while watching Gogglebox. We shared a mixed kebab, large cheesy chips and a cheesy garlic bread.

 

The next day was a quiet one until Kieran and I caught the bus into town to meet Josh for dinner and our comedy show that evening. The only notable thing that happened during the day was when I was playing fetch with Suggs and his ball upstairs and the ball bounced into the toilet. We disinfected it in a jug of boiling water with some washing up liquid so Suggs forgave me. Later, Kieran, Josh and I went to the Giddy Bridge Wetherspoons for our food. Josh had a chicken burger with cheese and bacon and chips; I had the chicken strip basket which came with chips and a cookie dough sandwich for pudding; Kieran had a mixed grill and shared onion rings with me. We sat chatting for a couple of hours until it was close enough to the start of our show to head to the theatre. We were seeing Chris McCausland perform his Speaky Blinder show at the Mast Mayflower Studios theatre. The show was absolutely excellent! Of course, the fact that the three of us totally understood the blind jokes he made was even funnier. I also found it quite strange because Chris described how he pictures scenes around him in his head since he lost his sight and I’ve never heard anyone else explain it like that, just how I picture things too. Josh wanted me to use a quote from the show, “Fanny Gravie”, for the title of this post but Grandad’s line is even better.

 

While Harley was at college, on Monday morning Mum and I popped to Lidl. The boiler stopped working so it was pretty chilly in the house, especially as the weather temperature had dropped too. During the afternoon, we watched game shows on telly, including Lingo, Bridge Of Lies and The Chase. As Mum enjoyed Lingo, Kieran introduced her to Wordle. Mum did meatballs and nachos with garlic bread for dinner, while Harley was out having Nando’s with their friends. Later, we watched a documentary on Paula Yates and the film Gone In 60 Seconds.

 

While Harley was at college and Kieran watched the Cheltenham festival on the telly, Mum and Simon took me into town so I could buy some new trainers and jogging bottoms to use when I play goalball. Later on, Mum cooked roast gammon for dinner and we watched The Chase, Masked Singer US and Star Struck.

 

As I wasn’t happy with them, on Wednesday Mum and Simon took me back into town to exchange my trainers. Meanwhile, Kieran watched more horse racing. On our way home from town, we picked Harley up from college and went to Lidl so I could buy Mum early Mother’s Day flowers. That evening, we went out for a meal at the Harvester restaurant in the Swan Centre shopping centre in Eastleigh. Harley had chicken goujons and loaded potato skins with lots of bowls from the salad bar; I had breaded garlic mushrooms, a big bowl from the salad bar and battered haloumi with chips and mushy peas; Kieran had jalapeno poppers followed by a chicken ribs combo with chips; Simon had a chicken burger, Mum had chicken skewers and they shared calamari and breaded garlic mushrooms. The service was good and food delicious so it was a great evening out; we were all very full by the end of it. When we got home, we chatted to Dad, Michelle and Josh on FaceTime before watching Masked Singer US with Mum and Simon while listening to the Real Madrid vs Liverpool second leg Champions League match, which Liverpool lost 1-0 (6-2 on aggregate) and exited the cup.

 

Thursday meant the day I always dread had arrived, it was time to say goodbye to everyone again and head home. Before we left, Kieran ordered Dominoes for himself, Harley and I; Mum and Simon didn’t want any when offered. Harley had chicken strips and potato wedges; Kieran had a meat feast pizza with extra chillies; I had a small create your own Italian-style crust pizza with tuna, sweet corn, mushrooms and garlic spread and a Texas BBQ wrap. The food was lovely. We watched more game shows during the afternoon before making sure everything was packed and ready to go. Dad arrived with Michelle and Josh to take us to the airport around 6. On Saturday, I’d thought we wouldn’t see Dad again but his work schedule had changed so he was able to drive us to the airport. Kieran and I gave Mum and Harley big hugs; it never gets easier saying goodbye. However, it’s only just over 2 months until I’ll be back visiting. By then, Mum will have had her check up scan after chemo is finished, so hopefully everything will be clear, and Harley will have nearly finished college. We arrived at the airport far too early and after sitting in the car a little while, all headed in. We checked in quickly and after briefly sitting down in the waiting area, a member of special assistance staff arrived to guide us through. More goodbye hugs were exchanged and then we headed through security to the departure lounge, where we sat for quite a while because we were so early. The flight home went smoothly and Rebecca and Dave were waiting to meet us at Newcastle airport.

 

So, another great visit has come and gone. I was glad I managed to see everyone, especially spending time with Nan and Grandad. Thank you to Lesley for taking us to the airport and Rebecca & Dave for picking us up. Thanks, Josh, for a great afternoon/evening out with great food and comedy. Thanks, Dad, for putting up with my endless shopping sprees, but you’ll benefit when your birthday comes. Thanks, Kieran, for keeping Dad company haha. Thanks, Harley, for all your help with the shopping and gift organising; I think we make a good team. Thanks, Mum, for having us to stay again and all the lovely food; the amount of time I’m down there is never enough but I’m glad I get to spend so much of it with you. Looking forward to when I see you all again in May.

 

PS: other potential blog titles for this post included “Fanny Gravie” from Chris McCausland’s show and Harley’s random line of “there’s been no sunsets and it’s making me depressed” as they tried to take photos from their bedroom window on Friday evening.

“Harley up” and “ show us your legs Colin”

After 4 months of not seeing them, it was time for a southern family reunion. As arranged, once they were ready – Dad insisted on a haircut and some lunch in a less than nice local café before leaving – Dad, Michelle, Harley (Tamsin) and Josh sat in Dad’s car for 7 hours and headed north, arriving at our flat at around 10:30. Of course, after that length of time spent in a car plus multiple stops – Josh claims only 2 of them were his fault – everyone was pretty tired. But it was so great to see them. They took advantage of our facilities, Dad going for the crisps and coffee and Michelle opting for some of Kieran’s beer. While we chatted, Dad gave Kieran and I the little presents they’d bought back from their recent holiday to Tenerife. Kieran and I had a football magnet each, obviously his Newcastle and mine Liverpool, a tea towel and another magnet that said Tenerife. I immediately put the magnets up on the front of the fridge, which is now pretty full. After they’d finished their refreshments – and Dad had fully slated Kieran’s music selection playing on the multi-room system – they headed off for the night to their hotel. Josh, Kieran, Harley and I stayed up another hour and a half just chatting.

 

On Saturday morning, Kieran cooked himself and Josh sausage sandwiches for breakfast. Harley and I decided not to join them because we thought Dad and Michelle would soon arrive for our shopping spree to the Metrocentre. We soon realised we were mistaken when they didn’t arrive until 12:30, after indulging in the hotel breakfast. By this time, Harley and I were pretty hungry and a bit annoyed. However, we were soon on our way. I’ve never been to the Metrocentre before and after being repeatedly warned by Kieran it was rubbish, I was quite pleased to find I enjoyed our day out shopping. Back down south, we usually spent most weekends at a city centre of some kind, not always Southampton itself. It was just a thing. It seems that isn’t normal for many families but it was our routine. The Metrocentre is huge and had loads of shops we browsed. I particularly liked a stall selling all things smelling lovely. I bought some wax melts to use in my electric burner. They’ve become something I love. I’ve always liked smelly candles but am always worried about lighting them. Mum sent me a battery operated lighter thing but I’m still nervous about the flame. Wax melts in my electric burner are a great alternative and smell just as good, without the safety risk. The melts I bought smelt like some of my favourite scents: Lush product Snow Fairy and Dove soap. I’ve since tried the soap one and it’s lovely. Harley and I also browsed Primark, with Harley treating themselves to a scarf and cardigan and me some fleecy Garfield pyjamas and a fluffy thing that’s a mix between a dressing gown and a hoodie. It probably has some trendy name or something but I have no clue. The dressing gown hoodie thing was patterned with mushrooms, something Harley chose because mushroom used to be my nickname at secondary school. Thankfully, it never stuck, although strangely Dad still uses it sometimes. We finally got our much needed food when we stopped at KFC. We were pretty greedy, ordering quite a lot for two people, and ended up taking the remainder of our popcorn chicken home in Harley’s rucksack. Back at the flat, Josh and Kieran were having “a lovely afternoon chilling out and watching sport”. As I was a bit lazy, Josh has helped me out by writing his own blog notes, which I’m relying on heavily for this first week. Kieran was very pleased with Newcastle’s match, where “they battered 10 man Fulham 4-1 at the cottage”. Unfortunately, Josh was less impressed with Southampton who, despite taking the lead early in the second half, were beaten 2-1 by Everton, who scored those goals in as many minutes. This was made worse as Josh “went to the kitchen to grab a celebratory Pepsi” and by the time he returned Saints were losing. Due to the excitement, both boys had a nap during half time. Josh claims that’s “cos we’re old lol”.

 

Our mammoth shopping trip meant we didn’t arrive back until 8:30, by which time Kieran had ordered our takeaway tea, which we went halves on as a treat for everyone. Apparently, cheesy chips were a popular option as everyone except Harley, who had chips with Bolognese instead, ordered them. Dad and Michelle shared a donner meat, Josh had a margarita pizza and Kieran had a meat feast pizza; Kieran also bought some mozzarella sticks to share and we were given a garlic bread free with our order. The food was lovely. Dad and Michelle headed back to their hotel around 10. The four of us spent the rest of the night watching Friday Night Dinner.

 

As Dad had requested, on Sunday we went for lunch out at Sambuca’s. On the weekend I’d moved in, Dad had thoroughly enjoyed his chicken kiev, even if he didn’t eat it all because he’d splurged on a cooked breakfast beforehand, and was looking forward to having another. Instead of having my usual tuna and garlic pizza, I decided to try the kiev as well. Michelle and Kieran chose roast dinners, Josh had a chicken Voldostano – I’ve relied on his spelling for this – and Harley had a spaghetti bolognese. As always, it was a lovely meal. After we arrived home, in Josh’s words: “M&M pissed off to the hotel for the rest of the afternoon so we just chilled out”. M&M is the nickname Josh and I came up for Martin and Michelle when they first got together and we couldn’t stand the idea of it. We watched Manchester City batter Manchester United 6-3 while Josh watched “a chaotic Singapore GP which featured crashes a plenty in the wet weather”. Afterwards, We watched Leeds vs Aston Villa, which was “god awful” and ended 0-0. To brighten the mood, we watched more Friday Night Dinner and finally convinced Harley to join Facebook. Kieran and I had been wanting them to join for ages, mainly because when we check in at places out it feels weird tagging everyone else and leaving Harley out. Sometime during the afternoon, Lesley turned up with Gill and jack russel Bailey. She’d bought us a homemade Victoria sponge cake, which we quickly tucked into after they’d left. Around 8:30, Dad and Michelle finally reappeared, Michelle bringing beer and chocolate cake. We decided to play some quiz shows and had a go at The Hit List, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and Jimmy Carr’s I Literally Just Told You. Josh and Michelle particularly enjoyed the last one. Kieran was as always good at The Hit List and when he joined in, so was Dad.

 

Sadly, on Monday morning it was time for Dad, Michelle and Harley to head back down south. It was so great to have them up to visit and although it’s always hard saying goodbye, this time I wouldn’t have long to wait as I was headed down to Southampton the following weekend. After they’d left around 11, during Kieran’s team meeting, Josh and I chilled out in the living room watching Four In A Bed. For some reason, I wasn’t feeling too well. I was putting it down to so much social interaction and the mad shopping trip. During the afternoon, Josh had the genius idea of asking Imi if she was free either Tuesday or Wednesday for us to pop down and visit. We weren’t actually expecting a yes response but she replied saying she was free Tuesday. So Josh started planning and eventually we found trains that suited us both. To begin with, I wasn’t too enthusiastic. Of course, I loved the idea of seeing Imi but I’m not very good with impromptu plans. I think I cheered up quite quickly after everything was arranged and started looking forward to travels with Josh and seeing Imi. The only sadness was that Kieran couldn’t come with us. He had meetings he had to be in and it was too last minute for him to take a random day off. After Kieran finished work, he cooked our tea, “some rather delicious burgers” with chips. Again, we spent the evening watching more Friday Night Dinner.

 

In preparation for our long day, we were up bright and early Tuesday morning so we didn’t have to rush too much to get ourselves ready. Josh and I caught the 8:48 bus into Heymarket bus station in Newcastle. We then hopped on the metro to take us to central station. Josh says this is “cos we’re lazy bastards” but it just made sense rather than walking. After we’d got off the metro and navigated up to the main level of the station, I asked Josh if we could head to Costa and Greggs so I could grab some refreshments. I got a bacon roll from Greggs and a caramel shortbread and caramel hazelnut white hot chocolate from Costa, earning myself some nice Costa beans points in the process. Special assistance staff helped us onto our 10:35 train to York and I ate my food. The bacon roll from Greggs was stone cold so I didn’t bother but the Costa stuff was great as always. We arrived into York “bang on time” at 11:34 where a member of special assistance staff guided us to the taxi rank. We got into a taxi straight away and headed for Imi’s student accommodation. As we pulled into the car park, she and gorgeous Sam were there waiting for us. We had the biggest hug. It was so great to see them again. Sadly, our day wasn’t the happy reunion we’d planned. Just after we’d settled in, Imi had some rather crushing news about the support she receives. I’m just glad we were there to support her and, although it wasn’t the day we’d imagined, it’s always great to see her. I got some lovely cuddles from Sam and Lucy the cat and we were able to lend shoulders and ears of support when she needed us most. Regrettably, we did have to leave that evening. Josh had a bit of a panic when it came to booking a taxi back to the train station. At first, we didn’t think we were going to get one. He tried all the companies we could think of, even the random ones found on a Google search that Imi had never heard of. Eventually, Uber was our saviour. We boarded the 17:08 service to Newcastle. We arrived about 15 minutes late “after sitting on the King Edward bridge waiting for a platform for what felt like an eternity”. We were soon on the metro back to Heymarket and although we missed our intended bus, another one arrived 10 minutes later and we headed back to Blyth. We arrived home in time for the Liverpool vs Rangers Champions League match, which ended 2-0 making me very happy. Kieran cooked us cod, new potatoes and peas, which was, to use one of Josh’s favourite expressions, lush.

 

Wednesday was another chilled out day which Josh and I spent in the living room while Kieran worked. That evening, I made wraps with curly fries and onion rings for dinner.

 

Kieran had booked Thursday off work so we all got a bit of a lie in. We spent most of the day watching Friday Night Dinner. As an early birthday treat for Josh, we ordered Dominoes in the afternoon. Josh had a stuffed crust margarita pizza, Kieran had a meat feast pizza and I had a Hawaiian with added mushrooms. We shared dough balls, garlic bread, chicken strips, potato wedges and cookies. Safe to say we were all rather stuffed afterwards. We also got a bottle of coke in our meal deal but we just put that in the fridge. Later, Lesley and John picked us up and took us to The Stand Comedy Club in Newcastle to see Maisie Adam perform her Buzzed tour live. Josh “wimped out” of sitting in the front row so chose the second row instead. His thinking was that we were less likely to be targeted by not sitting right at the front. However, we certainly were. Many hilarious comments were made, including Kieran being yet again accused of being something rather unpleasant. Of course, Maisie made it quite clear she was joking.

 

Friday brought an end to Josh’s little holiday with us. It had been a lot of fun having him to stay and nice for us all to get so much time together. Parts of it almost felt like old times at college, especially when Josh was sprawled out on the floor. We had several seating options but he was much happier, through choice I must stress, laying down there. By the time we were up, the second half of my family were already well on there way, already in Rotherham. Lesley took me to my doctors appointment and we popped into Morrisons on our way back. Just as we were pulling up outside the flat, another car drew up. Mum, Harley and simon had arrived. I can’t tell you how good it was to see Mum again. After her big operation, cancer diagnosis and then thankfully all clear earlier this year, it was especially hard to leave Southampton when I did, only 6 weeks after her surgery. But Mum is the strongest person I know and soldiered on. While they unloaded the car of stuff they’d bought for us, Josh told me he’d successfully booked tickets for the three of us to see Russell Howard’s new tour next June at the BIC (Bournemouth International Centre). We’d looked at the tour dates the previous night and agreed that if the ticket prices weren’t extortionate, we’d definitely go again. I voted to go down south for it, especially when we saw the date for the show was a few days after my birthday. Once Mum and Simon were ready, the four of us headed out for the Metrocentre. I said a big goodbye to Josh, who was pretty sad because he wasn’t sure when we’d see each other next. Little did he know I was going to his birthday meal the following Monday.

 

Again, the Metrocentre was great fun. We browsed quite a few shops, finding a football memorabilia shop called The Back Page which was pretty cool. We also had KFC again, which was very nice; we were a little more sensible with how much we ordered this time. As Mum gets tired quickly these days – a lasting effect of her operation – we didn’t stay nearly as long as last time. That evening, Mum, Harley, Simon, Kieran and I went to the Wetherspoons in Blyth where, a little later, Lesley joined us and showed us the way to the nearby restaurant La Casa where John and Kieran’s auntie Gill were waiting. Everyone enjoyed their food, I think, and we had a nice evening out.

 

On Saturday, John came and picked Kieran up so they could go to watch the Newcastle vs Brentford match, which made them very happy when it ended 5-1. Not long later, Mum and Simon arrived and we headed to Cramlington to do some more shopping and have some lunch. We went to B&m, Dunelm, Pets At Home and another Wetherspoons. Once we were finished, Mum and Simon dropped Harley and I back at the flat and went back to their hotel so that we could all get ready for the Shine Night Walk, a 10k walk raising money for Cancer Research UK. The walk itself was excellent. Before we started, Mum kitted us out with glow sticks in the form of bracelets, headband ears, glasses, necklaces and loops around our ankles; Harley attached one to the elastic on my cane. When you sign up, you’re given a glow in the dark t-shirt and a piece of paper to write who you’re walking for on and pin onto the t-shirt. Of course, the main person I was walking for was Mum. But I also walked for Imi’s lovely dad, Mike, who died from a rare kind of cancer earlier this year. Also, I walked for Mrs Matthews, a lovely lady who supported me in class at secondary school, who sadly passed away in 2019. Mrs Matthews was one of those incredible people who always seemed to brighten up your day. Although I only really knew her as a member of staff, I know outside school she was a lovely person too. She always used to sing or hum along to her favourite songs during art class, which was the main lesson she supported me in. She always wore lovely perfumes, too, and there was one I liked best so she always made sure she wore it on days she worked with me. She just had such an amazing spirit and it was cruel how cancer took her too, when she was only 56, leaving behind a son and two granddaughters she adored. I recently got in touch with her mum via Facebook and it was lovely to talk to her about Mrs Matthews and be able to pass on my condolences properly, even if it is nearly 3 years later. I think of her a lot, especially on sunny days when I know she’d be cheery or on down days when I know she’d know the right thing to say. I think of her whenever I see anything with butterflies on it because they were her favourite. I did this walk in the hope that one day good people like Mum won’t have to suffer and people like Mike and Mrs Matthews won’t be so cruelly taken from their families. I walked with sometimes Mum and sometimes Harley guiding me. The only time we stopped was quite near the end when I needed the toilet and Simon nipped into a shop to grab a drink. Harley took photos of all the landmarks we passed as well as each kilometre milestone marker. There were lots of lovely wardens encouraging and praising you along the way. Walking back over the bridge and across the finish line was a pretty great feeling. It was an achievement for us all but especially for Mum. We completed the walk in two and a half hours.

 

I’d expected to feel really tired and ache all over so when I woke up feeling pretty much fine on Sunday morning I was quite surprised. Mum and Simon arrived around 11 and around midday we headed for lunch at Sambuca’s. Like Dad had, Mum and Simon enjoyed our visit there in March very much and had been adamant that we go again. This time, I decided to try something different again. After Simon recommended it as being lovely from last time, I went for the belly pork roast dinner with potato skins to start. Kieran, Mum and Simon all had roast dinners as well and Harley went for pizza with Bolognese on. Simon had soup to start and Mum and Kieran went for potato skins. I enjoyed my starter but disappointingly wasn’t that keen on the roast. However, dessert made up for it. The toffee cheesecake was amazing! Although, my teeth did feel like they would rot afterwards. After we arrived back at the flat, Lesley popped in to say goodbye to everyone and we left around 3. As it was Rebecca’s birthday, Kieran celebrated with a Chinese takeaway with her that evening.

 

On our way down, I listened to music on my I’pod and then the Arsenal vs Liverpool match which ended 3-2. We stopped at Watford Gap services at about 6:40 and arrived at Mum’s at 9:30. It always feels odd going back to Southampton. There’s so many parts that still feel like home but really it’s not home at all any more. Either way, it was great to be back and staffy Suggs seemed quite excited to see me.

 

I got up early on Monday morning and lovely My Guide volunteer Jenny arrived so we could go out for a catch up walk. Since we’ve stopped working together and I moved away, Jenny and I have kept in touch by sending regular emails about what’s happening in our lives. We tried to walk our old route from Mum’s along the shore and into Woolston to Piggies café where we used to stop for a drink and sometimes a snack for me. But there were road works going on along the shore and part of the path was closed so Jenny took us a different way. We still made it to Piggies where I had my old favourite of a salted caramel milkshake and Jenny her signature small Americano with hot milk on the side; I added a bowl of chips which we shared while we chatted. We got the bus home because I was feeling a bit lazy. It was really lovely to see Jenny and I hope we can meet up again during future visits. That evening, Harley and I caught the bus into town where we met up with Nan and Grandad before catching another bus into Portswood. It was great to see Nan and Grandad again. In Portswood, we met up with Dad, Josh and Michelle and went for a meal at Trago Lounge to celebrate Josh’s birthday. Michelle had bought a chocolate cake which we all enjoyed.

 

While Harley was at college on Tuesday afternoon, Mum and I went into Woolston to get some essentials from Lidl and then decided to get some chips to share for our lunch. We got them from my old favourite fish and chips shop, Tasty Place, and discovered it has new owners as the old ones sold up after 25 years running it. Thankfully, the food was just as nice. We sat in the sunshine at the feathers, a sort of memorial garden opposite the main shopping street of Woolston. There’s bricks that people have had names engraved into making up the floor. Grandad’s family had a Lillywhite one laid and we always stop to find it any time we go there. Back at home, we watched Love Actually together. We decided to have a movie afternoon and Mum chose Love Actually because I won’t be there to watch it with her for our usual Christmas Eve tradition. I will never get bored of Love Actually. I just love the storylines and all the characters. That evening, Mum cooked the lasagne, sliced potatoes with bacon and garlic bread we’d bought from Lidl earlier. This used to be one of my favourite meals living down there. It didn’t disappoint. Harley and I watched Friday Night Dinner while we ate.

 

The next day, Uncle Dave picked me up and took me back to his house to spend the day with Auntie Clare and new puppy Teddy. Teddy is about 15 weeks old and a cross between a shih tzu and a poodle. He is a crazy, cute, energetic bundle of fur and I enjoyed having lots of cuddles throughout the day. It was lovely spending time with Auntie Clare too. Her arthritis has gotten really bad now, to the point where she only walks when she has to because it hurts so bad. The consultants have said she’ll be having a double hip replacement in the next few months. She’s relieved more than anything. Harley arrived a little after 3 and stayed for a little while. Auntie Clare drove us to Nan’s for tea and Grandad showed me their new front door with its old-fashioned knocker, decking with rails and steps, patio and garage doors. Nan cooked my favourites for dinner: mince stew and dumplings with apple crumble for pudding. It was a staple of my childhood when we went for dinner at Nan’s. Later on, I listened to Rangers vs Liverpool which was a great match where Liverpool won 7-1. Meanwhile, Mum sat on the other sofa playing games on her phone, including Talking Tom and a Disney quiz game; both had funny sound effects.

 

During the morning on Thursday Harley did their volunteering for Communicare. They are a volunteer for the Hello Southampton project where they phone clients for 10-minute chats to make sure they’re getting on ok. They have to write notes about their conversations and report any concerns. They seem to enjoy it a lot. Once they were finished, the three of us headed into town for lunch and some shopping. I treated them to Pizza Hut where Harley had the buffet, some chicken bites and a salad bowl, Mum had the chicken delight flatbread and a salad bowl and I had a Hawaiian stuffed crust pizza with added mushrooms and a salad bowl; we all had unlimited refill drinks. As always, the food was lovely. I ate so much that for the first time in ages I decided not to have a cookie dough pudding. That’s pretty much unheard of for me. Once we all felt ready, we headed for the shops so I could start early Christmas shopping. I figured if I did most of the shopping for the people in Southampton while I was visiting, I wouldn’t have to post it down to them. Once we were home, it took quite a while to sort the shopping out. I like to give each person a separate bag so I can check what I’ve got for them easier. Later, Mum and I watched some of the National Television Awards.

 

Unfortunately, Friday didn’t turn out to be quite the day we’d imagined. In the morning, Harley went out with their friend and Mum to a hospital appointment. We thought it was for tests relating to her iron deficiency. Meanwhile, I stayed at home and did some hoovering and cleaning for Mum to try and help her out a bit. Harley came home first and we both started to wonder if everything was going ok with Mum’s appointment. It was scheduled for 11 and she’d been gone for quite a while now. We put it down to delays with appointments at the hospital, which seems to be happening a lot nowadays with the extreme pressure the NHS are under. However, when Mum arrived back and Simon was with her, I started to get a bad feeling. They came into the front room and Mum just told us. Her cancer is back. She had a biopsy done a couple of weeks ago because something had shown up on her scan. She hadn’t told us because they were hoping it wasn’t anything serious. But she has a tumour in her groin. We think they’ve caught it early. But she will still need to have an operation and chemotherapy. That was the one she was hoping to avoid. Somehow, she’d coped so well with having the operation but had always dreaded the possibility of needing chemo. We don’t know in what order things are going to happen. Mum said they are moving things as fast as they can. The next step is a PET scan to check that is the only recurrence of cancer or only point of concern. Then they’ll decide on a treatment plan. I felt like the world was collapsing. When someone you love so much gets cancer, the fear is always of the worst outcome. But after Mum had the operation and eventually got the all clear, we hoped that was it. It had already been scary enough. But the idea that it might come back is a nagging thought at the back of your mind. For some reason, I’d felt something wasn’t right. I’d been texting Imi about it on Wednesday night and of course we put it down to the usual paranoia about cancer returning. Now it wasn’t just paranoia any more, it was actually happening. The worst part for me, except from my mind imagining the most horrible scenarios, was knowing I wasn’t going to be able to be there for Mum during whatever treatment she has. Last time, I was there before, whilst and after the operation. I think I helped in some way at least. But whatever physical help I did offer last time is completely out of the question now. It was a weird feeling, after all the tears had stopped, because I knew the following Monday I’d return to Blyth, Kieran and our life there, leaving all of this behind but knowing what’s to come for Mum. I want to be there to support Mum with Harley, so that Harley feels they’ve got someone there for them too. Having a parent who has cancer is so difficult to get your head around. It really does make your whole world unstable. I didn’t want to go home and for everything to go back to normal when everything has changed again for Mum. But I knew that’s what would happen.

 

I spent the rest of the afternoon led on my bed with my mind spinning while Harley was doing the same next-door and Mum was phoning the important people to tell them what was happening. It was like an out-of-body experience listening to her calmly telling people the news, listening to her talk so positively about how “it is what it is” and we just have “to take it day by day”. I felt like we should be saying those things to her, reassuring her, not the other way around. She wasn’t crying and falling apart. It makes you feel selfish and guilty for feeling that way yourself. After a few hours, we went back to trying to have a normal evening. Mum and Simon drove to our old favourite kebab van and bought us all mixed kebabs and chips to share. It’s one of the only things southern takeaways do better than up north … serving fries rather than chunky chips with kebabs. The food was lovely and we watched the rest of the NTAs and an old episode of Gogglebox.

 

By Saturday morning, everything had pretty much gone back to normal again, except it felt like there was a shadow hanging over everything. Dad picked Harley and I up at 10:45 and we went with him, Michelle and Josh into town for yet more Christmas shopping. Josh and I met up with two of our old teaching assistants who supported us in class in secondary school. It was very nice to catch up with them over a Costa. After all of the shopping was done, we went back to Dad and Michelle’s new flat because I hadn’t seen it yet. A little later, Dad drove us all to a fish and chips shop where I bought dinner for us all plus Nan, Grandad and Auntie Clare. We joined them, and Uncle Dave who was heading out for a snooker match with a friend, at Auntie Clare’s and enjoyed a very nice evening eating, chatting and fussing over fluffy Teddy. As always, it was weird saying goodbye to Nan, Grandad, Auntie Clare and Josh at the end of the night. I’ll see them all again just after Christmas, which is much sooner than the gap between my birthday and seeing them this time. But I don’t like saying goodbye at the best of times and things still felt a bit raw after Mum’s news the day before. Back at Mum’s, Harley and I listened to music while unpacking the shopping until Mum and Simon arrived home from their evening out seeing a local band perform.

 

On Sunday, Mum cooked us all, plus Simon’s daughter who was round for the day, a lovely roast chicken with roast potatoes, mash potato, cauliflower cheese, cabbage, carrots, peas and Yorkshire puddings. We had a lovely millionaire’s cheesecake for pudding. During the meal, I listened to Liverpool vs Manchester City (1-0). Later, Mum and I watched Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and Emma Willis: Delivering Babies.

 

Monday meant my last day down south again for a little while. In the morning, Harley went to college while Mum and I popped to town. Once we’d dropped our shopping off, we walked to meet Harley at the Mayfield Nurseries Sunflower Café. They’d gone there with their friend on Friday and wanted Mum and I to see what it’s like. It is very nice. Quite a chilled out atmosphere with tables inside the café and some outside under a shelter. There’s flowers, plants and fresh fruit & veg you can buy and lots of homemade food and drinks at the café. It all raises funds for a local mental health charity and all the staff at the café are volunteers. It was a lovely way to spend our afternoon, especially as the weather was nice. When we got back to Mum’s, Harley went upstairs and did some college work while Mum and I watched Master Chef Australia, The Voice, First Dates Hotel and Pointless. But then it was time for me to check I’d packed everything and bring my bag down to wait for Dad to pick me up for the airport run. Traffic was bad and he was quite late. It was a bit of a rushed goodbye to Mum and Harley, who had decided to stay behind and be with Mum. I gave them big hugs. But then I was in the car and we were rushing away so that we could get McDonald’s before I needed to be at the airport. We only just squeezed it in. We had to eat in the car and Dad started driving to the airport before I’d finished. It’s not the kind of ending I like to have. Saying goodbye to Dad at the airport was sad too. I FaceTime Mum and Harley most days up here but only speak to Dad on the phone every now and then. We message every day but it’s not quite the same. I’ve had a great couple of weeks seeing everyone. It was great to have them all come up and visit. It was strange doing the reverse journey down to Southampton in a car. The only time I’ve driven that trip was on moving day up here. I loved being able to spend so much time with everyone, with the added bonus of the spur of the moment meet-up with Imi and catch up with Jenny. Of course, Mum’s cancer recurrence does put a big cloud over the whole thing and the worry is constantly with me. She had her PET scan yesterday so now we have to wait for the results. I’m hoping with everything I have that the tumour they’ve found is the only evidence of cancer. I don’t want her to have to go through this at all but as it’s already happening please can it be as low-risk as possible. I need her. As I knew I would, I’ve fallen back into my life up here and our routines straight away. It is great to be home, back living independently with Kieran. We have a really lovely home here and I don’t ever take it for granted. Right now, though, I only wish it wasn’t so far away from Southampton, from Mum and Harley and all the appointments, treatment, tears and difficulty that’s to come. As many have said, though, I’m thankful to have all the modern technology that means I’m only a message or call away from knowing how they are. In a weird kind of way, I am glad I was there the day Mum got her news. I think, on a selfish level for me at least, it would have been a lot harder hearing it over the phone. I will be there whenever and however much I can for them all and will give them as much support as I’m able from 300 miles away. It was one of the best fortnight’s I’ve had in a long time, just containing one of the worst days I’ve had. The comedy gig with the boys, visiting Imi with Josh, all the meals out with everyone, watching Love Actually with Mum, a chilled evening with Harley and meeting up with Jenny are all highlights. I’m going to hold onto those.

 

Mum, Dad, Michelle, Simon, Harley and Josh, thank you for coming to visit us. It was great to see you again and I love my southern life connecting with my northern one.

Kieran, thanks for having all our crazy family descending on the place. I think we managed to be quite good hosts. Well, they’ve all said they’d come back, at least.

Lesley and John, for the ferrying to and from places, for Lesley’s super cleaning skills, and for just being great. You reassure my parents that I’m well looked after (their words) so I guess that’s the biggest thank you of all.

Mum, you’re the strongest person I know. I wish this wasn’t happening to you, again. For some reason, bad things always seem to happen to good people, and you’re the best. Just like last time, you’ll get through this. We are all here for you. I wish more than anything that I could be down there for you but I’m always at the other end of the phone and will be down in a heartbeat if anything happens. Which it won’t because, as Lesley so perfectly said, you can kick it’s ass again.

 

PS: thanks to Josh for the awesome notes on the first week of the reunion. I was enjoying myself too much to write things down. We had many other blog titles thought up for this one – although I forgot all of them of course – but the one I chose is a muddle of two. “Harley up” comes from when they were in the loo and I really needed to go. As not everyone knows about their chosen name, we’d been having to alternate between Harley and Tamsin all weekend. In my attempt to say “hurry up” it came out as “Harley up”. The irony being that nobody noticed when we were calling them Harley anyway. The second part comes from the Maisie Adam gig and a joke about doing online comedy gigs during lockdown.

“The pink polo shirt man and the never-ending stairs” our Sunderland experience of Ed Sheeran

Continuing from where I finished in my last post… On Thursday 2 June, after a great week visiting everyone in Southampton for the first time since I moved away in March, Mum and Simon had dropped Kieran, Harley and I off at the train station, after a cheeky McDonald’s breakfast, and we’d met up with Josh ready for our long trip up North. We caught the 10:13 southern service to London Victoria, where we managed to get a table so we could all sit together during the journey. Before I go any further, I just want to point out that some of this post is written by my good pal Josh and the fact that I’m writing this post at all is thanks to his excellent blog notes he’s written for me, even if they were 3 pages long… In the end, I never noted anything down over the Ed weekend like I usually do when we’re together; there wasn’t any particular reason for this, just that I didn’t get round to it. But Josh very kindly wrote some notes for me from what he can remember from the weekend, supplemented by Kieran and Harley’s memories too. Obviously, my memory can’t be relied on for accuracy so I haven’t even tried. So, if there’s a lot of official train-related jargon in here it’s thanks to Josh.

We had our first change in the journey at East Croydon onto the 12:31 Thameslink service to Cambridge. At 1 o’clock, we arrived at ST Pancras, right on time, and the lovely assistance staff, who were dressed up in union flags and crowns for the Jubilee, guided us to Greggs, where we’d previously agreed to grab lunch because it was the most convenient option and everyone loves a Greggs. While we were walking, the assistance lady was convinced she’d met Kieran before, helping him a week earlier. Even though we explained several times that was actually impossible as he’d been in Southampton with me and nowhere near a train, she was still certain. Seems Kieran has a twin we never knew about roaming the London railway confusing poor assistance staff.

When we reached Greggs, we were all surprised how quiet it was. Due to the Jubilee and bank holiday weekend, Josh had warned us countless times how he predicted the trains and stations to be absolutely rammed and that as well as struggling to get around, we might not find seats on the train. So far, his theory was surprisingly untrue. Josh guided Kieran and Harley took me; Josh bought a 4 pack of sausage rolls and a 4 pack of jam doughnuts; Kieran bought 2 steak bakes; Harley bought a baguette and I got a sausage roll and a pack of 4 caramel shortbreads. Once we’d bought our lunch, we headed across the road to King’s Cross, passing a percussionist and an opera singer performing to celebrate the Jubilee. Then, we split up at Platform 9&¾ where Kieran and Josh joined the long queue for the platform, trolley and sign while Harley and I went into the busy merchandise shop; the plan being that Josh expected to be stood in the queue quite a while so would save time standing in line while we browsed the shop. Surprisingly, Harley and I only spent £25 between us. They chose 2 key rings, a pen and a pencil and I got a pencil, bus pass cover and fridge magnet. As we were wandering around the shop, which was quite crowded, Josh phoned to ask how long we were going to be as they’d already got near the front of the queue. Harley and I tried to hurry as we didn’t want them to lose their place and have to start right from the back again. As we emerged from the shop, quite pleased with ourselves for only spending a small amount, a member of staff came over to us and hurried us to the front of the line and in before the other people who were waiting. It was clearly a disabled perk or “speedy borders” as Kieran’s sister Rebecca would call it and I did feel a bit bad for the people who’d been patiently waiting their turn. Harley and I posed with the prop scarves and wands they gave us and Josh took photos of us holding onto the trolley handle and pointing our wands up to the platform sign.

Afterwards, we found a bench to sit on and ate our Greggs lunch. Harley managed to splatter themselves with their fizzy drink so I held mine away from me when opening it, but it was totally normal. Harley helped Josh find the assistance desk and the assistance staff guided us onto the 14:48 Lumo service to Edinburgh Waverley. As Harley and I settled into our seats, getting comfy in preparation for the 3 hour journey, some rather irritated passengers informed us we were in their seats. We explained that they must be mistaken because assistance staff had sat us in these seats. However, when they told us which seats we were in, it turned out they were right; the assistance staff had sat us in the wrong place. Thankfully, they decided to just sit in our seats in the row ahead. Josh and Kieran were sat a few rows behind so we couldn’t chat. But by Darlington we’d all got bored and all started texting each other funny messages, laughing out loud when we heard each other’s text tones going off.

We arrived into Morpeth right on schedule and Rebecca was there to collect us as arranged. She drove us back to our flat and not long after we’d got in, Imi text to say they were on their way. Her carer, Lauren, was doing the driving for her and assistance dog Sam. We were all very excited to see them. It had been 2 and a half years since Josh and I last saw her, 4 years for Kieran and 7 for Harley so a reunion really was overdue. When she arrived, there were big hugs all round, including Sam. When we’d been arranging the weekend, I’d assumed that Coco, my lovely cat who’s now getting on in age a bit, would be ok with Sam’s presence in the flat for a few days. However, it was soon clear this wasn’t the case. She hid under the coffee table in the corner of the living room and hissed menacingly at Sam, who just wanted to make friends. As Imi has Lucy the cat, Sam is very good around cats and everything would have been fine if Coco wasn’t such a grumpy cow. Sadly, her experience with dogs hasn’t been particularly pleasant. When we first brought her home, we had Tolly, the lovely little fluffy dog who Coco became friends with instantly. They used to share a bed and happily cuddle up together. After she died in 2012, Coco had a break but was then hassled by Marley, who bounded into everyone’s lives in 2015. Marley was a handful and terrible with cats. Sadly, he wasn’t with us long and from mid 2016 to early 2017, Coco was given another break. My Zena came next. Thankfully, she was pretty chilled out around cats but Coco had lost trust in dogs in general by that point and actively ignored her. Again, Zena wasn’t with us very long either. After that, I think Coco thought we wouldn’t subject her to any more canine residents. Unfortunately, she didn’t bet on Suggs, who came crashing into the household in October 2021. Suggs was worse than Marley and actively terrorised Coco. Before Suggs arrived, my plan was to leave Coco with Mum when I moved. She’d lived in that house her whole life and was happily settled there. Harley gave her a lot of attention so I didn’t think she’d miss me that much, even though she was primarily my cat. But then Suggs made her life pretty miserable and I didn’t feel comfortable leaving her behind with him there. Thankfully, she’s settled pretty well in the flat and despite always being an outdoor cat before, doesn’t seem bothered that she can’t go outside now. However, despite Sam’s best efforts to make friends, Coco’s hostility remained for Imi’s entire stay, escalating to growling both at Sam and Imi herself. I’d never heard a cat growl like that before and hope I don’t again. I hoped that as Sam was in the flat a couple of days, Coco would soon realise she wasn’t a threat. But it wasn’t to be. As I said to Imi, I think if they’d stayed longer or visited regularly, Coco would relax with time.

Once all the greetings were exchanged, Imi and Kieran decided they wanted to give me the belated birthday presents they had for me. As we’d been down in Southampton for my birthday, I hadnt seen any point in Kieran taking his presents down with him or Imi posting hers just for us to bring them back up again. It was something extra to look forward to as well. Kieran was very naughty and bought me the Colorino colour detector from the RNIB, which is very expensive but very good at differentiating colours. I’d had one whilst at college and it’d helped me massively when sorting my washing into lights and darks. It had broken a few years ago and I couldn’t justify the price of buying a replacement so had bought a cheaper less reliable version that hadnt been doing a very good job since I moved up here and needed to sort laundry regularly. Safe to say, now I’ve used it several times, the Colorino is still much more accurate. Kieran also bought me a soup maker as I’d said several times how I’d like to be able to make soups and smoothies. I’m yet to try that as some of the controls aren’t physical buttons. Kieran also had a gift bag of presents from his parents, containing a pair of slippers — because I’d desperately needed a pair to leave at theirs for when we visit instead of trying to remember to take some with me — and some lovely bath products, as while our shower had been broken I’d discovered how much I do like a bath, even if I’m not really supposed to have one due to my epilepsy. Kieran asked Lesley to get me some for when I have my sneaky illegal baths every now and then. Imi’s presents were lovely too. She added to my collection of fidget toys with a wiggly slug called Howard, who Harley had lots of fun fiddling with for the rest of the weekend; some lovely wax melts to go in my electric wax burner as I’ve become a bit obsessed with it; and a very fluffy Build A Bear niffler. Recently, Build A Bear have released cuddly toys from the Fantastic Beasts movies and the best one has to be the niffler. Now named Edward by Imi, my big fluffy niffler sits by my pillow on our bed, holding onto both his golden galleon coins, with mini niffler Teddy, who was my birthday gift from Harley, sat beside him. After I’d finished admiring my lovely presents and thanked them both lots for buying such thoughtful things, we all agreed we were quite hungry so decided to order food; Dominoes was chosen. Josh and Imi were “basic bitches” – his words, not mine – and had margarita each; I had a Hawaiian; Harley had a create your own with chicken, meatballs and garlic spread; Kieran had a meat feast. We took advantage of the Jubilee deal Dominoes had on, which gave you 2 medium pizzas, 2 sides and a portion of cookies for less than £25, so all we had to order extra was a 5th pizza. We agreed on potato wedges, 2 portions of cheesy garlic dough balls and garlic dippers. The food was as always lovely, although I thought my pizza base had lost some of its sauce along the way. In the end, we were up talking until 2am, eating leftover sides and cookies as we chatted.

The following morning, we got up around 10. In preparation for the concert that night, we listened to Masie Peters – one of the acts supporting Ed Sheeran on tour – 2021 debut album You Signed Up For This. I’d only heard it once before and had vague recollections of thinking it was good. Some of the songs were quite catchy and I was hopeful I’d enjoy her live. We agreed on McDonald’s for lunch/dinner that day. We were eating before the concert because it would be far too late afterwards and we didn’t want to be hungry during. Josh had a cheese burger and chips and was disappointed they didn’t have milkshakes on the delivery menu; Imi had a fillet of fish and chips; Harley had a cheese burger, 9 nuggets and chips; Kieran had a double cheese burger with added bacon and chips; I had a cheese burger, 6 nuggets and chips; we got a sharing box of the new cheesy garlic dippers between us. The food was very nice, especially as the app gave you the option to customise your burger, like you can at the self-service machines when you eat in, which pleased Harley and I very much because we’re always quite fussy with ours.

As arranged, Lauren, Rebecca and her boyfriend Dave arrived around 4pm and we were on our way to Sunderland by 4:15, Josh and Kieran in Rebecca’s car and Harley and I with Imi. Rebecca and Lauren parked in different car parks so they arrived at the Stadium of Light around 5:30 and us 15 minutes later. When we met up with them, we encountered the rudest steward I’ve ever met. We requested assistance to help us get to our seats, which we’re more than entitled to, and were at first told he had no staff available to help us. There was plenty of staff around. He then tried to tell us that in order to have someone guide us to our seats we should have booked a carer’s ticket so someone could take us. This, again, is untrue. Eventually, after many heated debates, with Rebecca being our quite forceful disabled advocate backed up by Lauren, the man eventually allowed Rebecca to take us all in. Lauren left with Sam because Imi was worried she’d get crushed as the stadium started to fill with people. The fact that he let Rebecca take us to our seats was almost as ridiculous as him suggesting that as disabled people we had to have a paid carer’s ticket in order to attend the show. Nobody came to check whether Rebecca had left the stadium after helping us so she could have quite easily stayed for free. Because of his arrogance and ignorance, we weren’t actually safely sat in our seats until after Dylan, the first support act, had started her set. Personally, I didn’t really enjoy either Dylan or Maisie Peters. As I’d quite liked her album earlier, I’d been hopeful I’d enjoy Maisie live. I don’t know if it’s just how she sounds live, the sound equipment she used or the fact that the stadium was still pretty empty while she was performing, but I just didn’t think she sounded good. Thankfully, the boys enjoyed both support acts. Of course, the main act lived up to and massively exceeded expectations. Josh, Kieran and I had been worried beforehand that because he’d been so great at St James’s when we saw him live 4 years ago, we could be disappointed if this time wasn’t as great. But I’d go as far as to say it was better!. At the start, we all said the songs we’d most love to hear him play and somehow we all got at least one of our choices. The whole set list was just incredible and I think we did a pretty good job of making Harley’s first ever concert a great one. We were all singing along at the tops of our voices and Harley got plenty of photos and videos so we have physical evidence to support our memories. The cost of the tickets was yet again well worth it.

Of course, we could have sat there all night singing along if he’d played that long, but when Ed’s performance did sadly come to an end, we sat where we were for quite a while, letting the stadium empty out so that hopefully it wouldn’t be quite so crowded as we tried to leave. Once we were with Rebecca, Dave and Lauren, the boys went with them while Harley and I followed Laure, who’d reunited a very relieved Sam with Imi. On our way out, Imi felt quite ill so we stopped for a while. A very interfering drunk woman, who claimed she was a nurse, wouldn’t take our word for it that Imi would be ok in a few minutes and to let Lauren do her job and look after her. She repeatedly asked Lauren if she was medically trained and wouldn’t take Lauren’s assurance that she was. In the end, the three of us had to be quite forceful in telling her to get lost because she was really upsetting Imi. Eventually, she buggered off and once Imi was sure she felt well enough to move, we slowly made our way back to her car.

Once we were all back at the flat, we talked for a little while before heading to bed. Coco had hidden under the coffee table in the living room again but somehow Kieran and Harley managed to herd her into the kitchen while Imi used the bathroom.

On Saturday morning, despite saying we’d get up at 9 and possibly go for a walk on the beach, we dragged ourselves out of bed around 9:30 and were completely exhausted; going for a walk anywhere wasn’t an option. Kieran cooked breakfast of sausage, bacon and hash browns for himself and Imi; Josh decided to eat his jam doughnuts from Thursday’s train journey for his; Harley made pasta with garlic mayo, ham and cheese in for the two of us. It was pretty nice. Far too soon, at around 12:30 Lauren arrived to collect Imi and Sam to drive them home. We all hugged very tight and vowed we wouldn’t let it be so long until we saw each other next time. After Imi left, Josh and Harley took a little wander to the nearby Tesco Express to buy themselves snacks and drinks for their train trip home the following day. Unlike ours on Thursday, they wouldn’t have time to stop and get a meal at the station. Once they were back, we just chilled in the living room for the rest of the afternoon. We put the England vs Hungary football match on but it was rubbish (0-1). Then, we introduced Josh to Naked Attraction with audio description on. I have to add here, as Naked Attraction was also watched in my last post, that we only watch it because the audio description is funny, not because we’re interested in the show. After we’d had a bit of fun watching that, we watched Russell Howard’s Right Here Right Now live show; he always manages to make me laugh loads. When we all decided we were hungry, we chose yet another takeaway option for our tea. Well why not? It was a treat weekend. Anyway, I don’t think Kieran or I are quite up to cooking at the standard that’s required for guests yet. Josh had a jumbo sausage and chips; Kieran had a mixed wrap, chips and Smokey sausage; I had a cheesy chips wrap with curry sauce and a jumbo sausage; Harley had chicken nuggets and chips. Trying a wrap full of cheesy chips and curry sauce was a first for me. When I’d chosen the wrap and it’d asked for choice of sauce, as usual we hadn’t been sure whether that meant the sauce would come in a pot on the side or in the wrap itself. At first, I was a bit dubious on finding the sauce in the wrap whether it’d be nice or not. Turns out it’s lovely and definitely something I’d like to have again. Although, the strangest thing about that takeaway’s menu is that when you order a cheesy chips wrap, you have to have it with either salad or chips; there’s no option to have none. As someone who isn’t a salad fan, I had to pick chips. I think it’s a shame they don’t just have a none option. Obviously, it’s necessary for other wraps that don’t contain chips but was a bit of a waste of food with mine. We then watched the Jubilee Platinum Party, which wasn’t that great.

Since we’d first started talking about me moving to live with Kieran, something Harley was hoping to have if they came to visit was a takeaway pudding. Kieran introduced me to a takeaway pudding place, Buzz Bar, that has now closed down on one of my many stays at Lesley and John’s. It instantly became something I loved. I’ve always been a pudding person and discovering there were places that just delivered puddings was quite a revelation. After Buzz Bar shut down, we tried a different pudding place, Movie Foods, and found it was also lovely. When the Ed tickets were booked and we knew everyone would be staying at the flat with us, I promised Harley we’d get a takeaway pudding one of the nights they were here. So we did. Josh had the Cadbury’s collection cookie dough; Kieran had a lotus biscoff milkshake with extra biscoff, a chocolate fudge cake and a slice of school cake for later; Harley had a reese’s pieces peanut butter milkshake with added kitkat, oreo loaded doughnuts and a kinder cookie dough box with added aero bubbles, Cadbury whispa, oreo crumbs and white chocolate sauce (they saved the doughnuts for later); I had a reese’s pieces peanut milkshake plus extra reese’s, a create your own cookie dough that had Belgian white chocolate, caramel sauce, marshmallows and oreo crumbs on it and a milky bar button cheesecake for the following day. Safe to say after that we were all very full. It was worth it though.

As Harley and Josh needed to be at the station for their train which was scheduled to leave at 12:03, we decided to get up at 8 on Sunday morning. Kieran cooked Harley sausage, hash browns and beans but Josh didn’t want anything. Josh checked on their train just before 11 and found it hadn’t departed yet and then there was a long delay. For quite some time, Josh and Kieran were looking into options to get them home. At one point, we were seriously considering the possibility that they’d have to stay an extra night because all the other available trains were full. Thankfully, their original train eventually departed Edinburgh so Rebecca and David came to take them to the station. In the end, their train departed Morpeth at 14:17 with them stressed but safely onboard. Two hours later than planned, Harley and Josh arrived into Southampton Central, a relief for us all.

Apart from the assistance staff putting Harley and I in the wrong seats on our journey up, the idiotic steward at the stadium being completely out of order, Imi sadly being poorly after the concert and the stressful couple of hours when we weren’t sure whether Harley and Josh were going to be able to get home, we really did have an amazing few days. Getting the 4 of us together doesn’t happen very often and it was made even better by having Harley with us. I miss my tiny sister a lot and every time I see them I’m reminded that they really aren’t little any more, even if they will always be a small person to me. They’re turning into an adult and that is so strange for me. It won’t be long before it’s them in their own car collecting Kieran and I from the airport when we go down to visit. It only seems like yesterday that they were starting school in Nan’s knitted jumpers with the school badge sewn on because even the smallest size school uniform was far too big. Yet they’re about to finish their first year at college and considering finding a summer job. I really don’t know where time goes. But it was so great to take them to their first ever concert. Having a few days with us all together was just so nice and I really hope we keep our promise of not letting it be so long until we do it again.

Big thanks for all your help to Rebecca, Dave and Lauren, especially when that steward was being a proper twat; I think you should go into disabled advocacy, Rebecca, because I don’t think anyone would dare discriminate against anyone after you’d finished with them. Lots of thanks to Josh, who booked the concert tickets and as always took control of the train journeys and made them a success, but especially for making sure Harley got home safe. Thank you, Imi, for being brave and coming to see us. You’ve had the toughest year this year and I’m so glad you felt you were able to come. It wouldn’t have been the same without you and it was so good to spend time with you at last, and of course have lots of cuddles with lovely Sam. But most of all, to all 4 of you for the best weekend I think any of us have had in a long time. I’m so glad we decided to book tickets to Ed and that you 3 could come and stay at the flat with Kieran and I. Come back soon! Although that’s not an invite to come every weekend, Josh…

PS: Imi suggested the blog title this time. When I eventually got around to thinking about writing a post for this weekend, I couldn’t remember a single line we’d said, except “Fucking Ed Sheeran” in memory of Imi’s lovely dad Mike, who sadly passed away far too soon at the beginning of this year. As much as I would have liked to use that, I thought it was going a little too far. As well as the one I’ve chosen, Imi had these suggestions: “4 blind people and a them take on the stadium of shite”, “my bad habits lead to maccies”, “Edding out”, “who the fuck is Dylan”, “Josh who could pass as a butch woman”, “scoffing the Queen’s Dominoes meal deal”, “Sam v Coco and the unresolved conflict”, “shivers me timbers” and “the pyro was so good I could see it”. However, I went for “pink polo shirt man and the never-ending stairs” to represent the crazy drunk man who was sat nearby us during the show. Several times he fell over, perhaps in his excitement for the show. Each time we went to the loo or when we entered and left the show, those stairs really did feel never-ending. My favourite was definitely “4 blind people and a them take on the stadium of shite” but although my only readers are the women in Kieran’s family Kieran himself, Josh and Harley, I didn’t want some random person to stumble across it and complain because they thought I was being ableist, homophobic or swearing. But it definitely was the funniest and pretty much sums up the weekend perfectly.

“Well you’ll definitely get that, Greggs take anyone”

In March, I moved from Southampton to Blyth to live with Kieran. He and his parents had been renovating the flat left in their family after his great-grandma passed away a few years ago. At the time, it had a wet room for a bathroom and they decided needed a lot of work doing to it. John did the majority of it and everyone has agreed it looks lovely. It’s definitely very nice to live in and I feel I’ve mostly adjusted well to living up here. It’s definitely been strange living so far away from all my family. Before I left, Grandad John’s health had started to go rapidly down hill. He’s 83 today and has done incredibly well to stay quite healthy in his senior years, especially considering he had prostate cancer in 2015. Grandad has always been the head of the family, loved and admired by us all. He’s just such a great man. But age is slowly taking away the Grandad we know him as. We think dementia is taking hold, his hearing is deteriorating and he doesn’t interact much any more. These days, if you want a good conversation with Grandad, you have to start and keep it going. He still loves talking to us and you can tell is so happy when someone starts chatting to him, but he just doesn’t get involved any more. At family gatherings, he used to be centre of the conversation, chatting to everyone. Nowadays, he just sits in a corner, observing and taking it all in, with the odd comment every now and then. That made leaving that little bit harder. It’s a horribly clear reminder that he is getting older and isn’t going to be around for ever. Nan Marg and Grandad John, Dad’s parents, played a massive role in my childhood — they pretty much helped raise me. While Mum and Dad were out working, unable to do the childcare, Nan and Grandad took it on gladly. Nan has told me so many times how she’s so happy that she’s been so involved in her grandchildren’s lives. So am I. They’ve been the best grandparents. But they’re not getting any younger and things are difficult for them at the moment, for Grandad because he can see Hes changing and for Nan because she’s having to look after him more and more. I used to spend every Wednesday with them and I miss those days. But I know I am really lucky to have had so many with them. Saying goodbye in March was hard; we all went out for a meal the evening before we travelled up here and I was so glad we spent it all together. Even before I moved, we’d already agreed my first visit back. I was to travel down sometime at the end of May to spend my birthday with them. It was nice, as we drove away that Saturday morning, to know I had a fixed point when I’d be seeing everyone again. I think it was a comfort, especially for my first few weeks up here while I settled.

So, 2 weeks ago, it was time to make that planned trip back down south. Kieran and I had booked our plane tickets some time before, trying to get the best price we could. Like everything else, flight prices have increased a lot. On Wednesday 25th May around 4pm, after Kieran had finished work for the day, Lesley arrived to take us to the airport for our flight down. Once there, we had to wait a little while for assistance to arrive but they soon came and took us through security, where I even had to take off my shoes to walk through the security scanner, because boots aren’t allowed. We sat in departures a while and then, when we boarded, we found they’d boarded the rest of the passengers before the special assistance passengers, which explained our wait. This meant that the plane was dlayed taking off. It was a smooth flight and somehow we landed 2 minutes early in Southampton. During the flight, I’d listened to my music, only pausing to accept the complimentary water, shortbread and caramel wafer, feeling suddenly strange about going down. It was weird that it was finally happening. After so long of looking forward to seeing everyone again, I was actually on my way to doing just that. In reality, 11 weeks isnt long at all. but it had seemed long. In another way, though, the time seemed to have flown by.

as we departed the plane, the lovely assistance lady, Alison, whos helped us on many occasions before was there to greet us. she remembered me well, even knowing to ask if I was coming back to visit as I’d told i was planning to move to live with Kieran earlier in the year. in arrivals, my tiny little sister — obviously not tiny at all any more — was waiting excitedly to meet us. i hugged them so tight. note: T is now using they/them pronouns and going by the name Harley. they’ve explained this to Mum but shes not quite ready to call them Harley yet. Kieran and I are doing our best to support their wishes. harley had been the name Mum and Dad had chosen for them before they were born, when I thought I was having a little brother. strangely, it kinda suits them. My brain still thinks Tamsin sometimes and it’s strange calling them Harley between ourselves and to them but Tamsin to people they haven’t explained to. all in good time, hopefully. Harley guided us out of the airport to the car where Dad was waiting. it was so good to see them both again. as Kieran and I hadnt eaten and Dad had time, we headed to the mcdonalds in Eastleigh for some dinner. Harley and I ordered at the self-service machine while Dad and Kieran found a table. Kieran had the McSpicy vmeal with a coke; I had a double cheese burger and fries; Dad had a large fries and a large latte; Harley had a flake McFlurrie and a coke 0; Harley and I shared 6 chicken nuggets and bought a portion of the new cheesy garlic bites which we all shared and agreed were lovely. Afterwards, we headed to the hospital to pick Dad’s girlfriend Michelle up from work. Dad dropped the 3 of us back at Mum’s house before they went home themselves.

when I’d originally planned this trip, it had obviously been with the intention of going back to Southampton how it normally was and seeing everyone as I usually would. however, Mum’ partner Simon had surprised her with a holiday away to Benidorm with his brother and sister-in-law. It was a treat for her after the year she’s had, including all the worry as she had tests to see what the problem was, the complex operation, finding out it was cancer and then the recovery that has followed. when he’d booked it, he hadn’t realised he’d not only booked it during my visit but over my birthday too. Mum was very excited about going on holiday — it was her first since going to Greece in 2019 with Harley and Dad — but was disappointed and apologetic about missing my birthday. To begin with, I’d been pretty gutted; it’s quite childish but I haven’t spent a birthday without Mum yet. To get to 25 and manage that is quite unusual, I think, and not really a big deal. To be honest, I think I was more disappointed that Mum wasn’t going to be there for my whole visit, instead only 2 days out of the week I was down. So arriving back to what had been my home since I was a toddler for the first time after moving away was bittersweet. It felt very strange to be there, even with staffy dog Suggs enthusiastic welcome. It was very nice to discover that although he is still 100% bonkers, Suggs behaviour has improved a lot. He was instantly besotted in Kieran, who had found himself a new shadow who was very excited to have someone to play with. he brought Kieran his favourite ball and they spent some time playing out in the back garden, Kieran doing his best to tire Suggs out, something nobody has yet achieved.

everyone had a long lie in on Thursday morning before Harley had to go to their afternoon class. Kieran spent the afternoon going through Mum & Dad’s CD collection, some of which Dad had left behind when he’d moved out, and copying the ones he wanted onto his laptop. At around 4pm, Harley arrived back from college, driven by Auntie Clare who’d come to see me with Nan and Grandad. It was so good to see them all and lots of hugs were exchanged. While we were all chatting, Harley answered a knock to the door which turned out to be the lovely Jenny who’d popped by to say hello and drop off a birhtday card for me. It was such a nice surprise to see her and next time I go down I’ll try and set aside some time so we can go for a coffee and a catch up. Jenny and I email regularly and I enjoy keeping in touch with her. She helped me so much in Southampton and I wishe I could transport her to Blyth to do the same.

after everyone left, the three of us got ready and got the bus into town to meet up with Josh. We’d arranged to meet for dinner at Pizza Hut. We’d agreed we’d meet up anyway but Josh had a 5 years of service meal offer from work and Kieran had the meerkat meals discount to use. Therefore, as it was on the list of options for the discount and always somewhere we love, we’d agreed on Pizza Hut. Josh had up to the value of £50 to spend that work would reimburse if he kept his receipt. As Kieran’s meerkat meals offer is 2 for 1 on everything except deals and sharing dishes, we pretty much had the pick of anything and didn’t need to worry about the price, which obviously meant we took full advantage.when we were seated and the waitress took our order, she said she recognised me and Kieran. It turns out she was the waitress in the Hedge End branch of Pizza Hut, now closed down, that served Kieran and I on our very first date night. Kieran and I remember her too because her service was excellent, especially as she adapted to our needs effortlessly, to the point where you wouldn’t even notice the difference. At the time, we’d nicknamed her Clare, not actually knowing her real name but deciding she suits a Clare. I spent the whole evening trying to pluck up the courage to ask what her actual name is but didn’t manage it. If she ever serves us again, I’ll make sure to find out. Yet again though, Clare, thank you for being amazing. Your service was faultless and it was lovely to have you again. She made funny little comments to Harley; like when we ordered refill drinks and salad bowls, she teasingly said to them: “I suppose that’s up to you to sort out then”. Sometimes, people are so afraid to make jokes about disability because they’re worried of the response. Some people are very defensive about their condition and wouldn’t appreciate a funny comment, however innocent the intention, because they see it as the person making fun of and being offensive about them. To be honest, if the joke is lighthearted and made without malice I don’t really see the problem. I’d even go as far to say that sometimes it makes the occasion more enjoyable. Because *Clare knew it was ok to joke around with us it made our experience more relaxed. We knew we didn’t need to worry about any discrimination or accessibility for this outing. It’s really nice to have that feeling and lovely that she remembered Kieran and I so well too and seemed genuinely interested to hear how we were. In keeping with our plan to take full advantage of the discount, I think we all ordered as much as we could. Harley and I had salad bowls; everyone except Kieran, who had beer, had refill drinks; we shared chips and cheesy garlic bread; Kieran had a stuffed crust spicy meat feast pizza with chicken wings; Josh had a pepperoni stuffed crust pizza; Harley had macaroni cheese, chicken bites and a chocolate cookie dough; I went for a Hawaiian pizza with added mushrooms and a white chocolate salted caramel cookie dough. Safe to say we were all absolutely stuffed and the bill exceeded Josh’s £50 gift. If we hadn’t had Kieran’s meerkat deal it would have been double. I’d like to say we would have been less greedy if we hadn’t had both of these but I’m not sure.

Feeling very full, we headed for the bus stop. Wehn our bus came, we said goodbye to Josh, who’d let it slip that he was coming to my birthday meal on Sunday. As we got on and I tried to pay, I struggled to find the contactless pad to first use my buspass and then my bank card. Not only did the driver not try to help me, she then let another woman boarding the bus after us barge past and pay while I was still floundering. We were stood in a line of three — Harley then me then Kieran — so the other passenger had to push passed all of us to get by. It was really disrespectful of the driver and rude of the other woman. Harley was absolutely seething about it and we discussed it for quite a while after we arrived home.

After Harley returned home from their morning lesson at college on Friday, the three of us went on the bus into Woolston. I wanted to get a few bits and pieces for the house and we were going to Nan and Grandad’s later for dinner. I suggested to Harley and Kieran that we go to Woolston a bit earlier than planned and I’d treat them to a Subway. It was a gorgeous hot day and just right for a Subway; plus, it’d been ages since I’d had one. Everyone agreed. Once in Woolston, we went into Lidl first and got the bits we needed. Then, we headed for Subway. Kieran had a hearty Italian meatball marinara with jalapeños, a chocolate chip cookie and a Mountain Dew; Harley had a hearty Italian with chicken, ham, crispy onions and sweet onion sauce, a chocolate chip cookie and pepsi; i had nachos with meatballs, a peach iced tea and a lemon cookie, which was new; I got a portion of hash browns and potato wedges for us to share. The food was lovely. While we’d been ordering our food, my phone had rang but I’d ignored it. I realised I had a voicemail and found it was from the recruitment team at Greggs, offering me an interview for the role I’d applied for a week or so earlier. No, the role isn’t serving customers in the bakeries, obviously. It’s working in their head office answering complaints and queries via telephone, email, web chat and social media. When I’d applied, it had actually been one of the few I hoped I’d get an interview for. Unusually, it didn’t ask for experience I don’t have and I thought I’d actually be able to complete all the necessary tasks. I decided not to phone them back in Subway but told Harley and Kieran what the call was for. They were both pleased but Harley’s response is the reason for this post’s title. In their attempt to congratulate me on getting an interview and refering to previous interviews I’ve been unsuccessful in, they said: “Well you’ll definitely get this one, Greggs take anyone”. As soon as they realised what they’d said, we all laughed about it. Obviously, they didn’t mean it how it sounded and were just trying to be positive for me. But as phrases for possible blog titles go, it’s a pretty good one.

Once we’d finished our food, we caught the bus up to Nan and Grandad’s where they were just arriving back with Auntie Clare from Grandad’s hair cut and Nan’s 4th covid vaccination. While Kieran sat out in the lovely sunny garden chatting to everyone, Harley and I popped round to the nearby convenience shop so I could buy the items Lidl hadn’t had that we needed. Then, we all sat out in the garden enjoying the sunny weather. A little while later, Dad arrived from work and Auntie Clare was persuaded to stay for dinner too. We all had curry with naan bread. As requested, Nan had made her amazing apple crumble for pudding. I’d joked that I wouldn’t come for dinner when I visited if she didn’t make it. It didn’t disappoint. In fact, I think I could have eaten the whole lot had she let me. We spent the rest of the evening at home watching Gogglebox.

We spent Saturday with Dad and Michelle in town. We went into West Quay where Dad, Michelle and Kieran got Costa. Meanwhile, Harley and I went to see the Eastleigh Guide Dogs fundraising group who were set up trying to attract donations. David, who I’ve met several times before, had messaged the night before to say they’d be there if I wanted to pop by and say hello. It was lovely to see him again and make a big fuss of Winston, his curly coat retriever withdrawn guide dog who helps catch people’s attention. Afterwards, we all went to Apple as one of Kieran’s airpods wasn’t working properly. As there was going to be quite a wait, Harley and I headed off to do some of the shopping: Lush, Primark, Savers two crystal shops and Shoe Zone. While we were doing that, the other three went to Asda and then Hinds jeweller’s where Kieran was able to get his engagement ring reshaped. It hadn’t been round for quite some time. We all met up and went to Poppins, Dad’s favourite place, for lunch. Dad had his usual brunch with beans, Michelle had a salad and Kieran, Harley and I made up our own breakfasts. After, Dad and Kieran went to HMV while Michelle, Harley and I went to Pound Land. While Harley and I were in Card Factory, Michelle bought Dad a vape. Before I’d moved away, he’d decided to quit smoking and had been doing quite well for a while. In a bid to save him money and stop him smoking actual cigarettes, Michelle decided he should try a vape. It was certainly a funny novelty that afternoon, especially because he was calling it his “puff puff”, but he seems to have stuck with it since, maybe because of the cola, caramel latte and cappuccino liquids he chose for it or maybe because it’s saving him money. Either way, it’s better for him than the amount of cigarettes he was smoking each day.

Dad dropped us home and Harley spent the rest of the afternoon tidying their room while Kieran and I listened to music and I sorted out my shopping. At around 5 o’clock, while Kieran was out in the garden playing with Suggs, the Disney boat’s horn went off. I’d first heard it a couple of years ago when it had first come to Southampton. I looked forward to hearing it from my room whenever it was in because it could always make you smile. It had been around a few days before I’d left and I remember thinking that I’d miss it’s little tune. Mum and I used to call to each other from whichever room we were in that we could hear it. It made me smile to hear it again and I’ve since found a video of it someone has posted on YouTube.

At around 6:45, Dad and Michelle picked us up and we all went to Nan and Grandad’s so we could watch the Champion’s League final between Liverpool vs Real Madrid together. Nan did a little buffet of crisps and dip, cheesy savouries, marshmallows & maltesers, egg or ham sandwiches, chicken goujons, duck spring rolls, Greggs sausage rolls and breaded cheesy bites. The food was lovely and it was nice for us all to spend the evening together. Unfortunately, the football wasn’t so good; kickoff was delayed by half an hour because of problems outside the ground when fans were trying to get in and it wasn’t being handled very well. Liverpool lost 1-0.

As Mum wasn’t there to uphold our usual traditions of everyone gets up at a sensible time on their birthday, on Sunday morning we got up around 10. Kieran went downstairs and put the Stevie Wonder birthday song on the CD player, so that tradition continued. Once we were all showered, we FaceTimed Mum so that I could open her presents. I was as always very spoilt by her and Harley. I also opened the other cards there for me, including those from Kieran’s family we’d bought down with us, and found that I had a Costa voucher in my email InBox from Jenny.

At 1:15, Dad and Michelle arrived to take us out for my sort of surprise birthday meal. It had meant to be a complete surprise — all I was supposed to know was that I was seeing everyone on my birthday — but Dad had let slip that we were all going for a meal. Luckily, he hadn’t told me where we were going and nobody else had either. It was The Hut, our nearby Beefeater, which I’d enjoyed going to many times before. There to meet us were Josh, Nan, Grandad, Auntie Clare and Uncle Dave. Once we’d sat down, I opened more gifts from everyone else and was again very spoilt. Unfortunately, the service and quality of The Hut wasn’t at the standard we’d been expecting. There were quite a few things missing from the menu, which meant people had to find alternatives to what they’d actually fancied, and some of the meals weren’t particularly enjoyable. The service itself was also very slow. Kieran had calamari as a starter, the chicken melt for his main and a sticky toffee pudding; I had potato dippers, the chicken melt and a peanut butter and banana sundae; Harley had potato dippers, lasagne and a mini sundae; Josh had lasagne and a triple chocolate brownie; Dad had potato dippers and the chicken melt; Michelle had a prawn cocktail and lasagne; Uncle Dave had chicken goujons and a mixed grill; Auntie Clare had a prawn cocktail and a lasagne; Nan had roast lamb; Grandad had a prawn cocktail and a small steak & mash. Originally, Grandad had wanted roast chicken, Kieran chose fish & chips and chicken wings and Nan ordered steak & ale pie but these were all unavailable. Kieran, Dad and I agreed there wasn’t enough of the toppings and sauce on our chicken melts; Harley and Michelle said there lasagne was watery. So overall, a pretty disappointing meal. Despite that, it was lovely to be with everyone. Auntie Clare had also brought a birthday cake, a slice of which I somehow managed to squeeze in. The worst part of it all, of course, was saying goodbye to everyone. As we left the restaurant, I had to say goodbye to Nan, Grandad, Auntie Clare and Uncle Dave, who I wouldn’t be seeing any more while I was down. Then, when he dropped us home, I had to say a big goodbye to Dad as I wouldn’t see him again until next time. As time passes, I hope the goodbyes will get easier.

I spent the rest of my birthday watching The Chase and Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone, which was obviously a very good ending to the day in my opinion.

For breakfast the following morning, Harley showed me how to use my new bagel slicer, a requested birthday present from Mum as I’d been struggling to cut in half the bagels I’d bought at home. Turns out it is of course simple. While I ate my first self-sliced bagel, Kieran had a crumpet. Harley and I spent the day tidying and cleaning so that the house was presentable ready for Mum coming home in the early hours of the morning. Once everything was done, the three of us headed into town on the bus as Kieran had promised to buy Harley dinner at Ed’s, somewhere they love going. On the way, I had a quick look in Schuh to see if I could find any nice Converses to buy with Mum’s birthday voucher, but didn’t get any. At Ed’s, Kieran had hot wings, a Coney Island hot dog, chips and beer; Harley had chicken tenders, cheese & bacon loaded fries and a banana milkshake; I had chicken tenders, halloumi fries, waffle fries and the Go Bananas (peanut butter, banana and caramel sauce) milkshake. We enjoyed our meals, and the milkshakes were of course faultless, but Harley and I agreed that the chicken tenders weren’t as nice as they used to be. Also, we’d had to complain about Harley’s loaded fries as they’d arrived stone cold. As we were sitting there, we discovered they’d ran out of gravy, gherkins and nachos and by the time we left there was a 30 minute wait for a table because the chef had gone home ill.

On the way back to the bus stop to go home, we stopped at Costa so I could use Jenny’s birthday gift voucher and also take advantage of the free cake because it was my birthday Costa Club offer. Unfortunately, when I tried to pay, the till wouldn’t accept either voucher, meaning I paid in full for the lot. To add to my annoyance, my white hot chocolate with coconut milk seemed to be missing the chocolate part and was just hot coconut milk. Thankfully, Kieran enjoyed his iced Frappuccino and Harley their berry cooler. I’d also bought Kieran and I biscoff rocky roads, which we enjoyed later.

That evening, when she arrived at the airport, Mum phoned Harley to say her flight had been delayed. We’d all been a bit nervous this would happen given all the delays and cancellations on flights over the last few days. Mum promised to keep us up-to-date and Kieran kept an eye on the departure board online. Once they’d finally departed, Kieran checked their plane every now and then on his flight tracker app. We watched Hebburn for the rest of the evening and every now and then Kieran would freak me out with a little fact about Mum’s flight, like how many thousand feet they were flying at.

Eventually, Mum got home around 5am on Tuesday morning. I’d somehow fell asleep despite worrying about the flight and woke to the sound of car doors outside the house. On her way up to bed, Mum came in and had a little chat with us; she sounded absolutely knackered. That morning, Kieran and I stayed in bed until 10 and even then I tried to be quiet, not wanting to wake them. But Mum was already awake and got up just as we did. Mum made us cups of tea and toasted me another bagel, obviously not needing to use my bagel slicer but using a knife like any other normal person. The majority of that day was spent sitting in the front room listening to Mum, and Simon when he joined us, tell us all about their holiday. They’d bought us little souvenir gifts home, including a fridge magnet for our flat. That evening, Kieran ordered a Chinese takeaway for dinner for everyone. I ordered chicken with cashew nuts & crunchy veg and special fried rice; Mum chose mushroom chow mein and smoked shredded chicken; Simon asked for king prawns in peking fruity sauce and Thai special fried rice; Harley chicken balls with sweet & sour sauce, chips and curry sauce; Kieran had a house special curry with chips. With the place we used, you can request free dishes with certain prices when you’ve spent over different set amounts. Mum said, using her last order as reference, that the platter of mixed sides we were going to order — including prawn on toast, spring rolls and seaweed — had come free. We also asked for free prawn crackers as they’re free over a very low spend. When the meal arrived, we hadn’t been given our platter so assume the offer has changed. However, the meal was lovely regardless. We shared some of it; for example, I had some of Harley’s sweet & sour sauce and chips and they had some of Mum’s shredded chicken. Usually, whenever we used to order there was always dishes everyone wanted some of so it just made sense to share things if more than one person wanted it, rather than buying far too much. For the first time in a long time, when everyone had finished, after a couple of us had second helpings, there was hardly any food left over. Mostly, there’s always some stored in the fridge for someone’s lunch the following day. Everyone thanked Kieran lots because it had been a lovely meal and nice of him to offer to pay. I think Mum was especially grateful; she was starting to feel the tiredness of the night before catching up on her and seemed relieved she didn’t have to cook. That evening, we watched Jools Holland, DIY SOS, Gavin & Stacey and Naked Attraction. Introducing Mum and Simon to the audio description on Naked Attraction was very amusing. When Kieran and I went up to bed, we watched some Friday Night Dinner outtakes on YouTube.

Wednesday meant the last full day of our visit. On Thursday morning, we were catching the train at just after 10 so wouldn’t have any time to do anything. Mum and Simon took Suggs to his grooming appointment while we got up and sorted ourselves out. When they got back, they said they were going into town to get some bits done so I decided to go with them. Both Harley and Kieran said they didn’t want to come. We went to the bank, Pound Land, Primark, Wilco and McDonalds. The last place was because we were feeling hungry. Kieran hasn’t yet let it go, feeling he was cheated out of lunch. As I’ve pointed out, we couldn’t exactly bring them McDonalds home. From town, it would be freezing by the time we got it there. I had a double cheese burger, chips and a mango smoothie. When we got back and I told Kieran what we’d done, he assumed Harley would agree with his outrage. Disappointingly for him, Harley wasn’t that bothered.

Later on, Kieran cheered up quite a bit as we headed for the Harvester in Whiteley. He’d been browsing the menu for the last few days trying to decide what to have. In the end, he had jalapeño poppers for a starter and the dirty bird burger — a beef burger with a hash brown, bacon onion rings, lettuce gherkins and bbq sauce in it — for his main. I had a salad bowl from the unlimited salad bar, potato skins and the belly pork which came with mash and green beans. I changed my beans to peas. Mum had a salad bowl and chargrilled chicken skewers with bourbon sauce, chips and flatbread. Simon also had the belly pork but kept his greeen beans. The food was absolutely delicious! It’s the first time I’ve been completely impressed by a Harvester meal in quite a while. The fact that everyone else thoroughly enjoyed theirs proved my point. If I was choosing somewhere to go for a meal, I’d definitely go back there again soon as the service was great too, despite the fact that they were fully booked.

When we arrived back, we put Gavin & Stacey on Gold again but discovered they’d skipped to a completely diffferent part of the story from where we’d watched the previous night. So, as Mum has never watched it before, we decided to start watching from the beginning. I’m hoping she’s continued to watch.

The following morning, we got up early to make sure we had enough time to get ready and go to the train station. Originally, we were going to catch the bus straight there but then Mum said they’d give us a lift and squeeze in a McDonalds breakfast too. Obviously none of us were going to turn that down. The breakfast was lovely, especially the hash brown as always, and I was glad we were able to get a proper breakfast before the long trip ahead. But that’s a separate story… Mum and Simon drove us from McDonalds to the train station where of course Josh was waiting, as we were a few minutes later than our scheduled time. But there wasn’t a problem, we still had plenty of time to catch our train. Saying goodbye to Mum was hard. It didn’t feel like we’d had long together at all. But she’d had a great holiday and I was so glad; after the 18 months or so she’s been through she deserves it. Of course I wish we could have spent more time together. But hopefully next time we will. Giving her a big hug goodbye and walking away with Josh and Harley towards our awesome weekend ahead, I was so grateful to have come down for a visit, so glad I’d had such a great time and seen as many people as much as I could. It won’t be long, Southampton, and I’ll be back visiting again.

“I know you’re not 12, mate, but the young lady here…”

Last Wednesday, it was time for another trip up north. For the first time, though, I wouldn’t be staying at Lesley and John’s. The flat is ready and Kieran moved in a few weeks ago, so it was time for me to experience it myself. Unlike most of my trips to Newcastle, this time I was going by train with Josh, just like we had last September. On Wednesday morning, after i double checked I had everything, I headed for the bus stop, slightly later than planned. Although the majority of my belongings had been transported by van up to the flat at the end of January, I still had some essentials and extra clothes at home so thought I might as well take another bag’s worth up with me; one less thing to take in the car when I move properly this coming Saturday. Annoyingly, as well as me being a bit later than I should have, the bus seemed to be on a go slow too. I’d missed the one I was meant to catch by meter seconds so had to wait for the next one, which took 19 minutes. Then, for some reason it sat at West Quay for ages before finally trundling on round to the station. Thankfully, my Victor Reader Trek’s GPS was working fine and the talking stop announcements were on so I had no problem getting off at the right stop. Josh was waiting and we went straight into the station, where we were told to wait in the waiting room. A member of staff came to assist us onto the platform so we could catch the 11:30 train to Waterloo. We arrived in London no problem and were assisted to the underground Bakerloo line to Oxford Circus where we changed to the Victoria line for King’s Cross. Originally, I thought I might pop by the Platform 9:3/4 again to get another photo with the trolley and the sign and maybe go into the shop for another browse of all the merchandise. Luckily for my bank balance, we decided to go straight for food. We went into Leon again, having really enjoyed it last time, and Josh bought us lunch as payment for me giving him a rucksack of mine I no longer needed that had barely been used as his was old and worn out. It seemed to be serving him well on its first long distance journey. I decided to be a bit of a pig with lunch, as I usually am when I’m out, not that Josh seemed to mind, and chose mac ‘N’ cheese bites, a halloumi wrap and waffle fries — that were supposed to be spiral fries but were just as nice. Josh was laughing me when I ordered because I asked the member of staff to take some stuff out of the wrap — I’m fussy ok! — and the guy literally said “hang on, I’ll just write it down”. Josh opted for loaded fries, which he’d enjoyed a lot last time, and said they were just as good. Sadly, the guy’s pen and paper recording skills for my request couldn’t have been that accurate as the wrap still contained lettuce. Yes, Josh, I know I shouldn’t be so fussy. Yes, Lesley, I did eat some of it! Afterwards, we headed back to the special assistance desk and a member of staff helped us to our train, the 14:36 to Morpeth. Josh informed me that these particular trains were brand new, having only been in service since October last year, I think he said. They were definitely very nice, super smooth and very comfy. Josh was admiring the window blinds and reading light. We said the design was a lot like a plane cabin and strangely, so were the announcements. When we arrived in Morpeth at 6:03, Lesley was there to meet us. She took us straight round to the flat, where Kieran was waiting for us. It was very strange to be in the flat with furniture in and so clearly lived in at first. The only times I’d seen it before were years ago when I’d gone with Lesley and Kieran to visit his lovely great-grandma before she’d died and then the couple of times ive visited while it’d been being renovated. Somehow, I’d altered it a bit in my mind and made it smaller so I was amazed how much room there actually was, despite my boxes “shite” taking up a lot of the storage space and Kieran having set up a lot of his stuff. Even the office, with Kieran’s desk and a temporary bed moved in for Josh, was huge. Wandering around for a bit gave me a nice chance to memorise the layout and get a bit more familiar with the place. Although beforehand I thought it might be a bit strange to stay there for a weekend and then go home before fully moving in, I now realise it was a great chance to get used to it before I move permanently. Now I don’t have the scary bit of getting used to a new home from scratch on top of all the changes that are coming, one of the biggest being that I’ll soon be employed! It came as a complete shock to me when, at the end of January, I received a phone call from a company where I’d applied for a role back in December, offering me an interview that Thursday, two days later. Obviously, although a little surprised, I said yes straight away. The lady from recruitment who’d called me was lovely, not even flinching when I shamefully told her that I couldn’t even remember the role I’d applied for let alone the details about it. She quickly sent me the job description and person specification, telling me not to hesitate to email her if I had any questions before the interview. On Thursday, I was my usual nervous self beforehand. It helped that I went out for my weekly My Guide walk with the lovely Jenny so could burn off some of the nervous energy I had. When I got back, I went and chatted to Mum, who’d just come out of hospital after her big operation and who is still doing amazingly well in her recovery, before getting some smart clothes on ready for the scheduled MS Teams group interview call at 1pm. Afterwards, I was really surprised to feel that the interview had actually gone really well. It was a group interview, which I think I’ve only done once before, and the other two candidates seemed nice. One of the tasks was to think of a law you’d put in place if you became prime minister and have a little debate about it with the other candidates and interviewer putting questions to you. I said I’d make it law that bins weren’t left out on pavements as they’re a hazard for disabled people. Honestly, it was all I could think of. But it seemed to go down quite well. As the interview wrapped up, the lady interviewing said we should expect either an email or a phone call the following day to let us know the outcome: an email if we weren’t successful and a call if we were. I told myself not to get my hopes up, that this would be like all the other interviews I’d had before. But I had such a buzz from feeling like I’d done well that I couldn’t stop the fizzing hope I felt. The following day, I went to the theatre with Josh and T to see The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Nighttime and before the show we sat in the Slug & Lettuce for a meal. I hadn’t received anything from the company all day and was starting to disappointingly accept I wasn’t going to. Then, my phone rang. But no, it was just the nice removal van man phoning to say my stuff had been safely delivered to the flat. I didn’t hear anything that day and told everyone I assumed I hadn’t been lucky given there had been nothing. Then, the following Wednesday as I sat at Nan and Grandad’s before our usual weekly dinner with them, my phone rang. It was the lady who’d done the interviews. I’d done really well. They’d love to offer me the role of customer service adviser. What did I think? Honestly, I was in shock. I actually said, “really?!” I was so surprised. But yes, really. There wasn’t any catch. There wasn’t any concern over accessibility. They’d dealt with Access To Work before and were happy to work with me to find a way that the job would be fully accessible to me. I was over the moon. The fizzy nervous feeling had fully exploded into full on fireworkd. Since the day I was offered the job, I’ve spoken to a few different people from the company to start arranging me starting work. Naturally, the first thing to sort out was all the assistive tech I’ll need to do the job, like Jaws screenreader and a Braille display. This is done through a service called Access To Work, who assess your needs due to your disability and then recommend adaptations that will mean you can fully access your role. To begin with, I thought this was going to take quite a long time. When I phoned to put in an application, they told me I should expect a 13-15 week wait just to be assessed. After that, the assessor writes a report with the recommendations of what you’ll need, which then has to be approved before being sent to the employer so they can put everything in place for you. However, as I sit here typing this now, everything is done where Access To Work are concerned. It’s just up to my employer to order the equipment now. As long as the equipment doesn’t take too long to arrive, I should be starting work very soon. It’s all very exciting, but terrifying at the same time. Luckily, I seem to have found a company who really want to help me do well in my role, which doesn’t seem to happen often.

That evening, Kieran cooked us burgers on the George foreman with waffles. It was all very nice. Afterwards, I listened to Liverpool vs Leeds on BBC radio 5live while Sky Sports news was on the TV. Liverpool won 6-0. We watched Family Guy, during which Josh was quizzing Kieran on football stadium names to see how many he knew. This was where the first potential blog title came from. If Kieran didn’t immediately know the ground name, Josh would think up a clue to what it was. His clue for the Norwich stadium, Carrow Road, was “cars parked in a row”. It had us in stitches for ages and was by far the funniest clue he came up with, although there were many other good ones.

On Thursday morning, Kieran and I took advantage of having nothing planned that morning and had a lie in. Josh was his usual optimistic early bird self and was awake long before us. I spent quite a while unpacking some of my clothes while the guys listened to music. Then, Kieran booked us a taxi and we went to Sambuca’s to try out their lunchtime special where you get a starter, main course and either coffee or ice cream. I decided to have the potato skins, Josh had the same and Kieran had the soup. For our mains, I had my usual lovely tuna garlic pizza, Josh had a pepperoni pizza and Kieran had carbonara. We all went for ice cream to finish. As always, it was absolutely delicious. Every time I go I think I should try something new but I just can’t resist having the tuna garlic pizza. That evening, we watched arsenal vs Wolves (2-1) followed by Russel Howard’s Netflix special Lubricant. Here, there were many potential blog titles: “my fanny hammer’s gone rogue”, “show me your tits I’m a dolphin”, “several men were dildoed to death, their final words were yeah, oh yeah”. Kieran was very keen for me to use the dolphin option.

The next morning, a Sky engineer was due to arrive between 8 and 1 to install our Sky Q so we had to get up early in case we were their first stop. I spent the morning doing more unpacking while Kieran sorted things with the engineer. Later, Lesley picked us up and took us to Cramlington station where we caught the 16:03 train to Newcastle. Josh was very happy because he was able to tick off 2 more train stations that he’s stopped at. Once out of the station, we wandered around for a while trying to find Wetherspoons. Unfortunately, the first try took us into the wrong one. However, it didn’t take Josh long to locate the right one. To be fair, it took a lot longer for us to actually find a free table because the pub was absolutely full, even though it has 3 floors. Once sat down, we used table service via the app to order our food: simple chicken tikka which came with chips for me; bbq burger with chips and onion rings for Kieran; cheese and bacon burger with chips for Josh. I don’t go to Wetherspoons often and hardly ever eat something like curry when I’m out but I’m so glad I tried it. It was lovely. Once we’d finished eating, we ordered more drinks and I had a pudding, the cookie dough sandwich. When the waiter brought over the drinks, he asked Kieran if he had ID. Kieran didn’t. He said although he knew I was drinking coke we’d have to leave before 7. Then, he said the line I just had to use as the title of this post: “I know you’re not 12, mate, but the young lady here…”. We laughed about it for the rest of our stay and I think I’ll take it as a compliment…

We left before my curfew of 7, anyway, and headed for the Tyne Theatre for our live show. Long before I’d known, Kieran and Josh had arranged to come and see Al Murray’s Victory Gig and Kieran had surprised me with it as a present at Christmas. We had an excellent night. There were points where Kieran was crying with laughter and Josh and I definitely didn’t stop laughing the whole way through. There were several blog title opportunities throughout the show but the only one I can remember is “couple of pints at lunchtime”. Once the show was finished, we went into a bar to wait for John to pick us up. Josh had just come back to the table with their drinks, after waiting ages to be served, when John called to say he was outside. Josh was quite amazed at how fast Kieran was able to finish his whole pint. Back at the flat, we watched Lee Evans Monsters and South Park before heading to bed.

As soon as Kieran and I were up on Saturday, having taken advantage of the lie in opportunity, Josh headed out to Tesco to grab some snacks and drinks for the journey home the following day. Once he was back, Kieran made us all crispy bacon sandwiches, which were great. I spent some of the afternoon doing more unpacking. Kieran listened to the Brentford vs Newcastle match, which Newcastle won 2-0. Josh and Kieran watched the Vertem Elder handicap chase horse race. Later, we had the England vs Wales rugby match on, which England won 23-19. We ordered a takeaway for dinner that night, putting in our order just before closing time. Kieran and Josh chose chicken tikka and donner meat wraps with chips and I had a small Hawaiian pizza, a pineapple ring and cheesy chips. The food was excellent and I felt stuffed. We watched Would I Lie To You, Gogglebox and the Taylor vs Catterall boxing match, which apparently ended quite controversially with Taylor winning on split decision. I know nothing about boxing but it sounds good. While the telly was on, Josh was playing pool on his i’pad and was getting quite angry with his opponents. The last potential blog title came then, when Josh said quite fiercely “I’m gonna beat you, biatch!”. However, both boys considered this too weak compared to the other options.

Sunday meant our return trip home had come. We got up at 8, Kieran made cups of tea and I ate my leftover pizza for breakfast. After he’d showered, Kieran made sausage sandwiches for himself and Josh. We watched Match Of The Day, a tiny bit of Sponge Bob and Sunday Kitchen. Then, around 10:40, Lesley arrived and drove us to Cramlington station, where Josh and I caught the 11:33 train from Morpeth to Newcastle. At Newcastle, special assistance didn’t arrive to help us onto our next train. Luckily, Josh found another member of staff who helped us on board the 11”58 to King’s Cross. Unfortunately, although the special assistance staff were there at all of the stations in London, none of them were particularly good at getting us where we needed to be at the time we needed to be there. We only just made our train from Waterloo to Southampton. Then, when we were almost home, we got delayed by over half an hour at Eastleigh due to crew problems. Josh is going to claim our money back because of the delay. Throughout the second half of the journey home, I’d been listening to the Chelsea vs Liverpool league cup final, although I missed bits when the signal cut out. It should have finished long before we reached Southampton Central but due to our train delay and the match going to extra time then penalties, the game only just finished during my bus ride home, 11-10 on penalties to Liverpool. I think the bus driver was probably a bit surprised when one of his passengers suddenly cheered rather loudly. But I didn’t care.

This time, saying goodbye to Kieran at the station was a slightly surreal feeling because, in two days from now, I’ll probably be in the flat with him right now again, after the long drive from Southampton to Blyth with Dad and T, Mum and S following. This time, when they all head for home on monday, I’ll be staying behind. It seems so strange that moving permanently has come round so fast. In some ways, it seems ages since Kieran and I discussed me moving up there. But in others, it feels like the actual date to move has come as quick as I can blink. Tomorrow, I’m going to Cosmo Southampton for a meal with T, Mum, Dad, Auntie Clare, Uncle Dave, Nan, Grandad and S. then, early Saturday morning we’ll pile my last few things into the cars and head north. Next time I write, it won’t be sat at my desk in my bedroom. It’ll probably be on the sofa or table in the living room of the flat. I’m looking forward to the new start ahead and at the same time terrified of leaving. Saying goodbye to everyone is going to be the worst. But knowing that I’ll be visiting at the end of May for my birthday and before the Ed Sheeran concert is reassuring. So, lots of changes ahead. I’m looking forward to what they all bring. I’m excited about finally starting paid work. I’m looking forward to becoming more better at independent living. I was quite good at it at college so I’m hoping it’ll all come back to me. And, hopefully in a few weeks time, Guide Dogs Newcastle team are going to be in touch with me to start the process of getting me active on the waiting list for a dog again. It seems my life is like that old saying right now, it’s like waiting for a bus, I’ve been waiting for one thing to happen and now they’re all happening at once. At least, waiting for a bus in Southampton, anyway. I’ve definitely been spoilt with the frequency of busses down here. I’ll have to learn to be much more patient with journey planning up there. It’ll all come in time, I hope but for now, I’m going to enjoy my last 2 days living down south. We had a great few days last week and I’m looking forward to many more.

“And if you’re not careful you’ll get water in your biscuit hole…”

On the 6th of this month, it was time for another trip up north to visit Kieran and family, this time to celebrate his birthday. After he’d finished work that evening, Dad picked me and T up and took us, via McDonald’s, to the airport. As Mum was up in London attending another hospital appointment, I’d said I’d make it easier for everyone and get McDonald’s for them for tea. As I was feeling hungry, I decided to have some too. Dad had a cheese & bacon burger, chips and a toffee latte; T had a cheese burger, chips and coke 0; I had a cheese burger, chips, coke 0 and galaxy salted caramel mini McFlurry; between us we shared 20 nuggets. By the time I’d finished my ice cream, we were cutting it pretty fine for getting to the airport. However, I was checked in and through security in record speed so still early for departure. We’d arrived at the airport at 7:01 and I was sat at the gate by 7:17. Unfortunately, the plane was delayed. It landed late coming in from Newcastle and then took ages to be prepared for the return flight. Special assistance staff Neil and Alison helped me through the airport and onto the plane. Onboard, we had captain Rebecca and cabin crew June. I of course took advantage of the complimentary shortbread and June brought me a cup of water so I could take my tablets. The flight was very smooth and despite our late departure we seemed to make up a bit of time, landing at 9:30. In arrivals, Kieran and John collected me.

When we arrived back at theirs, Lesley came out onto the drive with Wilson, who initially wasn’t too thrilled to see me, giving me his customary booming bark to let me know. However, once I was inside, he didn’t bark again. He wasn’t too keen on interacting with me but didn’t seem bothered by my presence. I was even surprised to find that when I came back downstairs from putting my bags in Kieran’s room, he didn’t bark at all. John had made a Hairy Bikers recipe for dinner; I can’t remember what it’s actually called but it’s a chicken, onion and cheesy potato thing that tastes lovely. We watched a documentary called The Real Anne, which shows the story of the mother of one of the Hillsborough disaster victims. During the week, there had been a dramatised version of the documentary, showing the whole story from the morning of the disaster onto all the campaigning for justice over all the years that have followed. The documentary had the actual family members of Anne and her son in it, rather than the actors and actresses who’d portrayed them. Both the documentary and the series itself were brilliantly done, very emotional.

The following morning, we had a lay in until 9:30, when Kieran really needed to start work. While I was in the shower, Wilson nudged his way into the bathroom. I was pretty glad I was in the actual shower, which is around the corner from the doorway, because Lesley came to check where he was. Later, Kieran had his shower and Wilson again invaded the bathroom, this time stealing Kieran’s boxers and wandering off with them. Downstairs, I started reading sir Tom Moore’s autobiography, Tomorrow Will Be A Good Day. A little while after, Kieran’s grandparents arrived for their usual Friday morning visit. It was great to see them again. I had a sandwich with some quiche for lunch.

Not long after lunch, the Wi-Fi broke, which didn’t make Kieran very happy. He spent quite a while trying to fix it and got it partially working before we left to go sofa shopping for the flat. Kieran and Lesley had picked one they liked when they’d gone looking not long after Christmas. It’s very nice, a three seater sofa with an armchair and storage foot stool. We decided to get it. The sales assistant said it could take up to 9 weeks to arrive, but should hopefully arrive sooner. On our way home, we popped by the flat. It’s getting much closer to being ready now. Lesley has picked a lovely carpet, very bouncy. It feels better with the carpet down and doors on as it seems less empty and isn’t echoey any more.

When we arrived back, Lesley took Wilson, who hadn’t barked at me any more, out for a walk. Later, we had a BBC Good Food recipe of chicken wrapped in posh ham (can’t be bothered to look up the proper spelling) with potatoes, green beans and olives. I’ve never tried olives before and am not sure I’m much of a fan. Lesley said I should do the daily olive test. After so many days of having one olive per day you realise you actually quite like them. We spent the evening watching QI, Swindon vs Manchester City FA cup 3rd round match (4-1 to Manchester City), Would I Lie To You, Mrs Brown’s Boys, 8 out of 10 Cats Does Count Down and the Graham Norton show.

Saturday meant it was Kieran’s 25th birthday. It was so great to actually be with him to celebrate his birthday this year. The pandemic and lockdown restrictions meant I couldn’t visit him last year for it and it’s always nice to share it with him. Lesley made us sausage sandwiches for breakfast. Around 12:30, we left to drive to Cramlington station to catch the train into Newcastle Central station. When we arrived, John and Kieran headed in one direction so they could go to the Newcastle vs Cambridge FA cup match taking place that afternoon from 3pm, while Lesley and I walked to Eldan Square so she could return a Christmas present to John Lewis. We got the delayed 14:59 train back to Cramlington. Once we arrived home, Lesley watched the Bake Off Christmas special and I continued to read my book while Rebecca was absorbed in playing Animal Crossing on her Nintendo Switch.

Later, Rebecca went and picked John and Kieran up from Cramlington station. Neither of them were very happy because Newcastle lost 1-0. When everyone was ready, we headed out for Kieran’s birthday meal at Sambuca’s. We got garlic bread and squid for starters. Then, Kieran and John had steak, Lesley had breaded chicken in a tomato sauce with vegetables and I had my usual tuna and garlic pizza. As always, it was lovely. Although, for the first time ever I didn’t finish it all — I was just too full. I even said no to Lesley’s homemade chocolate cake with butter cream. We spent the rest of the evening watching the end of the first episode of Ant and Dec’s new game show Limitless Win, a Pointless celebrity special, the John Bishop show and Man vs Food. When we went up to bed, which was passed midnight, Kieran finally opened my birthday presents to him and then, because it technically was, his anniversary presents. I think it’s fair to say that we really have had the best 6 years. I really can’t believe it’s been 6 years now since we took the risk on our great friendship and turned it into a relationship. Now, 6 years on, we’ve been engaged for 3 and a half years and are about to move in to live together. I can’t wait to see what the next 6 years bring.

While Kieran had been opening his presents, we stumbled upon the first potential blog title: “your house is creaking again”. Every night as everyone goes to bed and the house is cooling down, the pipes and radiator in Kieran’s room creak in exactly the same rhythm every time. However, that blog title didn’t stick because a better one came along…

On Sunday morning, we had another lie in. During the day, Kieran worked on his laptop, continuing to fix things to do with the Wi-Fi. Lesley and Rebecca gave Wilson, who wasn’t very pleased with the situation, a bath. He kept trying to dodge out of their way as they tried to get him into the bathroom. Apparently, a jar of peanut butter made the task easier to complete. Afterwards, he sulked for the rest of the day, not even bothering to grumble when I gave him a fuss. We had sausage rolls for lunch. We listened to the Liverpool vs Shrewsbury FA cup 3rd round match, which Liverpool won 4-1. Lesley cooked a roast dinner with chicken and/or beef. Afterwards, we finally dug in to Kieran’s chocolate birthday cake which, as are all of Lesley’s cakes I’ve tried so far, was delicious. Once we’d finished, Rebecca, her boyfriend David, Lesley, Kieran and I played a logo quiz game and it took me ages to grasp the rules, even though they’re pretty straightforward. Lesley and I were a team, Rebecca and Kieran were a team and David was his own team. Rebecca and Kieran won.

Upstairs, I was checking my emails and found that Kieran had gifted me 3 months worth of audible subscription as an anniversary present. I’d jokingly mentioned, when he’d said he had credits to spend, that I wished someone would give me credits because there’s books I want to read; so he thought it’d be a good present. I have quite a few titles on my audible wish list so it’s going to be difficult to just pick 3.

While I watched The Chase, Kieran had a bath. When he was done, we watched some more The Chase, an old episode of Gogglebox and some Family Guy.

On Monday morning, I received some sad news from home after just getting up. My Great Nanny Olive, who was 95, had passed away in the care home at 8:20 that morning. Mum rang to let me know and a little while later, when I spoke to Nan Marg, she told me that they’d had a call from the home on Saturday evening to say Nanny Olive was struggling to breathe. She hadn’t been expected to make it to the morning but, true to her usual stubborn self, she pulled through until Monday. They said she was peaceful when she passed, which brings some comfort. I have many fond memories of her over the years. When I was little, Nan Marg used to walk us kids round to Nanny Olive’s bungalow for the afternoon, as they only lived around the road from each other. Nanny Olive always kept colouring pens and pads in the big cupboard in her porch for us. There was always tea and biscuits and I remember being fascinated by the tiles on her fireplace and the big thick green rug in front of it. She used to pick me up from school sometimes and I remember visiting for the day during holidays, having casserole and banana & custard in patterned bowls. In her lounge, she had old saggy armchairs and a sofa. On the sofa sat knitted dollies. I have so many great memories of her and I feel thankful that they’ve not been tarnished by seeing her so poorly at the end. When my Great Auntie Gwen died in 2011, I went to see her in hospital the day before she died, as she’d fallen at home and broken her hip, and she didn’t remember who I was, asked Dad if I was a new member of the family. Although I understood it was her dementia talking, it upset me and has stuck with me ever since. I didn’t want a memory like that of Nanny Olive. Last time I visited her at the home, she seemed cheery and we had a good time. I’m glad that’s my last memory of her.

I spent the day trying to read Tom Moore’s autobiography but just couldn’t get into it. Lesley made sandwiches for lunch and I had a slice of Kieran’s birthday cake with mine. As I couldn’t absorb myself in the Tom Moore book, I decided to try something else so used Kieran’s first audible credit to buy Evie Meg’s autobiography My Non Identical Twin: What I’d Like You To Know About Living With Tourette’s. T follows Evie on instagram where she posts videos to raise awareness of the condition and had read the book themself, recommending that it’s amazing. As soon as I started reading, I was already enjoying it. I chatted to T on their way home from college. Then, Wilson was brought home from day school. He flopped down and couldn’t be bothered to do anything.

We had another BBC Good Food recipe for dinner, dirty rice which was lovely. It reminded me a bit of a risotto. We watched I Literally Just Told You, Manchester United vs Aston Villa FA cup 3rd round match (1-0), Beat The Chasers and old episodes of Not Going Out.

That night, it felt weird going to bed knowing when I woke up the following morning it’d be the first day of my life that Nanny Olive wouldn’t be in the world with me. I just kept thinking that I’m so glad I have her name for my middle name and have so many great memories of her to hold on to.

Somehow, we accidentally overslept on Tuesday morning, until T phoned me on their way to college at 9am. During the day, I finished Evie Meg’s autobiography. I had a sandwich with the last slice of birthday cake for my lunch. Afterwards, I continued reading sir Tom Moore’s book. Once Kieran had finished work, I went upstairs and we listened to Kisstory and had a nap. It was another BBC Good Food recipe for dinner, campfire stew this time. Again, it was nice. We watched I Literally Just Told You, QI, Beat The Chasers, the news and Plebs. Upstairs, when we were chatting about all the mugs I’ll be bringing when I move in, Kieran said a line that has become this post’s title. He was talking about the biscuit mug he bought me a couple of years ago, which has an extra slot on the front to put a biscuit in while you’re drinking. When talking about how you’d make a cup of tea in it he said: “and if you’re not careful you’ll get water in your biscuit hole”. I was laughing for ages and immediately got up to write it down in my blog notes.

While Kieran worked, I spent Wednesday daytime job searching. I applied for several paid and voluntary roles. My inbox looked quite good for the amount of application received emails in it. But whether any of them will come to anything I don’t know yet. I’ve applied for hundreds of jobs over the last 6 and a half years since leaving college and only had a handful of interviews so far. Hopefully my luck will change soon. After he’d finished work, Kieran checked my laptop over because it had been randomly crashing lately and I was a bit worried about it. We had gammon, new potatoes and peas for dinner, which I really enjoyed, commenting that I don’t have new potatoes often enough. We watched I Literally Just Told You, Tottenham vs Chelsea (0-1), Live At The Apollo, the news and Mrs Brown’s Boys.

Sadly, Thursday meant my week up north had come to an end. During the day, I finished sir Tom Moore’s autobiography, which I enjoyed a lot. For lunch, Lesley took advantage of my need for new potatoes and made me fish cakes with new potatoes. It was lovely. Kieran had a fish cake sandwich and says it was great. I’ll have to try it sometime. At 4:20, Kieran, Lesley and I left for the airport. Once Lesley had called through for assistance, they came very quickly and whisked me away. This time, my flight home was on time. Cabin crew Andrew was excellent and both Newcastle and Southampton assistance staff coped very well considering there were several of us special assistance passengers on the same flight. In arrivals, T and Dad were waiting for me, a little more emotionally than usual due to Nanny Olive’s passing.

Yet again, I had an excellent time in Blyth with Kieran and family. Before, I’d thought that this time would be the last time I travelled up there before I move. However, as Kieran has booked tickets for us, along with Josh, to see Al Murray live in February, I’ll be going up there one more time, this time by train. Josh booked the tickets on Monday so we’re all set to go. Next Friday, a van is coming to collect all my stuff and drive it to the new flat. Kieran is hoping to move in very soon and we’ll all be staying at the flat in February when we visit. After that, I just have to move permanently. At the moment, it’s all dependent on Mum’s recovery. She had her major surgery yesterday and has a 2 week recovery in hospital plus a further several months home recovery ahead. As soon as she’s well enough to travel and recovered a lot, I’ll be off.

Thank you, Lesley and John, for having me to stay and widening my tastebuds even further. I had a great time as always.

Kieran, I loved spending time with you, as I always do, but especially being able to share your birthday and our anniversary together. I can’t wait for the future we have ahead.

PS: you’re all warned about the sheer amount of stuff coming up in the van next week. Believe me when I say I have had a sort through before packing… see you in February!