“The pink polo shirt man and the never-ending stairs” our Sunderland experience of Ed Sheeran

Continuing from where I finished in my last post… On Thursday 2 June, after a great week visiting everyone in Southampton for the first time since I moved away in March, Mum and Simon had dropped Kieran, Harley and I off at the train station, after a cheeky McDonald’s breakfast, and we’d met up with Josh ready for our long trip up North. We caught the 10:13 southern service to London Victoria, where we managed to get a table so we could all sit together during the journey. Before I go any further, I just want to point out that some of this post is written by my good pal Josh and the fact that I’m writing this post at all is thanks to his excellent blog notes he’s written for me, even if they were 3 pages long… In the end, I never noted anything down over the Ed weekend like I usually do when we’re together; there wasn’t any particular reason for this, just that I didn’t get round to it. But Josh very kindly wrote some notes for me from what he can remember from the weekend, supplemented by Kieran and Harley’s memories too. Obviously, my memory can’t be relied on for accuracy so I haven’t even tried. So, if there’s a lot of official train-related jargon in here it’s thanks to Josh.

We had our first change in the journey at East Croydon onto the 12:31 Thameslink service to Cambridge. At 1 o’clock, we arrived at ST Pancras, right on time, and the lovely assistance staff, who were dressed up in union flags and crowns for the Jubilee, guided us to Greggs, where we’d previously agreed to grab lunch because it was the most convenient option and everyone loves a Greggs. While we were walking, the assistance lady was convinced she’d met Kieran before, helping him a week earlier. Even though we explained several times that was actually impossible as he’d been in Southampton with me and nowhere near a train, she was still certain. Seems Kieran has a twin we never knew about roaming the London railway confusing poor assistance staff.

When we reached Greggs, we were all surprised how quiet it was. Due to the Jubilee and bank holiday weekend, Josh had warned us countless times how he predicted the trains and stations to be absolutely rammed and that as well as struggling to get around, we might not find seats on the train. So far, his theory was surprisingly untrue. Josh guided Kieran and Harley took me; Josh bought a 4 pack of sausage rolls and a 4 pack of jam doughnuts; Kieran bought 2 steak bakes; Harley bought a baguette and I got a sausage roll and a pack of 4 caramel shortbreads. Once we’d bought our lunch, we headed across the road to King’s Cross, passing a percussionist and an opera singer performing to celebrate the Jubilee. Then, we split up at Platform 9&¾ where Kieran and Josh joined the long queue for the platform, trolley and sign while Harley and I went into the busy merchandise shop; the plan being that Josh expected to be stood in the queue quite a while so would save time standing in line while we browsed the shop. Surprisingly, Harley and I only spent £25 between us. They chose 2 key rings, a pen and a pencil and I got a pencil, bus pass cover and fridge magnet. As we were wandering around the shop, which was quite crowded, Josh phoned to ask how long we were going to be as they’d already got near the front of the queue. Harley and I tried to hurry as we didn’t want them to lose their place and have to start right from the back again. As we emerged from the shop, quite pleased with ourselves for only spending a small amount, a member of staff came over to us and hurried us to the front of the line and in before the other people who were waiting. It was clearly a disabled perk or “speedy borders” as Kieran’s sister Rebecca would call it and I did feel a bit bad for the people who’d been patiently waiting their turn. Harley and I posed with the prop scarves and wands they gave us and Josh took photos of us holding onto the trolley handle and pointing our wands up to the platform sign.

Afterwards, we found a bench to sit on and ate our Greggs lunch. Harley managed to splatter themselves with their fizzy drink so I held mine away from me when opening it, but it was totally normal. Harley helped Josh find the assistance desk and the assistance staff guided us onto the 14:48 Lumo service to Edinburgh Waverley. As Harley and I settled into our seats, getting comfy in preparation for the 3 hour journey, some rather irritated passengers informed us we were in their seats. We explained that they must be mistaken because assistance staff had sat us in these seats. However, when they told us which seats we were in, it turned out they were right; the assistance staff had sat us in the wrong place. Thankfully, they decided to just sit in our seats in the row ahead. Josh and Kieran were sat a few rows behind so we couldn’t chat. But by Darlington we’d all got bored and all started texting each other funny messages, laughing out loud when we heard each other’s text tones going off.

We arrived into Morpeth right on schedule and Rebecca was there to collect us as arranged. She drove us back to our flat and not long after we’d got in, Imi text to say they were on their way. Her carer, Lauren, was doing the driving for her and assistance dog Sam. We were all very excited to see them. It had been 2 and a half years since Josh and I last saw her, 4 years for Kieran and 7 for Harley so a reunion really was overdue. When she arrived, there were big hugs all round, including Sam. When we’d been arranging the weekend, I’d assumed that Coco, my lovely cat who’s now getting on in age a bit, would be ok with Sam’s presence in the flat for a few days. However, it was soon clear this wasn’t the case. She hid under the coffee table in the corner of the living room and hissed menacingly at Sam, who just wanted to make friends. As Imi has Lucy the cat, Sam is very good around cats and everything would have been fine if Coco wasn’t such a grumpy cow. Sadly, her experience with dogs hasn’t been particularly pleasant. When we first brought her home, we had Tolly, the lovely little fluffy dog who Coco became friends with instantly. They used to share a bed and happily cuddle up together. After she died in 2012, Coco had a break but was then hassled by Marley, who bounded into everyone’s lives in 2015. Marley was a handful and terrible with cats. Sadly, he wasn’t with us long and from mid 2016 to early 2017, Coco was given another break. My Zena came next. Thankfully, she was pretty chilled out around cats but Coco had lost trust in dogs in general by that point and actively ignored her. Again, Zena wasn’t with us very long either. After that, I think Coco thought we wouldn’t subject her to any more canine residents. Unfortunately, she didn’t bet on Suggs, who came crashing into the household in October 2021. Suggs was worse than Marley and actively terrorised Coco. Before Suggs arrived, my plan was to leave Coco with Mum when I moved. She’d lived in that house her whole life and was happily settled there. Harley gave her a lot of attention so I didn’t think she’d miss me that much, even though she was primarily my cat. But then Suggs made her life pretty miserable and I didn’t feel comfortable leaving her behind with him there. Thankfully, she’s settled pretty well in the flat and despite always being an outdoor cat before, doesn’t seem bothered that she can’t go outside now. However, despite Sam’s best efforts to make friends, Coco’s hostility remained for Imi’s entire stay, escalating to growling both at Sam and Imi herself. I’d never heard a cat growl like that before and hope I don’t again. I hoped that as Sam was in the flat a couple of days, Coco would soon realise she wasn’t a threat. But it wasn’t to be. As I said to Imi, I think if they’d stayed longer or visited regularly, Coco would relax with time.

Once all the greetings were exchanged, Imi and Kieran decided they wanted to give me the belated birthday presents they had for me. As we’d been down in Southampton for my birthday, I hadnt seen any point in Kieran taking his presents down with him or Imi posting hers just for us to bring them back up again. It was something extra to look forward to as well. Kieran was very naughty and bought me the Colorino colour detector from the RNIB, which is very expensive but very good at differentiating colours. I’d had one whilst at college and it’d helped me massively when sorting my washing into lights and darks. It had broken a few years ago and I couldn’t justify the price of buying a replacement so had bought a cheaper less reliable version that hadnt been doing a very good job since I moved up here and needed to sort laundry regularly. Safe to say, now I’ve used it several times, the Colorino is still much more accurate. Kieran also bought me a soup maker as I’d said several times how I’d like to be able to make soups and smoothies. I’m yet to try that as some of the controls aren’t physical buttons. Kieran also had a gift bag of presents from his parents, containing a pair of slippers — because I’d desperately needed a pair to leave at theirs for when we visit instead of trying to remember to take some with me — and some lovely bath products, as while our shower had been broken I’d discovered how much I do like a bath, even if I’m not really supposed to have one due to my epilepsy. Kieran asked Lesley to get me some for when I have my sneaky illegal baths every now and then. Imi’s presents were lovely too. She added to my collection of fidget toys with a wiggly slug called Howard, who Harley had lots of fun fiddling with for the rest of the weekend; some lovely wax melts to go in my electric wax burner as I’ve become a bit obsessed with it; and a very fluffy Build A Bear niffler. Recently, Build A Bear have released cuddly toys from the Fantastic Beasts movies and the best one has to be the niffler. Now named Edward by Imi, my big fluffy niffler sits by my pillow on our bed, holding onto both his golden galleon coins, with mini niffler Teddy, who was my birthday gift from Harley, sat beside him. After I’d finished admiring my lovely presents and thanked them both lots for buying such thoughtful things, we all agreed we were quite hungry so decided to order food; Dominoes was chosen. Josh and Imi were “basic bitches” – his words, not mine – and had margarita each; I had a Hawaiian; Harley had a create your own with chicken, meatballs and garlic spread; Kieran had a meat feast. We took advantage of the Jubilee deal Dominoes had on, which gave you 2 medium pizzas, 2 sides and a portion of cookies for less than £25, so all we had to order extra was a 5th pizza. We agreed on potato wedges, 2 portions of cheesy garlic dough balls and garlic dippers. The food was as always lovely, although I thought my pizza base had lost some of its sauce along the way. In the end, we were up talking until 2am, eating leftover sides and cookies as we chatted.

The following morning, we got up around 10. In preparation for the concert that night, we listened to Masie Peters – one of the acts supporting Ed Sheeran on tour – 2021 debut album You Signed Up For This. I’d only heard it once before and had vague recollections of thinking it was good. Some of the songs were quite catchy and I was hopeful I’d enjoy her live. We agreed on McDonald’s for lunch/dinner that day. We were eating before the concert because it would be far too late afterwards and we didn’t want to be hungry during. Josh had a cheese burger and chips and was disappointed they didn’t have milkshakes on the delivery menu; Imi had a fillet of fish and chips; Harley had a cheese burger, 9 nuggets and chips; Kieran had a double cheese burger with added bacon and chips; I had a cheese burger, 6 nuggets and chips; we got a sharing box of the new cheesy garlic dippers between us. The food was very nice, especially as the app gave you the option to customise your burger, like you can at the self-service machines when you eat in, which pleased Harley and I very much because we’re always quite fussy with ours.

As arranged, Lauren, Rebecca and her boyfriend Dave arrived around 4pm and we were on our way to Sunderland by 4:15, Josh and Kieran in Rebecca’s car and Harley and I with Imi. Rebecca and Lauren parked in different car parks so they arrived at the Stadium of Light around 5:30 and us 15 minutes later. When we met up with them, we encountered the rudest steward I’ve ever met. We requested assistance to help us get to our seats, which we’re more than entitled to, and were at first told he had no staff available to help us. There was plenty of staff around. He then tried to tell us that in order to have someone guide us to our seats we should have booked a carer’s ticket so someone could take us. This, again, is untrue. Eventually, after many heated debates, with Rebecca being our quite forceful disabled advocate backed up by Lauren, the man eventually allowed Rebecca to take us all in. Lauren left with Sam because Imi was worried she’d get crushed as the stadium started to fill with people. The fact that he let Rebecca take us to our seats was almost as ridiculous as him suggesting that as disabled people we had to have a paid carer’s ticket in order to attend the show. Nobody came to check whether Rebecca had left the stadium after helping us so she could have quite easily stayed for free. Because of his arrogance and ignorance, we weren’t actually safely sat in our seats until after Dylan, the first support act, had started her set. Personally, I didn’t really enjoy either Dylan or Maisie Peters. As I’d quite liked her album earlier, I’d been hopeful I’d enjoy Maisie live. I don’t know if it’s just how she sounds live, the sound equipment she used or the fact that the stadium was still pretty empty while she was performing, but I just didn’t think she sounded good. Thankfully, the boys enjoyed both support acts. Of course, the main act lived up to and massively exceeded expectations. Josh, Kieran and I had been worried beforehand that because he’d been so great at St James’s when we saw him live 4 years ago, we could be disappointed if this time wasn’t as great. But I’d go as far as to say it was better!. At the start, we all said the songs we’d most love to hear him play and somehow we all got at least one of our choices. The whole set list was just incredible and I think we did a pretty good job of making Harley’s first ever concert a great one. We were all singing along at the tops of our voices and Harley got plenty of photos and videos so we have physical evidence to support our memories. The cost of the tickets was yet again well worth it.

Of course, we could have sat there all night singing along if he’d played that long, but when Ed’s performance did sadly come to an end, we sat where we were for quite a while, letting the stadium empty out so that hopefully it wouldn’t be quite so crowded as we tried to leave. Once we were with Rebecca, Dave and Lauren, the boys went with them while Harley and I followed Laure, who’d reunited a very relieved Sam with Imi. On our way out, Imi felt quite ill so we stopped for a while. A very interfering drunk woman, who claimed she was a nurse, wouldn’t take our word for it that Imi would be ok in a few minutes and to let Lauren do her job and look after her. She repeatedly asked Lauren if she was medically trained and wouldn’t take Lauren’s assurance that she was. In the end, the three of us had to be quite forceful in telling her to get lost because she was really upsetting Imi. Eventually, she buggered off and once Imi was sure she felt well enough to move, we slowly made our way back to her car.

Once we were all back at the flat, we talked for a little while before heading to bed. Coco had hidden under the coffee table in the living room again but somehow Kieran and Harley managed to herd her into the kitchen while Imi used the bathroom.

On Saturday morning, despite saying we’d get up at 9 and possibly go for a walk on the beach, we dragged ourselves out of bed around 9:30 and were completely exhausted; going for a walk anywhere wasn’t an option. Kieran cooked breakfast of sausage, bacon and hash browns for himself and Imi; Josh decided to eat his jam doughnuts from Thursday’s train journey for his; Harley made pasta with garlic mayo, ham and cheese in for the two of us. It was pretty nice. Far too soon, at around 12:30 Lauren arrived to collect Imi and Sam to drive them home. We all hugged very tight and vowed we wouldn’t let it be so long until we saw each other next time. After Imi left, Josh and Harley took a little wander to the nearby Tesco Express to buy themselves snacks and drinks for their train trip home the following day. Unlike ours on Thursday, they wouldn’t have time to stop and get a meal at the station. Once they were back, we just chilled in the living room for the rest of the afternoon. We put the England vs Hungary football match on but it was rubbish (0-1). Then, we introduced Josh to Naked Attraction with audio description on. I have to add here, as Naked Attraction was also watched in my last post, that we only watch it because the audio description is funny, not because we’re interested in the show. After we’d had a bit of fun watching that, we watched Russell Howard’s Right Here Right Now live show; he always manages to make me laugh loads. When we all decided we were hungry, we chose yet another takeaway option for our tea. Well why not? It was a treat weekend. Anyway, I don’t think Kieran or I are quite up to cooking at the standard that’s required for guests yet. Josh had a jumbo sausage and chips; Kieran had a mixed wrap, chips and Smokey sausage; I had a cheesy chips wrap with curry sauce and a jumbo sausage; Harley had chicken nuggets and chips. Trying a wrap full of cheesy chips and curry sauce was a first for me. When I’d chosen the wrap and it’d asked for choice of sauce, as usual we hadn’t been sure whether that meant the sauce would come in a pot on the side or in the wrap itself. At first, I was a bit dubious on finding the sauce in the wrap whether it’d be nice or not. Turns out it’s lovely and definitely something I’d like to have again. Although, the strangest thing about that takeaway’s menu is that when you order a cheesy chips wrap, you have to have it with either salad or chips; there’s no option to have none. As someone who isn’t a salad fan, I had to pick chips. I think it’s a shame they don’t just have a none option. Obviously, it’s necessary for other wraps that don’t contain chips but was a bit of a waste of food with mine. We then watched the Jubilee Platinum Party, which wasn’t that great.

Since we’d first started talking about me moving to live with Kieran, something Harley was hoping to have if they came to visit was a takeaway pudding. Kieran introduced me to a takeaway pudding place, Buzz Bar, that has now closed down on one of my many stays at Lesley and John’s. It instantly became something I loved. I’ve always been a pudding person and discovering there were places that just delivered puddings was quite a revelation. After Buzz Bar shut down, we tried a different pudding place, Movie Foods, and found it was also lovely. When the Ed tickets were booked and we knew everyone would be staying at the flat with us, I promised Harley we’d get a takeaway pudding one of the nights they were here. So we did. Josh had the Cadbury’s collection cookie dough; Kieran had a lotus biscoff milkshake with extra biscoff, a chocolate fudge cake and a slice of school cake for later; Harley had a reese’s pieces peanut butter milkshake with added kitkat, oreo loaded doughnuts and a kinder cookie dough box with added aero bubbles, Cadbury whispa, oreo crumbs and white chocolate sauce (they saved the doughnuts for later); I had a reese’s pieces peanut milkshake plus extra reese’s, a create your own cookie dough that had Belgian white chocolate, caramel sauce, marshmallows and oreo crumbs on it and a milky bar button cheesecake for the following day. Safe to say after that we were all very full. It was worth it though.

As Harley and Josh needed to be at the station for their train which was scheduled to leave at 12:03, we decided to get up at 8 on Sunday morning. Kieran cooked Harley sausage, hash browns and beans but Josh didn’t want anything. Josh checked on their train just before 11 and found it hadn’t departed yet and then there was a long delay. For quite some time, Josh and Kieran were looking into options to get them home. At one point, we were seriously considering the possibility that they’d have to stay an extra night because all the other available trains were full. Thankfully, their original train eventually departed Edinburgh so Rebecca and David came to take them to the station. In the end, their train departed Morpeth at 14:17 with them stressed but safely onboard. Two hours later than planned, Harley and Josh arrived into Southampton Central, a relief for us all.

Apart from the assistance staff putting Harley and I in the wrong seats on our journey up, the idiotic steward at the stadium being completely out of order, Imi sadly being poorly after the concert and the stressful couple of hours when we weren’t sure whether Harley and Josh were going to be able to get home, we really did have an amazing few days. Getting the 4 of us together doesn’t happen very often and it was made even better by having Harley with us. I miss my tiny sister a lot and every time I see them I’m reminded that they really aren’t little any more, even if they will always be a small person to me. They’re turning into an adult and that is so strange for me. It won’t be long before it’s them in their own car collecting Kieran and I from the airport when we go down to visit. It only seems like yesterday that they were starting school in Nan’s knitted jumpers with the school badge sewn on because even the smallest size school uniform was far too big. Yet they’re about to finish their first year at college and considering finding a summer job. I really don’t know where time goes. But it was so great to take them to their first ever concert. Having a few days with us all together was just so nice and I really hope we keep our promise of not letting it be so long until we do it again.

Big thanks for all your help to Rebecca, Dave and Lauren, especially when that steward was being a proper twat; I think you should go into disabled advocacy, Rebecca, because I don’t think anyone would dare discriminate against anyone after you’d finished with them. Lots of thanks to Josh, who booked the concert tickets and as always took control of the train journeys and made them a success, but especially for making sure Harley got home safe. Thank you, Imi, for being brave and coming to see us. You’ve had the toughest year this year and I’m so glad you felt you were able to come. It wouldn’t have been the same without you and it was so good to spend time with you at last, and of course have lots of cuddles with lovely Sam. But most of all, to all 4 of you for the best weekend I think any of us have had in a long time. I’m so glad we decided to book tickets to Ed and that you 3 could come and stay at the flat with Kieran and I. Come back soon! Although that’s not an invite to come every weekend, Josh…

PS: Imi suggested the blog title this time. When I eventually got around to thinking about writing a post for this weekend, I couldn’t remember a single line we’d said, except “Fucking Ed Sheeran” in memory of Imi’s lovely dad Mike, who sadly passed away far too soon at the beginning of this year. As much as I would have liked to use that, I thought it was going a little too far. As well as the one I’ve chosen, Imi had these suggestions: “4 blind people and a them take on the stadium of shite”, “my bad habits lead to maccies”, “Edding out”, “who the fuck is Dylan”, “Josh who could pass as a butch woman”, “scoffing the Queen’s Dominoes meal deal”, “Sam v Coco and the unresolved conflict”, “shivers me timbers” and “the pyro was so good I could see it”. However, I went for “pink polo shirt man and the never-ending stairs” to represent the crazy drunk man who was sat nearby us during the show. Several times he fell over, perhaps in his excitement for the show. Each time we went to the loo or when we entered and left the show, those stairs really did feel never-ending. My favourite was definitely “4 blind people and a them take on the stadium of shite” but although my only readers are the women in Kieran’s family Kieran himself, Josh and Harley, I didn’t want some random person to stumble across it and complain because they thought I was being ableist, homophobic or swearing. But it definitely was the funniest and pretty much sums up the weekend perfectly.

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