Mobility Update June 2022

As I finally have updates on my mobility, I thought I’d go back to writing mobility updates. I’ve written most of my journey towards getting a Guide Dog on this blog since I first started it so thought I might as well continue. Plus, hopefully it’ll be nice for me to look back on in the future, by which time I might have even achieved my original goal, getting that Guide Dog!

Since I was put back on the waiting list for a Guide Dog last September, after I was suspended due to the impact my Epilepsy diagnosis might have on my ability to work a dog and the pandemic meaning I hadn’t been able to practice my longer routes, there hasn’t been much to report. After I was unsuspended and active again on the waiting list, I started to wait again, obviously hoping I might get that miracle call, that they’d found a potential match for me and would like to come out to do the matching walk to find out. But the call never came. To be honest, by this point I wasn’t expecting to get the call quickly. The pandemic has had a big impact on the amount of puppies making it to training and then the actual amount that pass training and are good enough to be partnered with someone. For some reason, the Southampton team seemed to have been hit particularly hard and I think there were quite a few staff changes as well. Of course, that’s just what I think, definitely not the facts. Only the people on the inside working for the charity have that knowledge. Also, pre-pandemic I’d already waited a year and a half with no whisper of a possible match. I’d expected that too. At the very beginning, I’d been unrealistically hopeful that I’d get a match quickly. Not surprising after the amount of time it took me to meet the criteria to be accepted onto the list. But optimism fades. As I’m quite a pessimist anyway it wasn’t long before I wasn’t hoping it’d be soon any more, just hoping it’d actually happen someday. Then, in May 2021, after my lovely My Guide volunteer Jenny and I had been working together a few months post restrictions lifting enough to do so, I said I thought I was ready to be reassessed to get back on the list. I had my mobility assessment and passed fine. Then, at the beginning of September, a Guide Dogs Mobility Instructor – I know the official term has changed now but can’t remember what it is – phoned to say he’d be able to do my Guide Dog Assessment that week if I was available. Before I’d said I was ready to be reassessed, I’d specified that when I did the Guide Dog Assessment I wanted to do it with a dog rather than just the standard short handle walk – a short handle walk is where the instructor holds the harness and moves in the motion that a Guide Dog would; you have to use the commands and gestures you would with a Guide Dog. The purpose of this assessment is to show you have the capability to work a dog. They don’t expect you to get the commands and gestures perfect because you haven’t actually gone through the training. But they want to see you’d be able to learn how to do it and can follow instructions. I requested I do the assessment with a dog rather than short handle because every time I’ve done short handle walks in the past they’ve been a disaster. I’ve completely gone to pieces and failed miserably. Yet the moment I’m allowed to try with a dog and not put under too much pressure, it goes loads better. After all this time, I wasn’t prepared to fail with a short handle walk again. This probably contributed to me waiting 4 months after my mobility assessment but really I didn’t mind because, when the instructor called, he had the perfect dog for me to walk with. Kim was a yellow Labrador retriever full of energy and fun. She was 3 years old and was being retrained after she’d decided she didn’t want to work with the first person she’d been matched with. She was ready to start her training with her new owner a few weeks after my assessment. I was so excited. Obviously nervous too but more excited that I was going to meet and work with Kim. Also, I’d met this particular Guide Dog Instructor before and he’d been lovely; at the time, he came round with a Guide Dog in training called Esra, who was a sweetie. Safe to say, Kim was absolutely gorgeous! Harley was in that Friday afternoon and the instructor was so relaxed, more than happy for us to fuss over Kim as much as we liked. When I’d first applied for a Guide Dog in 2011, I’d been told this was frowned upon. Then, in 2018 when I was being reassessed after returning Zena and working with Jenny on my routes, not making a big fuss of the dogs was one of the reasons they decided I wasn’t suitable for a Guide Dog. I wasn’t going to make that mistake again and had a big cuddle with Kim. A lot has changed with the training over the years since I first applied. Back then, it seemed a lot more strict, with half-check collars and a lot of corrections. Now, it seems a lot more friendly, with treats and lots of praise. Having had Zena, who was trained using the strict seeming method, I much prefer the methods now. Maybe I’ll disagree when I actually have a Guide Dog because I know many owners have concerns. But it seems much nicer to give the dog encouragement and rewards rather than reprimand. My walk with Kim was great. Just having that harness in my hand again, with a wet nose and wagging tail at the other end, was enough to solidify my feelings that a Guide Dog is the right mobility aid for me. The instructor said I did very well too. Kim herself was almost paw perfect and I commented many times that her new owner was very lucky to be getting such a lovely girl. A week later, while I was visiting Kieran up here, I got the call I’d been waiting for; the instructor had taken my case to the weekly case review and they were reactivating me on the waiting list. Due to the amount of time I’d already waited, I was placed in the priority 1 category. This is for people who are waiting for a replacement dog and those who have waited more than 18 months for their first – at least, that was the criteria then so it may well have changed. Of course, I was over the moon and so thankful to the gorgeous Kim, without whom I wouldn’t be in that position.

Unfortunately, nothing came of that place on the waiting list in Southampton. In January this year, when I knew for sure I’d be moving to Blyth a couple of months down the line, I phoned the Southampton team to tell them about the relocation. Immediately, I was suspended on the list again, which I understand because it wouldn’t be fair on the trainee dog or me to be matched a couple of months before I move to a completely new and unfamiliar area. Naturally, I was still gutted. Yet again, I’d come so close but got nowhere. As usual, I contacted my usual source of knowledge and reassurance for all things Guide Dog and generally blind related; Tiny was able to reassure me that once I was under the Newcastle team I wouldn’t have to reapply from scratch, just build up my routes until they were satisfied I was able to be active on the list again. Although he was able to reassure me, I still felt pretty nervous about the whole thing. My experience with Guide Dogs has been rocky from the start and although now I’m older I can see in many ways they were right on a lot of occasions, there were still times they weren’t and it was an uphill struggle to get onto the waiting list in 2018. The way they reacted to my Epilepsy wasn’t very positive either and for someone still getting used to their new diagnosis it seemed pretty insensitive. But either way I’d eventually reached the point I needed to be. Now, it was time to start again.

Once I’d been living here a couple of weeks, I contacted the Newcastle Guide Dogs team to get the ball rolling. As the Southampton team had transferred my case, they were already aware of my situation and ready to start the process of getting me unsuspended. I had to do a health risk assessment again and Epilepsy was flagged as a potential barrier. It was quickly dismissed, I think probably because Southampton had deemed it not to be an issue and because I’d been seizure free for 18 months by this point. Once they were satisfied to proceed, they arranged for a mobility instructor – previously orientation and mobility specialist but I don’t know the new term – to start teaching me routes with my cane. When the first lady arrived, we made a plan to learn how to get to the nearby bus stop, which seemed the simplest destination to start with considering the whole area is unfamiliar to me and I didn’t know anything passed the end of our garden path. So we started practising. I found it very hard. The route itself isn’t complicated at all but for some reason it wasn’t sinking in. We repeated it several times. Unfortunately, the instructor fell ill a few times and had other commitments so our schedule was rather disrupted, meaning there wasn’t a very regular pattern to our sessions. Eventually, she had to take time off work due to illness for the foreseeable future. I felt very sad for her as she was obviously struggling. But of course the selfish part of me wondered what was going to happen next. I’d already been told that My Guide volunteers aren’t allowed to teach routes from scratch, only help practice those that the mobility instructor has said you’re competent enough at. Even if this wasn’t the case, currently there aren’t any My Guide volunteers in Blyth. However, I was lucky; another mobility instructor came out to see me a few weeks later, just before I went down south for my birthday. We only had a couple of sessions together, though. She lives quite a distance from Blyth and as there are staff who live closer and became available to support me, it didn’t make sense for her to continue working with me. So for the third time in as many months, I had a new mobility instructor. I’m very happy to say that we’re going to be working together for the foreseeable. As they still don’t know when my original instructor will be returning to work, they’ve decided it makes sense for continuity reasons that we work together long-term. So I’m very happy to know that fingers crossed things won’t change again until they need to.

So, on 14 June, the handover between my temporary instructor and the new lady took place. I showed the new instructor my cane skills and tried to walk the route to the bus stop. There’s a part of the route, just after coming out of the flat, that’s a big open space. I still get a bit confused about the angle to take to cross it the right way, so I don’t veer off towards a curb. Once I reached the crossing, the three of us went on a little wander to find Lesley and John’s house, a destination I’d suggested as we go there regularly. As we walked, we also discovered the Tesco Express I’d mentioned as a possible destination was an add on to the route to their house. So, the new instructor and I agreed dates in our calendars and said we’d start the route to Lesley and John’s in our next session, which was the 24th. We agreed that the bus stop routes could be crossed off for now as I pretty much know them. Plus, as I don’t know anything at the other end of a bus route, they’re pointless at the moment; there are more important routes to focus on. At first, the route to Lesley and John’s seemed pretty daunting. As of today, we’ve had 3 sessions, so I’ve walked the route 6 times. After the first session, I felt like I was already starting to grasp it. The second, on Monday this week, I at first thought it was going well but then got really confused on a few parts and felt pretty disheartened by the end of it. But today it went really well again. I only got a few points wrong. It’s also turned out that as well as the Tesco being an add on to the initial route, Rebecca’s house is another. Once I’m 100% sure about the route I’m already doing, we’re going to add that part on. I came home feeling much more positive and confident this time. My mobility instructor seems to think I know the route pretty well. I’m not so sure about whether I could do it independently yet. I think I need to practice it a few more times before I feel close to that. But from next week we’re going to start my second route. I’ve discovered a new Guide Dogs term since doing the route to Lesley and John’s: a substantive route is a route that combines two routes with multiple features. For example, the route from the flat to Lesley and John’s plus the route I walk back is a substantive route because it’s actually two separate routes; I walk there one way and back another, almost making a full round trip rather than retracing my steps, which has happened in most of my routes before. In total, if I walk the full circle of the route, it’s about 45 minutes. This meets the criteria for the necessary daily workload for the dog. Plus, the route has multiple destination options: Lesley & John’s, Rebecca’s or Tesco. There’s also a potential free run area of a big field near Lesley and John’s but my mobility officer is checking with the Guide Dogs specialists because it isn’t enclosed, which might mean it can’t be used for a Guide Dog. It’d be handy if I am allowed to use it, though, because it’s somewhere lovely Wilson is taken for a run. According to my Apple Watch’s workout tracker, it’s about 1.3-ish miles and the Guide Dogs daily minimum is meant to be about a mile. So it’s definitely a good one. But the best thing about a substantive route is that because it’s two different ways, one there and another back, it counts as two separate routes. To be accepted back onto the waiting list for a Guide Dog I need three good routes. This current one counts as two so I just need one more. On Monday, we’re going to do another two run throughs of the whole route to and from Lesley and John’s, including Tesco and possibly investigating Rebecca’s. On Wednesday, we’re going to start my next route, a walk to the beach and the nice fish & chips restaurant there. My mobility officer reckons that once I’ve mastered both of these she can put me forward for the Guide Dog Assessment. If I pass that, we can continue to learn other routes, as well as occasionally practising the ones I already know, so that I have more of a variety by the time a match is found. By the way the mobility officer is talking, I might be back on the waiting list much quicker than I thought. I’d expected it to be several months, perhaps even Christmas or after, by the time I was back on the list. If I’m really, really lucky and am back on the list by maybe August, I might even have a match by the end of the year. I know that’s unlikely and I’m definitely trying to keep a lid on my hopes. But I’ve also been told that as I already waited 3 years in Southampton they’ll be trying to find a match for me as quickly as they can. It isn’t good to have someone waiting that long on the list. So maybe 2022 could be my lucky year after all. Who knows?! I’m going to do my best to remember more and more of my current route each time we practice and hope the beach one burns itself into my memory as quickly as possible. I’m also going to try, once I feel confident and safe enough, to go out and practice by myself. That’s always been something I’m not very good at. If someone is by my side or even following silently at a distance, as long as I know they’re there as a safety net I’m fine. But doing it totally alone, just the cane for company… Obviously, the argument is if you can’t go out independently with a cane you won’t with a Guide Dog. But it’s a totally different situation, a completely other feeling. Of course, if my dog was poorly I’d have to go out with my cane if I needed to go somewhere. But that’s a necessity. Working with Zena, however short-term and ultimately unsuccessful that may have been, proved to me that my confidence and comfort with a dog rather than a cane is worlds apart. I’ve always wanted to improve my independent mobility with a cane; and I will try. But whether it’s a mind block, stubbornness or just the truth, when I’m working a dog rather than walking with a cane I feel loads better. I don’t get the same nervousness and panic. Maybe it’s because you’re talking to the dog the whole way, directing and encouraging it. Maybe it’s because with a dog you don’t feel so alone. I don’t know. I just know it’s different and there’s no changing that. But for now, as always, I will do whatever it takes to get me active again on that waiting list, that little bit closer to having my own Guide Dog and the independence I almost had with Zena at my side. Today is 5 years since she was returned to Seeing Dogs. Except being in touch with her second blind owner, I’ve had no news of her since. I often think about her, hoping she’s happier as a retired guide. She was never suited to being a guide dog and I’m glad, in a way, that both her pairings failed. Obviously not for me or her second owner. For us, I wish it could have worked out so we had the guide dog we both wanted. But for Zena I’m sure she’s living her best life now. I hope so, anyway. But even 5 years on from having a guide dog harness handle in my hand every day, I’m still 100% certain a Guide Dog is for me, that it will improve my mobility and independence by miles and help my confidence and mindset so much. However much a Guide Dog is a guide, the amount they help the mental wellbeing of their blind owners can’t be stressed enough. The companionship and having something to look after, a reason to go out every single day, it’s something I can’t wait for.

The purpose of this post was for me to have everything written down so that hopefully some point soon when there’s a dog sprawled out snoring across my feet and I can’t recall part of the journey that brought him/her into my life, I can skim back through this and know how much it was all worth it in the end. Right now, I’m hoping to write once a month, recording my progress during each month’s sessions. I enjoyed doing that while I was training with Zena and even more now, thanks to my not as great memory due to Epilepsy, I like to have things down in writing. Memories become fuzzier quicker these days and as this journey has been quite a lengthy one, it’ll be nice to be able to look back at it fully, rather than with hazy patches.

PS: I’m referring to the lady who is my mobility instructor as my mobility instructor rather than by name as she wasn’t sure whether I was allowed to name her and also seemed more comfortable with it that way.

“The pink polo shirt man and the never-ending stairs” our Sunderland experience of Ed Sheeran

Continuing from where I finished in my last post… On Thursday 2 June, after a great week visiting everyone in Southampton for the first time since I moved away in March, Mum and Simon had dropped Kieran, Harley and I off at the train station, after a cheeky McDonald’s breakfast, and we’d met up with Josh ready for our long trip up North. We caught the 10:13 southern service to London Victoria, where we managed to get a table so we could all sit together during the journey. Before I go any further, I just want to point out that some of this post is written by my good pal Josh and the fact that I’m writing this post at all is thanks to his excellent blog notes he’s written for me, even if they were 3 pages long… In the end, I never noted anything down over the Ed weekend like I usually do when we’re together; there wasn’t any particular reason for this, just that I didn’t get round to it. But Josh very kindly wrote some notes for me from what he can remember from the weekend, supplemented by Kieran and Harley’s memories too. Obviously, my memory can’t be relied on for accuracy so I haven’t even tried. So, if there’s a lot of official train-related jargon in here it’s thanks to Josh.

We had our first change in the journey at East Croydon onto the 12:31 Thameslink service to Cambridge. At 1 o’clock, we arrived at ST Pancras, right on time, and the lovely assistance staff, who were dressed up in union flags and crowns for the Jubilee, guided us to Greggs, where we’d previously agreed to grab lunch because it was the most convenient option and everyone loves a Greggs. While we were walking, the assistance lady was convinced she’d met Kieran before, helping him a week earlier. Even though we explained several times that was actually impossible as he’d been in Southampton with me and nowhere near a train, she was still certain. Seems Kieran has a twin we never knew about roaming the London railway confusing poor assistance staff.

When we reached Greggs, we were all surprised how quiet it was. Due to the Jubilee and bank holiday weekend, Josh had warned us countless times how he predicted the trains and stations to be absolutely rammed and that as well as struggling to get around, we might not find seats on the train. So far, his theory was surprisingly untrue. Josh guided Kieran and Harley took me; Josh bought a 4 pack of sausage rolls and a 4 pack of jam doughnuts; Kieran bought 2 steak bakes; Harley bought a baguette and I got a sausage roll and a pack of 4 caramel shortbreads. Once we’d bought our lunch, we headed across the road to King’s Cross, passing a percussionist and an opera singer performing to celebrate the Jubilee. Then, we split up at Platform 9&¾ where Kieran and Josh joined the long queue for the platform, trolley and sign while Harley and I went into the busy merchandise shop; the plan being that Josh expected to be stood in the queue quite a while so would save time standing in line while we browsed the shop. Surprisingly, Harley and I only spent £25 between us. They chose 2 key rings, a pen and a pencil and I got a pencil, bus pass cover and fridge magnet. As we were wandering around the shop, which was quite crowded, Josh phoned to ask how long we were going to be as they’d already got near the front of the queue. Harley and I tried to hurry as we didn’t want them to lose their place and have to start right from the back again. As we emerged from the shop, quite pleased with ourselves for only spending a small amount, a member of staff came over to us and hurried us to the front of the line and in before the other people who were waiting. It was clearly a disabled perk or “speedy borders” as Kieran’s sister Rebecca would call it and I did feel a bit bad for the people who’d been patiently waiting their turn. Harley and I posed with the prop scarves and wands they gave us and Josh took photos of us holding onto the trolley handle and pointing our wands up to the platform sign.

Afterwards, we found a bench to sit on and ate our Greggs lunch. Harley managed to splatter themselves with their fizzy drink so I held mine away from me when opening it, but it was totally normal. Harley helped Josh find the assistance desk and the assistance staff guided us onto the 14:48 Lumo service to Edinburgh Waverley. As Harley and I settled into our seats, getting comfy in preparation for the 3 hour journey, some rather irritated passengers informed us we were in their seats. We explained that they must be mistaken because assistance staff had sat us in these seats. However, when they told us which seats we were in, it turned out they were right; the assistance staff had sat us in the wrong place. Thankfully, they decided to just sit in our seats in the row ahead. Josh and Kieran were sat a few rows behind so we couldn’t chat. But by Darlington we’d all got bored and all started texting each other funny messages, laughing out loud when we heard each other’s text tones going off.

We arrived into Morpeth right on schedule and Rebecca was there to collect us as arranged. She drove us back to our flat and not long after we’d got in, Imi text to say they were on their way. Her carer, Lauren, was doing the driving for her and assistance dog Sam. We were all very excited to see them. It had been 2 and a half years since Josh and I last saw her, 4 years for Kieran and 7 for Harley so a reunion really was overdue. When she arrived, there were big hugs all round, including Sam. When we’d been arranging the weekend, I’d assumed that Coco, my lovely cat who’s now getting on in age a bit, would be ok with Sam’s presence in the flat for a few days. However, it was soon clear this wasn’t the case. She hid under the coffee table in the corner of the living room and hissed menacingly at Sam, who just wanted to make friends. As Imi has Lucy the cat, Sam is very good around cats and everything would have been fine if Coco wasn’t such a grumpy cow. Sadly, her experience with dogs hasn’t been particularly pleasant. When we first brought her home, we had Tolly, the lovely little fluffy dog who Coco became friends with instantly. They used to share a bed and happily cuddle up together. After she died in 2012, Coco had a break but was then hassled by Marley, who bounded into everyone’s lives in 2015. Marley was a handful and terrible with cats. Sadly, he wasn’t with us long and from mid 2016 to early 2017, Coco was given another break. My Zena came next. Thankfully, she was pretty chilled out around cats but Coco had lost trust in dogs in general by that point and actively ignored her. Again, Zena wasn’t with us very long either. After that, I think Coco thought we wouldn’t subject her to any more canine residents. Unfortunately, she didn’t bet on Suggs, who came crashing into the household in October 2021. Suggs was worse than Marley and actively terrorised Coco. Before Suggs arrived, my plan was to leave Coco with Mum when I moved. She’d lived in that house her whole life and was happily settled there. Harley gave her a lot of attention so I didn’t think she’d miss me that much, even though she was primarily my cat. But then Suggs made her life pretty miserable and I didn’t feel comfortable leaving her behind with him there. Thankfully, she’s settled pretty well in the flat and despite always being an outdoor cat before, doesn’t seem bothered that she can’t go outside now. However, despite Sam’s best efforts to make friends, Coco’s hostility remained for Imi’s entire stay, escalating to growling both at Sam and Imi herself. I’d never heard a cat growl like that before and hope I don’t again. I hoped that as Sam was in the flat a couple of days, Coco would soon realise she wasn’t a threat. But it wasn’t to be. As I said to Imi, I think if they’d stayed longer or visited regularly, Coco would relax with time.

Once all the greetings were exchanged, Imi and Kieran decided they wanted to give me the belated birthday presents they had for me. As we’d been down in Southampton for my birthday, I hadnt seen any point in Kieran taking his presents down with him or Imi posting hers just for us to bring them back up again. It was something extra to look forward to as well. Kieran was very naughty and bought me the Colorino colour detector from the RNIB, which is very expensive but very good at differentiating colours. I’d had one whilst at college and it’d helped me massively when sorting my washing into lights and darks. It had broken a few years ago and I couldn’t justify the price of buying a replacement so had bought a cheaper less reliable version that hadnt been doing a very good job since I moved up here and needed to sort laundry regularly. Safe to say, now I’ve used it several times, the Colorino is still much more accurate. Kieran also bought me a soup maker as I’d said several times how I’d like to be able to make soups and smoothies. I’m yet to try that as some of the controls aren’t physical buttons. Kieran also had a gift bag of presents from his parents, containing a pair of slippers — because I’d desperately needed a pair to leave at theirs for when we visit instead of trying to remember to take some with me — and some lovely bath products, as while our shower had been broken I’d discovered how much I do like a bath, even if I’m not really supposed to have one due to my epilepsy. Kieran asked Lesley to get me some for when I have my sneaky illegal baths every now and then. Imi’s presents were lovely too. She added to my collection of fidget toys with a wiggly slug called Howard, who Harley had lots of fun fiddling with for the rest of the weekend; some lovely wax melts to go in my electric wax burner as I’ve become a bit obsessed with it; and a very fluffy Build A Bear niffler. Recently, Build A Bear have released cuddly toys from the Fantastic Beasts movies and the best one has to be the niffler. Now named Edward by Imi, my big fluffy niffler sits by my pillow on our bed, holding onto both his golden galleon coins, with mini niffler Teddy, who was my birthday gift from Harley, sat beside him. After I’d finished admiring my lovely presents and thanked them both lots for buying such thoughtful things, we all agreed we were quite hungry so decided to order food; Dominoes was chosen. Josh and Imi were “basic bitches” – his words, not mine – and had margarita each; I had a Hawaiian; Harley had a create your own with chicken, meatballs and garlic spread; Kieran had a meat feast. We took advantage of the Jubilee deal Dominoes had on, which gave you 2 medium pizzas, 2 sides and a portion of cookies for less than £25, so all we had to order extra was a 5th pizza. We agreed on potato wedges, 2 portions of cheesy garlic dough balls and garlic dippers. The food was as always lovely, although I thought my pizza base had lost some of its sauce along the way. In the end, we were up talking until 2am, eating leftover sides and cookies as we chatted.

The following morning, we got up around 10. In preparation for the concert that night, we listened to Masie Peters – one of the acts supporting Ed Sheeran on tour – 2021 debut album You Signed Up For This. I’d only heard it once before and had vague recollections of thinking it was good. Some of the songs were quite catchy and I was hopeful I’d enjoy her live. We agreed on McDonald’s for lunch/dinner that day. We were eating before the concert because it would be far too late afterwards and we didn’t want to be hungry during. Josh had a cheese burger and chips and was disappointed they didn’t have milkshakes on the delivery menu; Imi had a fillet of fish and chips; Harley had a cheese burger, 9 nuggets and chips; Kieran had a double cheese burger with added bacon and chips; I had a cheese burger, 6 nuggets and chips; we got a sharing box of the new cheesy garlic dippers between us. The food was very nice, especially as the app gave you the option to customise your burger, like you can at the self-service machines when you eat in, which pleased Harley and I very much because we’re always quite fussy with ours.

As arranged, Lauren, Rebecca and her boyfriend Dave arrived around 4pm and we were on our way to Sunderland by 4:15, Josh and Kieran in Rebecca’s car and Harley and I with Imi. Rebecca and Lauren parked in different car parks so they arrived at the Stadium of Light around 5:30 and us 15 minutes later. When we met up with them, we encountered the rudest steward I’ve ever met. We requested assistance to help us get to our seats, which we’re more than entitled to, and were at first told he had no staff available to help us. There was plenty of staff around. He then tried to tell us that in order to have someone guide us to our seats we should have booked a carer’s ticket so someone could take us. This, again, is untrue. Eventually, after many heated debates, with Rebecca being our quite forceful disabled advocate backed up by Lauren, the man eventually allowed Rebecca to take us all in. Lauren left with Sam because Imi was worried she’d get crushed as the stadium started to fill with people. The fact that he let Rebecca take us to our seats was almost as ridiculous as him suggesting that as disabled people we had to have a paid carer’s ticket in order to attend the show. Nobody came to check whether Rebecca had left the stadium after helping us so she could have quite easily stayed for free. Because of his arrogance and ignorance, we weren’t actually safely sat in our seats until after Dylan, the first support act, had started her set. Personally, I didn’t really enjoy either Dylan or Maisie Peters. As I’d quite liked her album earlier, I’d been hopeful I’d enjoy Maisie live. I don’t know if it’s just how she sounds live, the sound equipment she used or the fact that the stadium was still pretty empty while she was performing, but I just didn’t think she sounded good. Thankfully, the boys enjoyed both support acts. Of course, the main act lived up to and massively exceeded expectations. Josh, Kieran and I had been worried beforehand that because he’d been so great at St James’s when we saw him live 4 years ago, we could be disappointed if this time wasn’t as great. But I’d go as far as to say it was better!. At the start, we all said the songs we’d most love to hear him play and somehow we all got at least one of our choices. The whole set list was just incredible and I think we did a pretty good job of making Harley’s first ever concert a great one. We were all singing along at the tops of our voices and Harley got plenty of photos and videos so we have physical evidence to support our memories. The cost of the tickets was yet again well worth it.

Of course, we could have sat there all night singing along if he’d played that long, but when Ed’s performance did sadly come to an end, we sat where we were for quite a while, letting the stadium empty out so that hopefully it wouldn’t be quite so crowded as we tried to leave. Once we were with Rebecca, Dave and Lauren, the boys went with them while Harley and I followed Laure, who’d reunited a very relieved Sam with Imi. On our way out, Imi felt quite ill so we stopped for a while. A very interfering drunk woman, who claimed she was a nurse, wouldn’t take our word for it that Imi would be ok in a few minutes and to let Lauren do her job and look after her. She repeatedly asked Lauren if she was medically trained and wouldn’t take Lauren’s assurance that she was. In the end, the three of us had to be quite forceful in telling her to get lost because she was really upsetting Imi. Eventually, she buggered off and once Imi was sure she felt well enough to move, we slowly made our way back to her car.

Once we were all back at the flat, we talked for a little while before heading to bed. Coco had hidden under the coffee table in the living room again but somehow Kieran and Harley managed to herd her into the kitchen while Imi used the bathroom.

On Saturday morning, despite saying we’d get up at 9 and possibly go for a walk on the beach, we dragged ourselves out of bed around 9:30 and were completely exhausted; going for a walk anywhere wasn’t an option. Kieran cooked breakfast of sausage, bacon and hash browns for himself and Imi; Josh decided to eat his jam doughnuts from Thursday’s train journey for his; Harley made pasta with garlic mayo, ham and cheese in for the two of us. It was pretty nice. Far too soon, at around 12:30 Lauren arrived to collect Imi and Sam to drive them home. We all hugged very tight and vowed we wouldn’t let it be so long until we saw each other next time. After Imi left, Josh and Harley took a little wander to the nearby Tesco Express to buy themselves snacks and drinks for their train trip home the following day. Unlike ours on Thursday, they wouldn’t have time to stop and get a meal at the station. Once they were back, we just chilled in the living room for the rest of the afternoon. We put the England vs Hungary football match on but it was rubbish (0-1). Then, we introduced Josh to Naked Attraction with audio description on. I have to add here, as Naked Attraction was also watched in my last post, that we only watch it because the audio description is funny, not because we’re interested in the show. After we’d had a bit of fun watching that, we watched Russell Howard’s Right Here Right Now live show; he always manages to make me laugh loads. When we all decided we were hungry, we chose yet another takeaway option for our tea. Well why not? It was a treat weekend. Anyway, I don’t think Kieran or I are quite up to cooking at the standard that’s required for guests yet. Josh had a jumbo sausage and chips; Kieran had a mixed wrap, chips and Smokey sausage; I had a cheesy chips wrap with curry sauce and a jumbo sausage; Harley had chicken nuggets and chips. Trying a wrap full of cheesy chips and curry sauce was a first for me. When I’d chosen the wrap and it’d asked for choice of sauce, as usual we hadn’t been sure whether that meant the sauce would come in a pot on the side or in the wrap itself. At first, I was a bit dubious on finding the sauce in the wrap whether it’d be nice or not. Turns out it’s lovely and definitely something I’d like to have again. Although, the strangest thing about that takeaway’s menu is that when you order a cheesy chips wrap, you have to have it with either salad or chips; there’s no option to have none. As someone who isn’t a salad fan, I had to pick chips. I think it’s a shame they don’t just have a none option. Obviously, it’s necessary for other wraps that don’t contain chips but was a bit of a waste of food with mine. We then watched the Jubilee Platinum Party, which wasn’t that great.

Since we’d first started talking about me moving to live with Kieran, something Harley was hoping to have if they came to visit was a takeaway pudding. Kieran introduced me to a takeaway pudding place, Buzz Bar, that has now closed down on one of my many stays at Lesley and John’s. It instantly became something I loved. I’ve always been a pudding person and discovering there were places that just delivered puddings was quite a revelation. After Buzz Bar shut down, we tried a different pudding place, Movie Foods, and found it was also lovely. When the Ed tickets were booked and we knew everyone would be staying at the flat with us, I promised Harley we’d get a takeaway pudding one of the nights they were here. So we did. Josh had the Cadbury’s collection cookie dough; Kieran had a lotus biscoff milkshake with extra biscoff, a chocolate fudge cake and a slice of school cake for later; Harley had a reese’s pieces peanut butter milkshake with added kitkat, oreo loaded doughnuts and a kinder cookie dough box with added aero bubbles, Cadbury whispa, oreo crumbs and white chocolate sauce (they saved the doughnuts for later); I had a reese’s pieces peanut milkshake plus extra reese’s, a create your own cookie dough that had Belgian white chocolate, caramel sauce, marshmallows and oreo crumbs on it and a milky bar button cheesecake for the following day. Safe to say after that we were all very full. It was worth it though.

As Harley and Josh needed to be at the station for their train which was scheduled to leave at 12:03, we decided to get up at 8 on Sunday morning. Kieran cooked Harley sausage, hash browns and beans but Josh didn’t want anything. Josh checked on their train just before 11 and found it hadn’t departed yet and then there was a long delay. For quite some time, Josh and Kieran were looking into options to get them home. At one point, we were seriously considering the possibility that they’d have to stay an extra night because all the other available trains were full. Thankfully, their original train eventually departed Edinburgh so Rebecca and David came to take them to the station. In the end, their train departed Morpeth at 14:17 with them stressed but safely onboard. Two hours later than planned, Harley and Josh arrived into Southampton Central, a relief for us all.

Apart from the assistance staff putting Harley and I in the wrong seats on our journey up, the idiotic steward at the stadium being completely out of order, Imi sadly being poorly after the concert and the stressful couple of hours when we weren’t sure whether Harley and Josh were going to be able to get home, we really did have an amazing few days. Getting the 4 of us together doesn’t happen very often and it was made even better by having Harley with us. I miss my tiny sister a lot and every time I see them I’m reminded that they really aren’t little any more, even if they will always be a small person to me. They’re turning into an adult and that is so strange for me. It won’t be long before it’s them in their own car collecting Kieran and I from the airport when we go down to visit. It only seems like yesterday that they were starting school in Nan’s knitted jumpers with the school badge sewn on because even the smallest size school uniform was far too big. Yet they’re about to finish their first year at college and considering finding a summer job. I really don’t know where time goes. But it was so great to take them to their first ever concert. Having a few days with us all together was just so nice and I really hope we keep our promise of not letting it be so long until we do it again.

Big thanks for all your help to Rebecca, Dave and Lauren, especially when that steward was being a proper twat; I think you should go into disabled advocacy, Rebecca, because I don’t think anyone would dare discriminate against anyone after you’d finished with them. Lots of thanks to Josh, who booked the concert tickets and as always took control of the train journeys and made them a success, but especially for making sure Harley got home safe. Thank you, Imi, for being brave and coming to see us. You’ve had the toughest year this year and I’m so glad you felt you were able to come. It wouldn’t have been the same without you and it was so good to spend time with you at last, and of course have lots of cuddles with lovely Sam. But most of all, to all 4 of you for the best weekend I think any of us have had in a long time. I’m so glad we decided to book tickets to Ed and that you 3 could come and stay at the flat with Kieran and I. Come back soon! Although that’s not an invite to come every weekend, Josh…

PS: Imi suggested the blog title this time. When I eventually got around to thinking about writing a post for this weekend, I couldn’t remember a single line we’d said, except “Fucking Ed Sheeran” in memory of Imi’s lovely dad Mike, who sadly passed away far too soon at the beginning of this year. As much as I would have liked to use that, I thought it was going a little too far. As well as the one I’ve chosen, Imi had these suggestions: “4 blind people and a them take on the stadium of shite”, “my bad habits lead to maccies”, “Edding out”, “who the fuck is Dylan”, “Josh who could pass as a butch woman”, “scoffing the Queen’s Dominoes meal deal”, “Sam v Coco and the unresolved conflict”, “shivers me timbers” and “the pyro was so good I could see it”. However, I went for “pink polo shirt man and the never-ending stairs” to represent the crazy drunk man who was sat nearby us during the show. Several times he fell over, perhaps in his excitement for the show. Each time we went to the loo or when we entered and left the show, those stairs really did feel never-ending. My favourite was definitely “4 blind people and a them take on the stadium of shite” but although my only readers are the women in Kieran’s family Kieran himself, Josh and Harley, I didn’t want some random person to stumble across it and complain because they thought I was being ableist, homophobic or swearing. But it definitely was the funniest and pretty much sums up the weekend perfectly.

“Well you’ll definitely get that, Greggs take anyone”

In March, I moved from Southampton to Blyth to live with Kieran. He and his parents had been renovating the flat left in their family after his great-grandma passed away a few years ago. At the time, it had a wet room for a bathroom and they decided needed a lot of work doing to it. John did the majority of it and everyone has agreed it looks lovely. It’s definitely very nice to live in and I feel I’ve mostly adjusted well to living up here. It’s definitely been strange living so far away from all my family. Before I left, Grandad John’s health had started to go rapidly down hill. He’s 83 today and has done incredibly well to stay quite healthy in his senior years, especially considering he had prostate cancer in 2015. Grandad has always been the head of the family, loved and admired by us all. He’s just such a great man. But age is slowly taking away the Grandad we know him as. We think dementia is taking hold, his hearing is deteriorating and he doesn’t interact much any more. These days, if you want a good conversation with Grandad, you have to start and keep it going. He still loves talking to us and you can tell is so happy when someone starts chatting to him, but he just doesn’t get involved any more. At family gatherings, he used to be centre of the conversation, chatting to everyone. Nowadays, he just sits in a corner, observing and taking it all in, with the odd comment every now and then. That made leaving that little bit harder. It’s a horribly clear reminder that he is getting older and isn’t going to be around for ever. Nan Marg and Grandad John, Dad’s parents, played a massive role in my childhood — they pretty much helped raise me. While Mum and Dad were out working, unable to do the childcare, Nan and Grandad took it on gladly. Nan has told me so many times how she’s so happy that she’s been so involved in her grandchildren’s lives. So am I. They’ve been the best grandparents. But they’re not getting any younger and things are difficult for them at the moment, for Grandad because he can see Hes changing and for Nan because she’s having to look after him more and more. I used to spend every Wednesday with them and I miss those days. But I know I am really lucky to have had so many with them. Saying goodbye in March was hard; we all went out for a meal the evening before we travelled up here and I was so glad we spent it all together. Even before I moved, we’d already agreed my first visit back. I was to travel down sometime at the end of May to spend my birthday with them. It was nice, as we drove away that Saturday morning, to know I had a fixed point when I’d be seeing everyone again. I think it was a comfort, especially for my first few weeks up here while I settled.

So, 2 weeks ago, it was time to make that planned trip back down south. Kieran and I had booked our plane tickets some time before, trying to get the best price we could. Like everything else, flight prices have increased a lot. On Wednesday 25th May around 4pm, after Kieran had finished work for the day, Lesley arrived to take us to the airport for our flight down. Once there, we had to wait a little while for assistance to arrive but they soon came and took us through security, where I even had to take off my shoes to walk through the security scanner, because boots aren’t allowed. We sat in departures a while and then, when we boarded, we found they’d boarded the rest of the passengers before the special assistance passengers, which explained our wait. This meant that the plane was dlayed taking off. It was a smooth flight and somehow we landed 2 minutes early in Southampton. During the flight, I’d listened to my music, only pausing to accept the complimentary water, shortbread and caramel wafer, feeling suddenly strange about going down. It was weird that it was finally happening. After so long of looking forward to seeing everyone again, I was actually on my way to doing just that. In reality, 11 weeks isnt long at all. but it had seemed long. In another way, though, the time seemed to have flown by.

as we departed the plane, the lovely assistance lady, Alison, whos helped us on many occasions before was there to greet us. she remembered me well, even knowing to ask if I was coming back to visit as I’d told i was planning to move to live with Kieran earlier in the year. in arrivals, my tiny little sister — obviously not tiny at all any more — was waiting excitedly to meet us. i hugged them so tight. note: T is now using they/them pronouns and going by the name Harley. they’ve explained this to Mum but shes not quite ready to call them Harley yet. Kieran and I are doing our best to support their wishes. harley had been the name Mum and Dad had chosen for them before they were born, when I thought I was having a little brother. strangely, it kinda suits them. My brain still thinks Tamsin sometimes and it’s strange calling them Harley between ourselves and to them but Tamsin to people they haven’t explained to. all in good time, hopefully. Harley guided us out of the airport to the car where Dad was waiting. it was so good to see them both again. as Kieran and I hadnt eaten and Dad had time, we headed to the mcdonalds in Eastleigh for some dinner. Harley and I ordered at the self-service machine while Dad and Kieran found a table. Kieran had the McSpicy vmeal with a coke; I had a double cheese burger and fries; Dad had a large fries and a large latte; Harley had a flake McFlurrie and a coke 0; Harley and I shared 6 chicken nuggets and bought a portion of the new cheesy garlic bites which we all shared and agreed were lovely. Afterwards, we headed to the hospital to pick Dad’s girlfriend Michelle up from work. Dad dropped the 3 of us back at Mum’s house before they went home themselves.

when I’d originally planned this trip, it had obviously been with the intention of going back to Southampton how it normally was and seeing everyone as I usually would. however, Mum’ partner Simon had surprised her with a holiday away to Benidorm with his brother and sister-in-law. It was a treat for her after the year she’s had, including all the worry as she had tests to see what the problem was, the complex operation, finding out it was cancer and then the recovery that has followed. when he’d booked it, he hadn’t realised he’d not only booked it during my visit but over my birthday too. Mum was very excited about going on holiday — it was her first since going to Greece in 2019 with Harley and Dad — but was disappointed and apologetic about missing my birthday. To begin with, I’d been pretty gutted; it’s quite childish but I haven’t spent a birthday without Mum yet. To get to 25 and manage that is quite unusual, I think, and not really a big deal. To be honest, I think I was more disappointed that Mum wasn’t going to be there for my whole visit, instead only 2 days out of the week I was down. So arriving back to what had been my home since I was a toddler for the first time after moving away was bittersweet. It felt very strange to be there, even with staffy dog Suggs enthusiastic welcome. It was very nice to discover that although he is still 100% bonkers, Suggs behaviour has improved a lot. He was instantly besotted in Kieran, who had found himself a new shadow who was very excited to have someone to play with. he brought Kieran his favourite ball and they spent some time playing out in the back garden, Kieran doing his best to tire Suggs out, something nobody has yet achieved.

everyone had a long lie in on Thursday morning before Harley had to go to their afternoon class. Kieran spent the afternoon going through Mum & Dad’s CD collection, some of which Dad had left behind when he’d moved out, and copying the ones he wanted onto his laptop. At around 4pm, Harley arrived back from college, driven by Auntie Clare who’d come to see me with Nan and Grandad. It was so good to see them all and lots of hugs were exchanged. While we were all chatting, Harley answered a knock to the door which turned out to be the lovely Jenny who’d popped by to say hello and drop off a birhtday card for me. It was such a nice surprise to see her and next time I go down I’ll try and set aside some time so we can go for a coffee and a catch up. Jenny and I email regularly and I enjoy keeping in touch with her. She helped me so much in Southampton and I wishe I could transport her to Blyth to do the same.

after everyone left, the three of us got ready and got the bus into town to meet up with Josh. We’d arranged to meet for dinner at Pizza Hut. We’d agreed we’d meet up anyway but Josh had a 5 years of service meal offer from work and Kieran had the meerkat meals discount to use. Therefore, as it was on the list of options for the discount and always somewhere we love, we’d agreed on Pizza Hut. Josh had up to the value of £50 to spend that work would reimburse if he kept his receipt. As Kieran’s meerkat meals offer is 2 for 1 on everything except deals and sharing dishes, we pretty much had the pick of anything and didn’t need to worry about the price, which obviously meant we took full advantage.when we were seated and the waitress took our order, she said she recognised me and Kieran. It turns out she was the waitress in the Hedge End branch of Pizza Hut, now closed down, that served Kieran and I on our very first date night. Kieran and I remember her too because her service was excellent, especially as she adapted to our needs effortlessly, to the point where you wouldn’t even notice the difference. At the time, we’d nicknamed her Clare, not actually knowing her real name but deciding she suits a Clare. I spent the whole evening trying to pluck up the courage to ask what her actual name is but didn’t manage it. If she ever serves us again, I’ll make sure to find out. Yet again though, Clare, thank you for being amazing. Your service was faultless and it was lovely to have you again. She made funny little comments to Harley; like when we ordered refill drinks and salad bowls, she teasingly said to them: “I suppose that’s up to you to sort out then”. Sometimes, people are so afraid to make jokes about disability because they’re worried of the response. Some people are very defensive about their condition and wouldn’t appreciate a funny comment, however innocent the intention, because they see it as the person making fun of and being offensive about them. To be honest, if the joke is lighthearted and made without malice I don’t really see the problem. I’d even go as far to say that sometimes it makes the occasion more enjoyable. Because *Clare knew it was ok to joke around with us it made our experience more relaxed. We knew we didn’t need to worry about any discrimination or accessibility for this outing. It’s really nice to have that feeling and lovely that she remembered Kieran and I so well too and seemed genuinely interested to hear how we were. In keeping with our plan to take full advantage of the discount, I think we all ordered as much as we could. Harley and I had salad bowls; everyone except Kieran, who had beer, had refill drinks; we shared chips and cheesy garlic bread; Kieran had a stuffed crust spicy meat feast pizza with chicken wings; Josh had a pepperoni stuffed crust pizza; Harley had macaroni cheese, chicken bites and a chocolate cookie dough; I went for a Hawaiian pizza with added mushrooms and a white chocolate salted caramel cookie dough. Safe to say we were all absolutely stuffed and the bill exceeded Josh’s £50 gift. If we hadn’t had Kieran’s meerkat deal it would have been double. I’d like to say we would have been less greedy if we hadn’t had both of these but I’m not sure.

Feeling very full, we headed for the bus stop. Wehn our bus came, we said goodbye to Josh, who’d let it slip that he was coming to my birthday meal on Sunday. As we got on and I tried to pay, I struggled to find the contactless pad to first use my buspass and then my bank card. Not only did the driver not try to help me, she then let another woman boarding the bus after us barge past and pay while I was still floundering. We were stood in a line of three — Harley then me then Kieran — so the other passenger had to push passed all of us to get by. It was really disrespectful of the driver and rude of the other woman. Harley was absolutely seething about it and we discussed it for quite a while after we arrived home.

After Harley returned home from their morning lesson at college on Friday, the three of us went on the bus into Woolston. I wanted to get a few bits and pieces for the house and we were going to Nan and Grandad’s later for dinner. I suggested to Harley and Kieran that we go to Woolston a bit earlier than planned and I’d treat them to a Subway. It was a gorgeous hot day and just right for a Subway; plus, it’d been ages since I’d had one. Everyone agreed. Once in Woolston, we went into Lidl first and got the bits we needed. Then, we headed for Subway. Kieran had a hearty Italian meatball marinara with jalapeños, a chocolate chip cookie and a Mountain Dew; Harley had a hearty Italian with chicken, ham, crispy onions and sweet onion sauce, a chocolate chip cookie and pepsi; i had nachos with meatballs, a peach iced tea and a lemon cookie, which was new; I got a portion of hash browns and potato wedges for us to share. The food was lovely. While we’d been ordering our food, my phone had rang but I’d ignored it. I realised I had a voicemail and found it was from the recruitment team at Greggs, offering me an interview for the role I’d applied for a week or so earlier. No, the role isn’t serving customers in the bakeries, obviously. It’s working in their head office answering complaints and queries via telephone, email, web chat and social media. When I’d applied, it had actually been one of the few I hoped I’d get an interview for. Unusually, it didn’t ask for experience I don’t have and I thought I’d actually be able to complete all the necessary tasks. I decided not to phone them back in Subway but told Harley and Kieran what the call was for. They were both pleased but Harley’s response is the reason for this post’s title. In their attempt to congratulate me on getting an interview and refering to previous interviews I’ve been unsuccessful in, they said: “Well you’ll definitely get this one, Greggs take anyone”. As soon as they realised what they’d said, we all laughed about it. Obviously, they didn’t mean it how it sounded and were just trying to be positive for me. But as phrases for possible blog titles go, it’s a pretty good one.

Once we’d finished our food, we caught the bus up to Nan and Grandad’s where they were just arriving back with Auntie Clare from Grandad’s hair cut and Nan’s 4th covid vaccination. While Kieran sat out in the lovely sunny garden chatting to everyone, Harley and I popped round to the nearby convenience shop so I could buy the items Lidl hadn’t had that we needed. Then, we all sat out in the garden enjoying the sunny weather. A little while later, Dad arrived from work and Auntie Clare was persuaded to stay for dinner too. We all had curry with naan bread. As requested, Nan had made her amazing apple crumble for pudding. I’d joked that I wouldn’t come for dinner when I visited if she didn’t make it. It didn’t disappoint. In fact, I think I could have eaten the whole lot had she let me. We spent the rest of the evening at home watching Gogglebox.

We spent Saturday with Dad and Michelle in town. We went into West Quay where Dad, Michelle and Kieran got Costa. Meanwhile, Harley and I went to see the Eastleigh Guide Dogs fundraising group who were set up trying to attract donations. David, who I’ve met several times before, had messaged the night before to say they’d be there if I wanted to pop by and say hello. It was lovely to see him again and make a big fuss of Winston, his curly coat retriever withdrawn guide dog who helps catch people’s attention. Afterwards, we all went to Apple as one of Kieran’s airpods wasn’t working properly. As there was going to be quite a wait, Harley and I headed off to do some of the shopping: Lush, Primark, Savers two crystal shops and Shoe Zone. While we were doing that, the other three went to Asda and then Hinds jeweller’s where Kieran was able to get his engagement ring reshaped. It hadn’t been round for quite some time. We all met up and went to Poppins, Dad’s favourite place, for lunch. Dad had his usual brunch with beans, Michelle had a salad and Kieran, Harley and I made up our own breakfasts. After, Dad and Kieran went to HMV while Michelle, Harley and I went to Pound Land. While Harley and I were in Card Factory, Michelle bought Dad a vape. Before I’d moved away, he’d decided to quit smoking and had been doing quite well for a while. In a bid to save him money and stop him smoking actual cigarettes, Michelle decided he should try a vape. It was certainly a funny novelty that afternoon, especially because he was calling it his “puff puff”, but he seems to have stuck with it since, maybe because of the cola, caramel latte and cappuccino liquids he chose for it or maybe because it’s saving him money. Either way, it’s better for him than the amount of cigarettes he was smoking each day.

Dad dropped us home and Harley spent the rest of the afternoon tidying their room while Kieran and I listened to music and I sorted out my shopping. At around 5 o’clock, while Kieran was out in the garden playing with Suggs, the Disney boat’s horn went off. I’d first heard it a couple of years ago when it had first come to Southampton. I looked forward to hearing it from my room whenever it was in because it could always make you smile. It had been around a few days before I’d left and I remember thinking that I’d miss it’s little tune. Mum and I used to call to each other from whichever room we were in that we could hear it. It made me smile to hear it again and I’ve since found a video of it someone has posted on YouTube.

At around 6:45, Dad and Michelle picked us up and we all went to Nan and Grandad’s so we could watch the Champion’s League final between Liverpool vs Real Madrid together. Nan did a little buffet of crisps and dip, cheesy savouries, marshmallows & maltesers, egg or ham sandwiches, chicken goujons, duck spring rolls, Greggs sausage rolls and breaded cheesy bites. The food was lovely and it was nice for us all to spend the evening together. Unfortunately, the football wasn’t so good; kickoff was delayed by half an hour because of problems outside the ground when fans were trying to get in and it wasn’t being handled very well. Liverpool lost 1-0.

As Mum wasn’t there to uphold our usual traditions of everyone gets up at a sensible time on their birthday, on Sunday morning we got up around 10. Kieran went downstairs and put the Stevie Wonder birthday song on the CD player, so that tradition continued. Once we were all showered, we FaceTimed Mum so that I could open her presents. I was as always very spoilt by her and Harley. I also opened the other cards there for me, including those from Kieran’s family we’d bought down with us, and found that I had a Costa voucher in my email InBox from Jenny.

At 1:15, Dad and Michelle arrived to take us out for my sort of surprise birthday meal. It had meant to be a complete surprise — all I was supposed to know was that I was seeing everyone on my birthday — but Dad had let slip that we were all going for a meal. Luckily, he hadn’t told me where we were going and nobody else had either. It was The Hut, our nearby Beefeater, which I’d enjoyed going to many times before. There to meet us were Josh, Nan, Grandad, Auntie Clare and Uncle Dave. Once we’d sat down, I opened more gifts from everyone else and was again very spoilt. Unfortunately, the service and quality of The Hut wasn’t at the standard we’d been expecting. There were quite a few things missing from the menu, which meant people had to find alternatives to what they’d actually fancied, and some of the meals weren’t particularly enjoyable. The service itself was also very slow. Kieran had calamari as a starter, the chicken melt for his main and a sticky toffee pudding; I had potato dippers, the chicken melt and a peanut butter and banana sundae; Harley had potato dippers, lasagne and a mini sundae; Josh had lasagne and a triple chocolate brownie; Dad had potato dippers and the chicken melt; Michelle had a prawn cocktail and lasagne; Uncle Dave had chicken goujons and a mixed grill; Auntie Clare had a prawn cocktail and a lasagne; Nan had roast lamb; Grandad had a prawn cocktail and a small steak & mash. Originally, Grandad had wanted roast chicken, Kieran chose fish & chips and chicken wings and Nan ordered steak & ale pie but these were all unavailable. Kieran, Dad and I agreed there wasn’t enough of the toppings and sauce on our chicken melts; Harley and Michelle said there lasagne was watery. So overall, a pretty disappointing meal. Despite that, it was lovely to be with everyone. Auntie Clare had also brought a birthday cake, a slice of which I somehow managed to squeeze in. The worst part of it all, of course, was saying goodbye to everyone. As we left the restaurant, I had to say goodbye to Nan, Grandad, Auntie Clare and Uncle Dave, who I wouldn’t be seeing any more while I was down. Then, when he dropped us home, I had to say a big goodbye to Dad as I wouldn’t see him again until next time. As time passes, I hope the goodbyes will get easier.

I spent the rest of my birthday watching The Chase and Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone, which was obviously a very good ending to the day in my opinion.

For breakfast the following morning, Harley showed me how to use my new bagel slicer, a requested birthday present from Mum as I’d been struggling to cut in half the bagels I’d bought at home. Turns out it is of course simple. While I ate my first self-sliced bagel, Kieran had a crumpet. Harley and I spent the day tidying and cleaning so that the house was presentable ready for Mum coming home in the early hours of the morning. Once everything was done, the three of us headed into town on the bus as Kieran had promised to buy Harley dinner at Ed’s, somewhere they love going. On the way, I had a quick look in Schuh to see if I could find any nice Converses to buy with Mum’s birthday voucher, but didn’t get any. At Ed’s, Kieran had hot wings, a Coney Island hot dog, chips and beer; Harley had chicken tenders, cheese & bacon loaded fries and a banana milkshake; I had chicken tenders, halloumi fries, waffle fries and the Go Bananas (peanut butter, banana and caramel sauce) milkshake. We enjoyed our meals, and the milkshakes were of course faultless, but Harley and I agreed that the chicken tenders weren’t as nice as they used to be. Also, we’d had to complain about Harley’s loaded fries as they’d arrived stone cold. As we were sitting there, we discovered they’d ran out of gravy, gherkins and nachos and by the time we left there was a 30 minute wait for a table because the chef had gone home ill.

On the way back to the bus stop to go home, we stopped at Costa so I could use Jenny’s birthday gift voucher and also take advantage of the free cake because it was my birthday Costa Club offer. Unfortunately, when I tried to pay, the till wouldn’t accept either voucher, meaning I paid in full for the lot. To add to my annoyance, my white hot chocolate with coconut milk seemed to be missing the chocolate part and was just hot coconut milk. Thankfully, Kieran enjoyed his iced Frappuccino and Harley their berry cooler. I’d also bought Kieran and I biscoff rocky roads, which we enjoyed later.

That evening, when she arrived at the airport, Mum phoned Harley to say her flight had been delayed. We’d all been a bit nervous this would happen given all the delays and cancellations on flights over the last few days. Mum promised to keep us up-to-date and Kieran kept an eye on the departure board online. Once they’d finally departed, Kieran checked their plane every now and then on his flight tracker app. We watched Hebburn for the rest of the evening and every now and then Kieran would freak me out with a little fact about Mum’s flight, like how many thousand feet they were flying at.

Eventually, Mum got home around 5am on Tuesday morning. I’d somehow fell asleep despite worrying about the flight and woke to the sound of car doors outside the house. On her way up to bed, Mum came in and had a little chat with us; she sounded absolutely knackered. That morning, Kieran and I stayed in bed until 10 and even then I tried to be quiet, not wanting to wake them. But Mum was already awake and got up just as we did. Mum made us cups of tea and toasted me another bagel, obviously not needing to use my bagel slicer but using a knife like any other normal person. The majority of that day was spent sitting in the front room listening to Mum, and Simon when he joined us, tell us all about their holiday. They’d bought us little souvenir gifts home, including a fridge magnet for our flat. That evening, Kieran ordered a Chinese takeaway for dinner for everyone. I ordered chicken with cashew nuts & crunchy veg and special fried rice; Mum chose mushroom chow mein and smoked shredded chicken; Simon asked for king prawns in peking fruity sauce and Thai special fried rice; Harley chicken balls with sweet & sour sauce, chips and curry sauce; Kieran had a house special curry with chips. With the place we used, you can request free dishes with certain prices when you’ve spent over different set amounts. Mum said, using her last order as reference, that the platter of mixed sides we were going to order — including prawn on toast, spring rolls and seaweed — had come free. We also asked for free prawn crackers as they’re free over a very low spend. When the meal arrived, we hadn’t been given our platter so assume the offer has changed. However, the meal was lovely regardless. We shared some of it; for example, I had some of Harley’s sweet & sour sauce and chips and they had some of Mum’s shredded chicken. Usually, whenever we used to order there was always dishes everyone wanted some of so it just made sense to share things if more than one person wanted it, rather than buying far too much. For the first time in a long time, when everyone had finished, after a couple of us had second helpings, there was hardly any food left over. Mostly, there’s always some stored in the fridge for someone’s lunch the following day. Everyone thanked Kieran lots because it had been a lovely meal and nice of him to offer to pay. I think Mum was especially grateful; she was starting to feel the tiredness of the night before catching up on her and seemed relieved she didn’t have to cook. That evening, we watched Jools Holland, DIY SOS, Gavin & Stacey and Naked Attraction. Introducing Mum and Simon to the audio description on Naked Attraction was very amusing. When Kieran and I went up to bed, we watched some Friday Night Dinner outtakes on YouTube.

Wednesday meant the last full day of our visit. On Thursday morning, we were catching the train at just after 10 so wouldn’t have any time to do anything. Mum and Simon took Suggs to his grooming appointment while we got up and sorted ourselves out. When they got back, they said they were going into town to get some bits done so I decided to go with them. Both Harley and Kieran said they didn’t want to come. We went to the bank, Pound Land, Primark, Wilco and McDonalds. The last place was because we were feeling hungry. Kieran hasn’t yet let it go, feeling he was cheated out of lunch. As I’ve pointed out, we couldn’t exactly bring them McDonalds home. From town, it would be freezing by the time we got it there. I had a double cheese burger, chips and a mango smoothie. When we got back and I told Kieran what we’d done, he assumed Harley would agree with his outrage. Disappointingly for him, Harley wasn’t that bothered.

Later on, Kieran cheered up quite a bit as we headed for the Harvester in Whiteley. He’d been browsing the menu for the last few days trying to decide what to have. In the end, he had jalapeño poppers for a starter and the dirty bird burger — a beef burger with a hash brown, bacon onion rings, lettuce gherkins and bbq sauce in it — for his main. I had a salad bowl from the unlimited salad bar, potato skins and the belly pork which came with mash and green beans. I changed my beans to peas. Mum had a salad bowl and chargrilled chicken skewers with bourbon sauce, chips and flatbread. Simon also had the belly pork but kept his greeen beans. The food was absolutely delicious! It’s the first time I’ve been completely impressed by a Harvester meal in quite a while. The fact that everyone else thoroughly enjoyed theirs proved my point. If I was choosing somewhere to go for a meal, I’d definitely go back there again soon as the service was great too, despite the fact that they were fully booked.

When we arrived back, we put Gavin & Stacey on Gold again but discovered they’d skipped to a completely diffferent part of the story from where we’d watched the previous night. So, as Mum has never watched it before, we decided to start watching from the beginning. I’m hoping she’s continued to watch.

The following morning, we got up early to make sure we had enough time to get ready and go to the train station. Originally, we were going to catch the bus straight there but then Mum said they’d give us a lift and squeeze in a McDonalds breakfast too. Obviously none of us were going to turn that down. The breakfast was lovely, especially the hash brown as always, and I was glad we were able to get a proper breakfast before the long trip ahead. But that’s a separate story… Mum and Simon drove us from McDonalds to the train station where of course Josh was waiting, as we were a few minutes later than our scheduled time. But there wasn’t a problem, we still had plenty of time to catch our train. Saying goodbye to Mum was hard. It didn’t feel like we’d had long together at all. But she’d had a great holiday and I was so glad; after the 18 months or so she’s been through she deserves it. Of course I wish we could have spent more time together. But hopefully next time we will. Giving her a big hug goodbye and walking away with Josh and Harley towards our awesome weekend ahead, I was so grateful to have come down for a visit, so glad I’d had such a great time and seen as many people as much as I could. It won’t be long, Southampton, and I’ll be back visiting again.