“Don’t tickle my smelly armpit”: another visit down south

On the 24^th of May, it was time for another trip down south, mainly so I could see everyone down there again but also to celebrate my birthday. Unlike most of the times before, this time it was John who picked us up around 4:30 and took us to the airport because Lesley had tested positive for covid. We arrived at the airport quite early but still checked in fine. Assistance came quickly but sadly weren’t quite up to the usual excellent standard we’ve come to expect at Newcastle airport. Even so, we just about got through security and boarded the plane on time. It was late taking off due to staffing issues. However, it was a smooth flight and we landed in Southampton at around ten to eight. After we’d retrieved our suitcase, assistance guided us into arrivals where Dad and Harley were waiting. On the way home, we stopped off at Tesco so I could buy Mum some flowers to celebrate the all clear scan and blood results she’d received the previous day. After 6 chemotherapy sessions and an operation before that after her second cancer diagnosis, she definitely deserves some good news at last. I don’t for one second take for granted how damn lucky we are that she’s still here. A shop-bought bunch of flowers was nowhere near good enough to tell her how happy I was for this good news and how proud of her I am for going through it like a champion. I cringe at all the well-worn things people say to/about cancer patients, like they’re survivors and heroes and fighters. But I guess she is. As an extra treat, I also bought everyone a Krispy Kreme doughnut: Biscoff for Kieran and I, lemon for Mum, hazelnut for Dad and brownie for Harley. Somehow, Dad managed to eat his as he drove us to Mum’s, shoving the whole thing in his mouth. After all the hugs and hellos, Mum served us slow cooked garlic chicken with new potatoes. It was very nice. We spent the rest of the evening watching the finale of Hell’s Kitchen.

 

After breakfast the following morning, Mum and I went into town so I could buy birthday presents for Harley’s upcoming 18^th and Father’s Day gifts for Dad. On our way to catch the bus home, we popped into Asda for a bit of shopping and bought a French stick so everyone could have rolls for lunch. I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in the sunshine in Mum’s back garden with Kieran, who quickly got sunburnt. That evening, Mum cooked burgers and homemade chips for dinner. She’d bought a selection of burgers so we all chose what we fancied from beef with cheese and bacon, chicken or lamb. They were very tasty. We watched Top Gun Maverick and a Tina Turner concert one of the channels was showing because it’d been announced she’d passed away.

 

Friday was another boiling hot day so Kieran and I spent it soaking up the sun in Mum’s garden. She covered us both in strong sun cream after seeing how quickly Kieran burns. That night, while Harley was out celebrating a friend’s 18^th birthday and Simon had his daughter visiting, Mum cooked a picky bits buffet-style tea. It suited the warm weather very well. It included mini sausage rolls, cocktail sausages, little duck spring rolls, chicken strips, chicken dippers, spicy chicken bits, BBQ chicken wings, pepperoni pizza and new potatoes. We had chocolate bar ice creams afterwards. We watched Catch Phrase while we ate and Travels With My Father after Simon had taken his daughter home.

 

On Saturday, we went to Go Outdoors, B&M and a healthy food pet shop before dropping everything home and going to The Red Lion Wetherspoons for some food. I had quorn nuggets, haloumi fries and curry chips; Simon and Kieran both had fish and chips; Harley had sausage and mash; and Mum went for the chicken bites basket. It wasn’t the best Wetherspoons meal I’ve had but it was nice to go out somewhere for food and to try something new there. Turns out I quite like their quorn nuggets. Just after we got home, a boat horn started blaring and I smiled a lot when I recognised that it was the Disney boat. It used to be at Southampton docks playing its tune often when I lived at Mum’s and we’d always shouted to each other when we’d heard it. It had been there this time last year, too, and it made me happy to hear it again. Kieran listened to the Coventry vs Luton championship play off match, which Luton won on penalties, meaning they got promoted. Later on, we watched Britain’s Got Talent and some boxing with Mum and Simon.

 

Around a quarter past one the next day, after Mum and Simon had left for a day out in town, Dad picked the three of us up and drove to KFC so we could buy food for everyone to take to Nan and Grandad’s. When we arrived, there was big hugs all round. It’s always great to see them but even more so since Grandad had a stroke in December. He’s changed a lot and it always makes me sad to see him as he is now. But that good old Grandad spirit is definitely still there. While we enjoyed the KFC, Nan had 60s music playing and Grandad kept naming the artists, getting the majority of them spot on; Elvis, Bill Haley and Roy Orbison had always been some of his favourites. I was very pleased that Grandad enjoyed the KFC. He managed a chicken strip, some mash potato, a couple of popcorn chicken balls, beans and some gravy. Afterwards, Nan surprised me with her lovely homemade apple crumble, which has always been my favourite thing she cooks since I was little. For years, going to Nan and Grandad’s for a meal on Wednesday afternoon was a tradition. Since Dad moved to live slightly further away and Nan became Grandad’s full-time carer, which is very draining for her, Wednesday dinners have become a thing of the past. They are some of my fondest memories of times with Nan and Grandad. Once we’d finished all the food, also including a bowl of sweets Nan had put on the table for everyone to share, Harley and I walked to the little shop around the corner to get Nan some milk. As we arrived back, Grandad’s carers had turned up for their third visit of the day. Nan and Grandad like to call them “his boys” because he doesn’t like them referred to as carers. Not long after they left, it was time for the football to start. It was the final day of the premier league season and a fixture I look forward to every year… Southampton vs Liverpool. It was a Southampton home match and although I’d looked, I hadn’t been able to purchase tickets to go. It felt weird being back in my hometown to listen to them play my team. Sadly, Southampton had already been relegated from the premier league by this point and Liverpool were unable to claim a champion’s league place. It was a great game, which we listened to on BBC Radio Solent via grandad’s little radio, and ended 4-4. Meanwhile, Kieran was listening to Chelsea vs Newcastle which also finished a draw at 1-1. During the game, Grandad took me completely by surprise when he asked where one of the Liverpool players, who they’d recently announced was leaving the club at the end of the season, was going. It made me so happy because it just shows that he is still aware of what’s happening and taking onboard some new information, even if it doesn’t stay in his memory for long. Another thing I was pleased about was that, after my suggestion, Nan tried Grandad drinking from a Greggs reusable cup and it was a success. She’d told me that he’d been struggling drinking from the straws we’d bought him to try last time and I’d wondered if the opening on a travel cup might be more suitable. Seems it worked. Around half past six, Dad decided it was time to head home. Just like last time, I have some funny quotes from Grandad to make me smile when I need it. First of all, Nan told us how, when he’d first woken up that morning, he’d turned to her and said, very seriously, “I’ve got some news… Martin’s lost his job again”. This had us all laughing, although hoping it wasn’t a premonition. The second was much more personal to Nan and Grandad, involving him casually asking her “well did you enjoy it?” and when she asked him what he was talking about he replied, “the sex”. If nothing else, it’s good amusement, bless him. The actual blog title for this post came after we were home, while Harley, Kieran and I were messing around and making each other laugh. I said “don’t tickle my smelly armpit” and it seemed to stick.

 

The following day brought my 26th birthday. I’m officially feeling very old. After we’d showered, we went downstairs where Mum had put up a balloon, banners and sprinkled confetti on the table in the front room. She always enjoys making a big fuss on our birthday, hence the crazy amount of presents she always buys. This year was no different. Amongst other things, she’d bought me a birthstone Pandora charm; lots of body shop products; some wax melts; essential oils; a microwaveable heat pack; Lush bath bombs, conditioner bar and shampoo bar; a funny Harry Potter shower cap; a Harry Potter luggage tag; a Liverpool mug. Harley gave me a cool pineapple window sign and a fidget ring; a bottle of coconut Body Shop perfume from Simon; Vouchers and money from Kieran’s family; a cool sisters Pandora charm from Imi which splits into two halves so we have one each. The only sadness was that nobody put the Stevie Wonder birthday song on, which has been a tradition in that house for as long as I can remember. Around one o’clock, we went into town and to a few shops before going up to Pizza Hut in West Quay to meet Dad, Michelle, Nan and Auntie Clare for my birthday meal. The best part about the whole thing was that Nan was able to join us. Since Grandad came home from hospital, she’s barely been out anywhere, not having many people to sit with him if she wanted to go out and not feeling it’s right to ask them. But together Auntie Clare and I had insisted this time. It was weird enough not having Grandad there with us, I didn’t want Nan to miss out too. Once everyone was there, I opened the gifts they’d given me. First, from Dad and Michelle, I got  the new 23-24 Liverpool women’s home shirt with Paige 26 printed on the back, some body shop goodies and a personalised Liverpool birthday card. Then, a card and money from Nan. Next, a big bag of body shop products from my good pal Sam (Josh, who has chosen the name Sam and she/her pronouns for herself as she identifies as a transgender woman). Finally, a dog Pandora charm from Auntie Clare. By this point, I was feeling thoroughly spoilt as I’d also received presents from Kieran in the form of gift vouchers for Pandora and Zizi that arrived by email overnight. The food was lovely. I had a salad bowl containing grated carrot, beetroot, sweet corn, peppers, crispy bacon bits and garlic mayo; a stuffed crust Hawaiian pizza with added mushrooms; and a white chocolate salted caramel cookie dough for pudding. Kieran had a stuffed crust spicy meat feast pizza and shared some of the new cheesy melts with Harley. Harley themselves had a bowl of salad and a create your own pizza with a BBQ base, chicken and ham and a chocolate chip cookie dough for pudding. Both Dad and Michelle had salad bowls and shared a portion of cheesy melts, some corn on the cob and a meat feast pizza with added peppers and mushrooms. Again, Mum and Simon had salad bowls and shared a meat feast pizza with added mushrooms. Auntie Clare and Nan also decided to share a pizza, going for half and half so they could both have what they wanted; they both had salad bowls and shared a portion of onion rings. The only complaint was that the choice at the salad bar was very limited. Just before our puddings arrived, everyone began singing happy birthday to me and a millionaire’s shortbread cake arrived, arranged by Mum. After the bill had been paid, I said goodbye to Dad and Michelle and the rest of us went downstairs to Pandora. I wanted Nan to help me choose a charm to represent herself on my bracelet. She chose a lovely sun, moon and stars dangling charm because she often puts moon and stars emojis at the end of her goodnight text messages. Lovely staff member Debbie was great at describing all of the charms with me and guiding my hands over them to show me the smaller details. She was also very intrigued by my Pandora necklace, which I’ve been adding to since 2016 and is now full. She seemed really happy to see some of the old charms they no longer sell. Later that evening, we watched more Britain’s Got Talent and I had a slice of my birthday cake, which was very nice but incredibly sweet; Mum knows my taste well. Overall, it was a pretty great birthday. I was thoroughly spoilt by everyone, was able to see most of my family and enjoyed a really lovely meal out.

 

After the busy day before, we enjoyed a few hours chilling in Mum’s back garden the next day. I ate my leftover pizza for breakfast and it was just as nice cold. Around 5 o’clock, we caught the bus into town so that I could claim my free Costa slice of cake, which is a reward you get on the Costa Club app when it’s your birthday, and use a body shop voucher. Primarily, though, we’d gone into town to meet my friend Tiny, his wife Nicky and gorgeous guide dog Millsey for dinner. We’d agreed on TGI Fridays and it turned out to be a good choice. Kindly, Tiny and Nicky had bought me a cool sequin birthday card of a football that changed colour if you moved the sequins up and down and a posh pizza slicer; this was because when they came to visit Kieran and I in December we’d had a conversation about how hard it is to cut up pizza without losing all your toppings. For the meal, I had the starter, fries and refill drink for £10 deal, choosing the Jack Daniels glazed sesame chicken strips. Mum and Harley also chose this deal, sharing two of them between them, having the loaded potato skins and Jack Daniels glazed sesame chicken strips. Kieran, Tiny and Nicky all went for the other good deal on, a starter and main course for £20. Kieran had sticky wings and the Fridays burger; Tiny chose the loaded potato skins and Fridays burger; Nicky went for Jack Daniels glazed sesame chicken strips and the quesadilla. Everyone seemed to agree the food was excellent. Even Millsey received good customer service as he was offered a bowl of water, a huge floor space to stretch out on and was left alone by the staff and other diners. It was so nice to see Tiny and Nicky again and I hope we can meet up again when I’m visiting or they have to come up north for work-related things at Guide Dogs. Once we were home, it was more Britain’s Got Talent. Mum got the song One More Time by Daft Punk stuck in her head after it was used in one of the act’s performances and kept singing it as we got ready for bed. I couldn’t stop laughing and she kept singing it every time she heard me giggle. I commented that she’d end up singing it in her sleep.

 

Auntie Clare picked Kieran, Harley and I up around half past ten the following morning and took us to Nan and Grandad’s. Nan needed to go out to do her weekly shopping so we’d arranged for the three of us to stay with Grandad while Auntie Clare took Nan out. It was nice to be able to help Nan out and even better that I was able to spend a bit more time with the three of them while I was visiting. Grandad was in good spirits again. I did my best to make conversation with him, asking him what he’d had for breakfast and whether he’d watched Britain’s Got Talent as I knew Nan sometimes did. Even though I listed as many options as I could think of, he couldn’t recall what he’d had for breakfast. But he did remember watching Britain’s Got Talent and the crazy guy who’d put a sword down his throat. Also, at one point he asked Kieran whether there was any sport on and they were able to have a little conversation about that. Around two o’clock, after Grandad’s “boys” had been for their lunchtime visit, Nan and Auntie Clare arrived with Greggs for lunch. We had sausage rolls and Yum Yums which were very nice. Just after three, Auntie Clare took Kieran, Harley and I back to hers for the rest of the afternoon. I gave Nan and Grandad big hugs before I left, trying to explain to Grandad that I’d see him next time I was visiting. I always feel that extra bit of sadness saying goodbye to them these days. I’m very aware that they’re both getting older and Grandad especially isn’t in the best of health any more. While Kieran and I lounged on the comfy sofa in Auntie Clare’s conservatory with crazy pup Teddy, Harley and Auntie Clare made cookie dough for our pudding. When Uncle Dave arrived, we all decided what we wanted from the Chinese takeaway and Auntie Clare phoned through to order. Uncle Dave went to collect it and we all enjoyed sharing curry chips, special fried rice, sweet & sour chicken balls, mini vegetable spring rolls and chicken chow mein. The food was very tasty and made a great combination for everyone. The homemade cookie dough pudding was also very nice and we were all very full afterwards. Later on, at home with Mum we watched more Britain’s Got Talent.

 

The following morning, Jenny popped round for a coffee and a catch up. She bought me some very cute birthday gifts of a handmade birthday card, dog patterned oven glove and little Labrador key ring. It was really good to see her again and nice to catch up. In the afternoon, Mum, Harley and I caught the bus into town, grabbed some snacks and drinks from the little Tesco Express nearby and went to the Mayflower to see the Disney’s Winnie the Pooh production I’d bought tickets to for Mum’s birthday. It was a kids show really but Mum loves Winnie the Pooh and it sounded like it’d be fun, which it was. We were definitely the oldest people without little children there by a mile but I didn’t care; Mum enjoyed it so it had the intended affect. That evening, Mum cooked chicken and chips with warm bread for dinner. It felt like a very summery meal. Afterwards, we had fudge cake and watched yet more Britain’s Got Talent.

 

Friday was spent in and out of the garden. The weather was still hot and Kieran was adding to his tan. I read two books: Sandi Lewis’s Living with Max, her first-hand experience of having a child with Down’s Syndrome, and foster carer Louise Allen’s Billy’s Story, which is her memoir of the sickening state little Billy was in when he was placed in her care and the horrors that emerged about what he’d been through. Although these fostering memoirs sound quite bleak, I really enjoy reading them to get a better understanding of what being a foster carer is like and the circumstances some children come from leading to them having to go into care. It’s strange because I feel like saying I enjoy those kinds of books is offensive to the children they’re written about considering the hardships they’ve been through. I guess “find them interesting” sounds just as bad but I don’t know how else to describe it. That night, Simon and Mum drove to the kebab van we’ve always loved and bought food back for everyone. Kieran and I shared a large mixed kebab with large chips. Mum and Simon did the same; Harley had chicken nuggets and chips. The food was lovely as always. We’d dithered between a Chinese takeaway or kebab and I was very glad kebab won. Yet more Britain’s Got Talent on the TV.

 

Around midday on Saturday, Simon drove the five of us to the nearby Mayfield Nurseries, a volunteer run small garden centre and café. Technically, it is within walking distance but is a bit too far for Mum, who’s still recovering from the after effects of surgery and chemo; plus, it was pretty hot out. We enjoyed a nice lunch: ham and cheese sandwich, triple chocolate brownie and a strawberry milkshake for Harley; a biscoff blondie and biscoff milkshake for me; an apple and cinnamon cake with a biscoff milkshake for Kieran; a raspberry & white chocolate cake and a coke for Mum; tuna mayo sandwich, slice of carrot cake and a chocolate milkshake for Simon. It’s a lovely little place and the food and drinks are all very fresh, being handmade by the volunteer staff. Later on, Mum and Simon went out to meet some friends to celebrate one of their birthdays. The three of us decided to order takeaway: cheesy chips and breaded garlic mushrooms for me; cheese burger with BBQ sauce for Harley, who had a few of my cheesy chips; Kieran had a burger with cheese, bacon and chilis and some chips; we shared a garlic bread. We watched an episode of Gogglebox and a documentary about Ed Sheeran. When they’d come home from their night out, Mum and Simon ordered a curry. Two more potential blog titles came that evening, one thanks to Suggs “he keeps getting his willy out” because he kept rubbing it across Mum’s fluffy mat in the front room and “I want my curry” said continuously by Mum who was staring out of the bedroom window waiting for the delivery driver to arrive.

 

At a quarter to one on Sunday, Kieran and I walked to the nearby bus stop so we could catch the bus into town to meet Sam. However, there was delays on the busses so Mum, Simon and Harley picked us up and took us into town on their way to Tesco. Once with Sam, we caught the 14:03 train to Bournemouth. After that, we got on the bus that dropped us off near The Moon In The Square Wetherspoons. We’d decided it’d be a good idea to have a meal there and sit there as long as we could before going to the Bournemouth International Centre (BIC) to see Russell Howard perform his latest stand-up tour. I had scampi and chips with mushy peas and some haloumi fries; I did order some curry sauce but it never came. Kieran and Sam had chicken burgers and chips and Kieran ordered some extra onion rings, not realising his meal already had some included. While Kieran and Sam had more drinks, I had the cookie dough sandwich, which was lovely although not warm like the description claims. At a quarter past six, we left the pub and went for a wander along Bournemouth beach. Another potential blog title came here when, as we walked, I kept saying “doughnuts” then “weed” repeatedly as the smells wafted. Russell Howard’s show had us all crying with laughter. It’s definitely the funniest live show we’ve been to in a while. Also, the reason the tour name hadn’t been found when we searched for was revealed… because he’d named the show “lucky jizz”. Dad and Michelle picked us up after the show. Sam, Kieran and Dad all enjoyed singing along to his rather diverse playlist on the way home.

 

As usual, the last day of our visit had arrived too soon. At first, this trip seemed to go nice and slowly, because it was longer than it normally is, but towards the end it flew by. We spent most of the day sat in Mum’s garden soaking up the warm weather. The forecast said Blyth was a whole 10 degrees cooler. At 4pm, Mum cooked us meatballs and nachos with garlic bread. We’d wanted to have a meal before we left because it would be late by the time we got home and there was no way we were going to cook or order something by then. Plus, I always enjoy it when Mum makes nachos with meatballs. Again,, it didn’t disappoint. By the time Dad, with Michelle and Sam, picked us up around a quarter past six to go to the airport, I was still feeling very nicely full. Big hugs all round for Mum and Harley. As always, it felt horrible saying goodbye again. My next trip to Southampton is scheduled for July to celebrate Harleys’ 18^th birthday. I still can’t quite believe they’re going to be a legal adult. If me turning 26 didn’t manage to make me feel old, Harley reaching 18 certainly does.

 

So another great visit home has come and gone. It was really great that I managed to spend so much time with all my family. But it’s never long enough. I was treated to a really excellent birthday and am so glad I managed to spend it with everyone, although it was sad Grandad and Sam weren’t there. It’s amazing to see Mum recovering from her chemotherapy. She did really well throughout the treatment, only having relatively minor side effects. The fact that she lost all her hair was the hardest thing she had to deal with. But it’s growing back lovely now; she’s certainly grumpy that she has to shave her legs again! Getting extra time with Dad was nice too, due to his new work schedule that gives him more days off each week. It was especially great to spend a couple of lovely days with Nan and Grandad. I miss them a lot and FaceTime isn’t quite as good as being there in person. Of course, takeaway with Auntie Clare and Uncle Dave plus the meal out with Tiny and catch up with Jenny were great bonuses. I can’t wait to be able to see everyone again in just over a month. Hopefully, we’ll be lucky with some more nice weather so we can enjoy Mum’s garden again. Although it’s heated up considerably up here now, the temperature really was 10 degrees cooler when we landed and it was quite a shock to the system.

“Harley up” and “ show us your legs Colin”

After 4 months of not seeing them, it was time for a southern family reunion. As arranged, once they were ready – Dad insisted on a haircut and some lunch in a less than nice local café before leaving – Dad, Michelle, Harley (Tamsin) and Josh sat in Dad’s car for 7 hours and headed north, arriving at our flat at around 10:30. Of course, after that length of time spent in a car plus multiple stops – Josh claims only 2 of them were his fault – everyone was pretty tired. But it was so great to see them. They took advantage of our facilities, Dad going for the crisps and coffee and Michelle opting for some of Kieran’s beer. While we chatted, Dad gave Kieran and I the little presents they’d bought back from their recent holiday to Tenerife. Kieran and I had a football magnet each, obviously his Newcastle and mine Liverpool, a tea towel and another magnet that said Tenerife. I immediately put the magnets up on the front of the fridge, which is now pretty full. After they’d finished their refreshments – and Dad had fully slated Kieran’s music selection playing on the multi-room system – they headed off for the night to their hotel. Josh, Kieran, Harley and I stayed up another hour and a half just chatting.

 

On Saturday morning, Kieran cooked himself and Josh sausage sandwiches for breakfast. Harley and I decided not to join them because we thought Dad and Michelle would soon arrive for our shopping spree to the Metrocentre. We soon realised we were mistaken when they didn’t arrive until 12:30, after indulging in the hotel breakfast. By this time, Harley and I were pretty hungry and a bit annoyed. However, we were soon on our way. I’ve never been to the Metrocentre before and after being repeatedly warned by Kieran it was rubbish, I was quite pleased to find I enjoyed our day out shopping. Back down south, we usually spent most weekends at a city centre of some kind, not always Southampton itself. It was just a thing. It seems that isn’t normal for many families but it was our routine. The Metrocentre is huge and had loads of shops we browsed. I particularly liked a stall selling all things smelling lovely. I bought some wax melts to use in my electric burner. They’ve become something I love. I’ve always liked smelly candles but am always worried about lighting them. Mum sent me a battery operated lighter thing but I’m still nervous about the flame. Wax melts in my electric burner are a great alternative and smell just as good, without the safety risk. The melts I bought smelt like some of my favourite scents: Lush product Snow Fairy and Dove soap. I’ve since tried the soap one and it’s lovely. Harley and I also browsed Primark, with Harley treating themselves to a scarf and cardigan and me some fleecy Garfield pyjamas and a fluffy thing that’s a mix between a dressing gown and a hoodie. It probably has some trendy name or something but I have no clue. The dressing gown hoodie thing was patterned with mushrooms, something Harley chose because mushroom used to be my nickname at secondary school. Thankfully, it never stuck, although strangely Dad still uses it sometimes. We finally got our much needed food when we stopped at KFC. We were pretty greedy, ordering quite a lot for two people, and ended up taking the remainder of our popcorn chicken home in Harley’s rucksack. Back at the flat, Josh and Kieran were having “a lovely afternoon chilling out and watching sport”. As I was a bit lazy, Josh has helped me out by writing his own blog notes, which I’m relying on heavily for this first week. Kieran was very pleased with Newcastle’s match, where “they battered 10 man Fulham 4-1 at the cottage”. Unfortunately, Josh was less impressed with Southampton who, despite taking the lead early in the second half, were beaten 2-1 by Everton, who scored those goals in as many minutes. This was made worse as Josh “went to the kitchen to grab a celebratory Pepsi” and by the time he returned Saints were losing. Due to the excitement, both boys had a nap during half time. Josh claims that’s “cos we’re old lol”.

 

Our mammoth shopping trip meant we didn’t arrive back until 8:30, by which time Kieran had ordered our takeaway tea, which we went halves on as a treat for everyone. Apparently, cheesy chips were a popular option as everyone except Harley, who had chips with Bolognese instead, ordered them. Dad and Michelle shared a donner meat, Josh had a margarita pizza and Kieran had a meat feast pizza; Kieran also bought some mozzarella sticks to share and we were given a garlic bread free with our order. The food was lovely. Dad and Michelle headed back to their hotel around 10. The four of us spent the rest of the night watching Friday Night Dinner.

 

As Dad had requested, on Sunday we went for lunch out at Sambuca’s. On the weekend I’d moved in, Dad had thoroughly enjoyed his chicken kiev, even if he didn’t eat it all because he’d splurged on a cooked breakfast beforehand, and was looking forward to having another. Instead of having my usual tuna and garlic pizza, I decided to try the kiev as well. Michelle and Kieran chose roast dinners, Josh had a chicken Voldostano – I’ve relied on his spelling for this – and Harley had a spaghetti bolognese. As always, it was a lovely meal. After we arrived home, in Josh’s words: “M&M pissed off to the hotel for the rest of the afternoon so we just chilled out”. M&M is the nickname Josh and I came up for Martin and Michelle when they first got together and we couldn’t stand the idea of it. We watched Manchester City batter Manchester United 6-3 while Josh watched “a chaotic Singapore GP which featured crashes a plenty in the wet weather”. Afterwards, We watched Leeds vs Aston Villa, which was “god awful” and ended 0-0. To brighten the mood, we watched more Friday Night Dinner and finally convinced Harley to join Facebook. Kieran and I had been wanting them to join for ages, mainly because when we check in at places out it feels weird tagging everyone else and leaving Harley out. Sometime during the afternoon, Lesley turned up with Gill and jack russel Bailey. She’d bought us a homemade Victoria sponge cake, which we quickly tucked into after they’d left. Around 8:30, Dad and Michelle finally reappeared, Michelle bringing beer and chocolate cake. We decided to play some quiz shows and had a go at The Hit List, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and Jimmy Carr’s I Literally Just Told You. Josh and Michelle particularly enjoyed the last one. Kieran was as always good at The Hit List and when he joined in, so was Dad.

 

Sadly, on Monday morning it was time for Dad, Michelle and Harley to head back down south. It was so great to have them up to visit and although it’s always hard saying goodbye, this time I wouldn’t have long to wait as I was headed down to Southampton the following weekend. After they’d left around 11, during Kieran’s team meeting, Josh and I chilled out in the living room watching Four In A Bed. For some reason, I wasn’t feeling too well. I was putting it down to so much social interaction and the mad shopping trip. During the afternoon, Josh had the genius idea of asking Imi if she was free either Tuesday or Wednesday for us to pop down and visit. We weren’t actually expecting a yes response but she replied saying she was free Tuesday. So Josh started planning and eventually we found trains that suited us both. To begin with, I wasn’t too enthusiastic. Of course, I loved the idea of seeing Imi but I’m not very good with impromptu plans. I think I cheered up quite quickly after everything was arranged and started looking forward to travels with Josh and seeing Imi. The only sadness was that Kieran couldn’t come with us. He had meetings he had to be in and it was too last minute for him to take a random day off. After Kieran finished work, he cooked our tea, “some rather delicious burgers” with chips. Again, we spent the evening watching more Friday Night Dinner.

 

In preparation for our long day, we were up bright and early Tuesday morning so we didn’t have to rush too much to get ourselves ready. Josh and I caught the 8:48 bus into Heymarket bus station in Newcastle. We then hopped on the metro to take us to central station. Josh says this is “cos we’re lazy bastards” but it just made sense rather than walking. After we’d got off the metro and navigated up to the main level of the station, I asked Josh if we could head to Costa and Greggs so I could grab some refreshments. I got a bacon roll from Greggs and a caramel shortbread and caramel hazelnut white hot chocolate from Costa, earning myself some nice Costa beans points in the process. Special assistance staff helped us onto our 10:35 train to York and I ate my food. The bacon roll from Greggs was stone cold so I didn’t bother but the Costa stuff was great as always. We arrived into York “bang on time” at 11:34 where a member of special assistance staff guided us to the taxi rank. We got into a taxi straight away and headed for Imi’s student accommodation. As we pulled into the car park, she and gorgeous Sam were there waiting for us. We had the biggest hug. It was so great to see them again. Sadly, our day wasn’t the happy reunion we’d planned. Just after we’d settled in, Imi had some rather crushing news about the support she receives. I’m just glad we were there to support her and, although it wasn’t the day we’d imagined, it’s always great to see her. I got some lovely cuddles from Sam and Lucy the cat and we were able to lend shoulders and ears of support when she needed us most. Regrettably, we did have to leave that evening. Josh had a bit of a panic when it came to booking a taxi back to the train station. At first, we didn’t think we were going to get one. He tried all the companies we could think of, even the random ones found on a Google search that Imi had never heard of. Eventually, Uber was our saviour. We boarded the 17:08 service to Newcastle. We arrived about 15 minutes late “after sitting on the King Edward bridge waiting for a platform for what felt like an eternity”. We were soon on the metro back to Heymarket and although we missed our intended bus, another one arrived 10 minutes later and we headed back to Blyth. We arrived home in time for the Liverpool vs Rangers Champions League match, which ended 2-0 making me very happy. Kieran cooked us cod, new potatoes and peas, which was, to use one of Josh’s favourite expressions, lush.

 

Wednesday was another chilled out day which Josh and I spent in the living room while Kieran worked. That evening, I made wraps with curly fries and onion rings for dinner.

 

Kieran had booked Thursday off work so we all got a bit of a lie in. We spent most of the day watching Friday Night Dinner. As an early birthday treat for Josh, we ordered Dominoes in the afternoon. Josh had a stuffed crust margarita pizza, Kieran had a meat feast pizza and I had a Hawaiian with added mushrooms. We shared dough balls, garlic bread, chicken strips, potato wedges and cookies. Safe to say we were all rather stuffed afterwards. We also got a bottle of coke in our meal deal but we just put that in the fridge. Later, Lesley and John picked us up and took us to The Stand Comedy Club in Newcastle to see Maisie Adam perform her Buzzed tour live. Josh “wimped out” of sitting in the front row so chose the second row instead. His thinking was that we were less likely to be targeted by not sitting right at the front. However, we certainly were. Many hilarious comments were made, including Kieran being yet again accused of being something rather unpleasant. Of course, Maisie made it quite clear she was joking.

 

Friday brought an end to Josh’s little holiday with us. It had been a lot of fun having him to stay and nice for us all to get so much time together. Parts of it almost felt like old times at college, especially when Josh was sprawled out on the floor. We had several seating options but he was much happier, through choice I must stress, laying down there. By the time we were up, the second half of my family were already well on there way, already in Rotherham. Lesley took me to my doctors appointment and we popped into Morrisons on our way back. Just as we were pulling up outside the flat, another car drew up. Mum, Harley and simon had arrived. I can’t tell you how good it was to see Mum again. After her big operation, cancer diagnosis and then thankfully all clear earlier this year, it was especially hard to leave Southampton when I did, only 6 weeks after her surgery. But Mum is the strongest person I know and soldiered on. While they unloaded the car of stuff they’d bought for us, Josh told me he’d successfully booked tickets for the three of us to see Russell Howard’s new tour next June at the BIC (Bournemouth International Centre). We’d looked at the tour dates the previous night and agreed that if the ticket prices weren’t extortionate, we’d definitely go again. I voted to go down south for it, especially when we saw the date for the show was a few days after my birthday. Once Mum and Simon were ready, the four of us headed out for the Metrocentre. I said a big goodbye to Josh, who was pretty sad because he wasn’t sure when we’d see each other next. Little did he know I was going to his birthday meal the following Monday.

 

Again, the Metrocentre was great fun. We browsed quite a few shops, finding a football memorabilia shop called The Back Page which was pretty cool. We also had KFC again, which was very nice; we were a little more sensible with how much we ordered this time. As Mum gets tired quickly these days – a lasting effect of her operation – we didn’t stay nearly as long as last time. That evening, Mum, Harley, Simon, Kieran and I went to the Wetherspoons in Blyth where, a little later, Lesley joined us and showed us the way to the nearby restaurant La Casa where John and Kieran’s auntie Gill were waiting. Everyone enjoyed their food, I think, and we had a nice evening out.

 

On Saturday, John came and picked Kieran up so they could go to watch the Newcastle vs Brentford match, which made them very happy when it ended 5-1. Not long later, Mum and Simon arrived and we headed to Cramlington to do some more shopping and have some lunch. We went to B&m, Dunelm, Pets At Home and another Wetherspoons. Once we were finished, Mum and Simon dropped Harley and I back at the flat and went back to their hotel so that we could all get ready for the Shine Night Walk, a 10k walk raising money for Cancer Research UK. The walk itself was excellent. Before we started, Mum kitted us out with glow sticks in the form of bracelets, headband ears, glasses, necklaces and loops around our ankles; Harley attached one to the elastic on my cane. When you sign up, you’re given a glow in the dark t-shirt and a piece of paper to write who you’re walking for on and pin onto the t-shirt. Of course, the main person I was walking for was Mum. But I also walked for Imi’s lovely dad, Mike, who died from a rare kind of cancer earlier this year. Also, I walked for Mrs Matthews, a lovely lady who supported me in class at secondary school, who sadly passed away in 2019. Mrs Matthews was one of those incredible people who always seemed to brighten up your day. Although I only really knew her as a member of staff, I know outside school she was a lovely person too. She always used to sing or hum along to her favourite songs during art class, which was the main lesson she supported me in. She always wore lovely perfumes, too, and there was one I liked best so she always made sure she wore it on days she worked with me. She just had such an amazing spirit and it was cruel how cancer took her too, when she was only 56, leaving behind a son and two granddaughters she adored. I recently got in touch with her mum via Facebook and it was lovely to talk to her about Mrs Matthews and be able to pass on my condolences properly, even if it is nearly 3 years later. I think of her a lot, especially on sunny days when I know she’d be cheery or on down days when I know she’d know the right thing to say. I think of her whenever I see anything with butterflies on it because they were her favourite. I did this walk in the hope that one day good people like Mum won’t have to suffer and people like Mike and Mrs Matthews won’t be so cruelly taken from their families. I walked with sometimes Mum and sometimes Harley guiding me. The only time we stopped was quite near the end when I needed the toilet and Simon nipped into a shop to grab a drink. Harley took photos of all the landmarks we passed as well as each kilometre milestone marker. There were lots of lovely wardens encouraging and praising you along the way. Walking back over the bridge and across the finish line was a pretty great feeling. It was an achievement for us all but especially for Mum. We completed the walk in two and a half hours.

 

I’d expected to feel really tired and ache all over so when I woke up feeling pretty much fine on Sunday morning I was quite surprised. Mum and Simon arrived around 11 and around midday we headed for lunch at Sambuca’s. Like Dad had, Mum and Simon enjoyed our visit there in March very much and had been adamant that we go again. This time, I decided to try something different again. After Simon recommended it as being lovely from last time, I went for the belly pork roast dinner with potato skins to start. Kieran, Mum and Simon all had roast dinners as well and Harley went for pizza with Bolognese on. Simon had soup to start and Mum and Kieran went for potato skins. I enjoyed my starter but disappointingly wasn’t that keen on the roast. However, dessert made up for it. The toffee cheesecake was amazing! Although, my teeth did feel like they would rot afterwards. After we arrived back at the flat, Lesley popped in to say goodbye to everyone and we left around 3. As it was Rebecca’s birthday, Kieran celebrated with a Chinese takeaway with her that evening.

 

On our way down, I listened to music on my I’pod and then the Arsenal vs Liverpool match which ended 3-2. We stopped at Watford Gap services at about 6:40 and arrived at Mum’s at 9:30. It always feels odd going back to Southampton. There’s so many parts that still feel like home but really it’s not home at all any more. Either way, it was great to be back and staffy Suggs seemed quite excited to see me.

 

I got up early on Monday morning and lovely My Guide volunteer Jenny arrived so we could go out for a catch up walk. Since we’ve stopped working together and I moved away, Jenny and I have kept in touch by sending regular emails about what’s happening in our lives. We tried to walk our old route from Mum’s along the shore and into Woolston to Piggies café where we used to stop for a drink and sometimes a snack for me. But there were road works going on along the shore and part of the path was closed so Jenny took us a different way. We still made it to Piggies where I had my old favourite of a salted caramel milkshake and Jenny her signature small Americano with hot milk on the side; I added a bowl of chips which we shared while we chatted. We got the bus home because I was feeling a bit lazy. It was really lovely to see Jenny and I hope we can meet up again during future visits. That evening, Harley and I caught the bus into town where we met up with Nan and Grandad before catching another bus into Portswood. It was great to see Nan and Grandad again. In Portswood, we met up with Dad, Josh and Michelle and went for a meal at Trago Lounge to celebrate Josh’s birthday. Michelle had bought a chocolate cake which we all enjoyed.

 

While Harley was at college on Tuesday afternoon, Mum and I went into Woolston to get some essentials from Lidl and then decided to get some chips to share for our lunch. We got them from my old favourite fish and chips shop, Tasty Place, and discovered it has new owners as the old ones sold up after 25 years running it. Thankfully, the food was just as nice. We sat in the sunshine at the feathers, a sort of memorial garden opposite the main shopping street of Woolston. There’s bricks that people have had names engraved into making up the floor. Grandad’s family had a Lillywhite one laid and we always stop to find it any time we go there. Back at home, we watched Love Actually together. We decided to have a movie afternoon and Mum chose Love Actually because I won’t be there to watch it with her for our usual Christmas Eve tradition. I will never get bored of Love Actually. I just love the storylines and all the characters. That evening, Mum cooked the lasagne, sliced potatoes with bacon and garlic bread we’d bought from Lidl earlier. This used to be one of my favourite meals living down there. It didn’t disappoint. Harley and I watched Friday Night Dinner while we ate.

 

The next day, Uncle Dave picked me up and took me back to his house to spend the day with Auntie Clare and new puppy Teddy. Teddy is about 15 weeks old and a cross between a shih tzu and a poodle. He is a crazy, cute, energetic bundle of fur and I enjoyed having lots of cuddles throughout the day. It was lovely spending time with Auntie Clare too. Her arthritis has gotten really bad now, to the point where she only walks when she has to because it hurts so bad. The consultants have said she’ll be having a double hip replacement in the next few months. She’s relieved more than anything. Harley arrived a little after 3 and stayed for a little while. Auntie Clare drove us to Nan’s for tea and Grandad showed me their new front door with its old-fashioned knocker, decking with rails and steps, patio and garage doors. Nan cooked my favourites for dinner: mince stew and dumplings with apple crumble for pudding. It was a staple of my childhood when we went for dinner at Nan’s. Later on, I listened to Rangers vs Liverpool which was a great match where Liverpool won 7-1. Meanwhile, Mum sat on the other sofa playing games on her phone, including Talking Tom and a Disney quiz game; both had funny sound effects.

 

During the morning on Thursday Harley did their volunteering for Communicare. They are a volunteer for the Hello Southampton project where they phone clients for 10-minute chats to make sure they’re getting on ok. They have to write notes about their conversations and report any concerns. They seem to enjoy it a lot. Once they were finished, the three of us headed into town for lunch and some shopping. I treated them to Pizza Hut where Harley had the buffet, some chicken bites and a salad bowl, Mum had the chicken delight flatbread and a salad bowl and I had a Hawaiian stuffed crust pizza with added mushrooms and a salad bowl; we all had unlimited refill drinks. As always, the food was lovely. I ate so much that for the first time in ages I decided not to have a cookie dough pudding. That’s pretty much unheard of for me. Once we all felt ready, we headed for the shops so I could start early Christmas shopping. I figured if I did most of the shopping for the people in Southampton while I was visiting, I wouldn’t have to post it down to them. Once we were home, it took quite a while to sort the shopping out. I like to give each person a separate bag so I can check what I’ve got for them easier. Later, Mum and I watched some of the National Television Awards.

 

Unfortunately, Friday didn’t turn out to be quite the day we’d imagined. In the morning, Harley went out with their friend and Mum to a hospital appointment. We thought it was for tests relating to her iron deficiency. Meanwhile, I stayed at home and did some hoovering and cleaning for Mum to try and help her out a bit. Harley came home first and we both started to wonder if everything was going ok with Mum’s appointment. It was scheduled for 11 and she’d been gone for quite a while now. We put it down to delays with appointments at the hospital, which seems to be happening a lot nowadays with the extreme pressure the NHS are under. However, when Mum arrived back and Simon was with her, I started to get a bad feeling. They came into the front room and Mum just told us. Her cancer is back. She had a biopsy done a couple of weeks ago because something had shown up on her scan. She hadn’t told us because they were hoping it wasn’t anything serious. But she has a tumour in her groin. We think they’ve caught it early. But she will still need to have an operation and chemotherapy. That was the one she was hoping to avoid. Somehow, she’d coped so well with having the operation but had always dreaded the possibility of needing chemo. We don’t know in what order things are going to happen. Mum said they are moving things as fast as they can. The next step is a PET scan to check that is the only recurrence of cancer or only point of concern. Then they’ll decide on a treatment plan. I felt like the world was collapsing. When someone you love so much gets cancer, the fear is always of the worst outcome. But after Mum had the operation and eventually got the all clear, we hoped that was it. It had already been scary enough. But the idea that it might come back is a nagging thought at the back of your mind. For some reason, I’d felt something wasn’t right. I’d been texting Imi about it on Wednesday night and of course we put it down to the usual paranoia about cancer returning. Now it wasn’t just paranoia any more, it was actually happening. The worst part for me, except from my mind imagining the most horrible scenarios, was knowing I wasn’t going to be able to be there for Mum during whatever treatment she has. Last time, I was there before, whilst and after the operation. I think I helped in some way at least. But whatever physical help I did offer last time is completely out of the question now. It was a weird feeling, after all the tears had stopped, because I knew the following Monday I’d return to Blyth, Kieran and our life there, leaving all of this behind but knowing what’s to come for Mum. I want to be there to support Mum with Harley, so that Harley feels they’ve got someone there for them too. Having a parent who has cancer is so difficult to get your head around. It really does make your whole world unstable. I didn’t want to go home and for everything to go back to normal when everything has changed again for Mum. But I knew that’s what would happen.

 

I spent the rest of the afternoon led on my bed with my mind spinning while Harley was doing the same next-door and Mum was phoning the important people to tell them what was happening. It was like an out-of-body experience listening to her calmly telling people the news, listening to her talk so positively about how “it is what it is” and we just have “to take it day by day”. I felt like we should be saying those things to her, reassuring her, not the other way around. She wasn’t crying and falling apart. It makes you feel selfish and guilty for feeling that way yourself. After a few hours, we went back to trying to have a normal evening. Mum and Simon drove to our old favourite kebab van and bought us all mixed kebabs and chips to share. It’s one of the only things southern takeaways do better than up north … serving fries rather than chunky chips with kebabs. The food was lovely and we watched the rest of the NTAs and an old episode of Gogglebox.

 

By Saturday morning, everything had pretty much gone back to normal again, except it felt like there was a shadow hanging over everything. Dad picked Harley and I up at 10:45 and we went with him, Michelle and Josh into town for yet more Christmas shopping. Josh and I met up with two of our old teaching assistants who supported us in class in secondary school. It was very nice to catch up with them over a Costa. After all of the shopping was done, we went back to Dad and Michelle’s new flat because I hadn’t seen it yet. A little later, Dad drove us all to a fish and chips shop where I bought dinner for us all plus Nan, Grandad and Auntie Clare. We joined them, and Uncle Dave who was heading out for a snooker match with a friend, at Auntie Clare’s and enjoyed a very nice evening eating, chatting and fussing over fluffy Teddy. As always, it was weird saying goodbye to Nan, Grandad, Auntie Clare and Josh at the end of the night. I’ll see them all again just after Christmas, which is much sooner than the gap between my birthday and seeing them this time. But I don’t like saying goodbye at the best of times and things still felt a bit raw after Mum’s news the day before. Back at Mum’s, Harley and I listened to music while unpacking the shopping until Mum and Simon arrived home from their evening out seeing a local band perform.

 

On Sunday, Mum cooked us all, plus Simon’s daughter who was round for the day, a lovely roast chicken with roast potatoes, mash potato, cauliflower cheese, cabbage, carrots, peas and Yorkshire puddings. We had a lovely millionaire’s cheesecake for pudding. During the meal, I listened to Liverpool vs Manchester City (1-0). Later, Mum and I watched Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and Emma Willis: Delivering Babies.

 

Monday meant my last day down south again for a little while. In the morning, Harley went to college while Mum and I popped to town. Once we’d dropped our shopping off, we walked to meet Harley at the Mayfield Nurseries Sunflower Café. They’d gone there with their friend on Friday and wanted Mum and I to see what it’s like. It is very nice. Quite a chilled out atmosphere with tables inside the café and some outside under a shelter. There’s flowers, plants and fresh fruit & veg you can buy and lots of homemade food and drinks at the café. It all raises funds for a local mental health charity and all the staff at the café are volunteers. It was a lovely way to spend our afternoon, especially as the weather was nice. When we got back to Mum’s, Harley went upstairs and did some college work while Mum and I watched Master Chef Australia, The Voice, First Dates Hotel and Pointless. But then it was time for me to check I’d packed everything and bring my bag down to wait for Dad to pick me up for the airport run. Traffic was bad and he was quite late. It was a bit of a rushed goodbye to Mum and Harley, who had decided to stay behind and be with Mum. I gave them big hugs. But then I was in the car and we were rushing away so that we could get McDonald’s before I needed to be at the airport. We only just squeezed it in. We had to eat in the car and Dad started driving to the airport before I’d finished. It’s not the kind of ending I like to have. Saying goodbye to Dad at the airport was sad too. I FaceTime Mum and Harley most days up here but only speak to Dad on the phone every now and then. We message every day but it’s not quite the same. I’ve had a great couple of weeks seeing everyone. It was great to have them all come up and visit. It was strange doing the reverse journey down to Southampton in a car. The only time I’ve driven that trip was on moving day up here. I loved being able to spend so much time with everyone, with the added bonus of the spur of the moment meet-up with Imi and catch up with Jenny. Of course, Mum’s cancer recurrence does put a big cloud over the whole thing and the worry is constantly with me. She had her PET scan yesterday so now we have to wait for the results. I’m hoping with everything I have that the tumour they’ve found is the only evidence of cancer. I don’t want her to have to go through this at all but as it’s already happening please can it be as low-risk as possible. I need her. As I knew I would, I’ve fallen back into my life up here and our routines straight away. It is great to be home, back living independently with Kieran. We have a really lovely home here and I don’t ever take it for granted. Right now, though, I only wish it wasn’t so far away from Southampton, from Mum and Harley and all the appointments, treatment, tears and difficulty that’s to come. As many have said, though, I’m thankful to have all the modern technology that means I’m only a message or call away from knowing how they are. In a weird kind of way, I am glad I was there the day Mum got her news. I think, on a selfish level for me at least, it would have been a lot harder hearing it over the phone. I will be there whenever and however much I can for them all and will give them as much support as I’m able from 300 miles away. It was one of the best fortnight’s I’ve had in a long time, just containing one of the worst days I’ve had. The comedy gig with the boys, visiting Imi with Josh, all the meals out with everyone, watching Love Actually with Mum, a chilled evening with Harley and meeting up with Jenny are all highlights. I’m going to hold onto those.

 

Mum, Dad, Michelle, Simon, Harley and Josh, thank you for coming to visit us. It was great to see you again and I love my southern life connecting with my northern one.

Kieran, thanks for having all our crazy family descending on the place. I think we managed to be quite good hosts. Well, they’ve all said they’d come back, at least.

Lesley and John, for the ferrying to and from places, for Lesley’s super cleaning skills, and for just being great. You reassure my parents that I’m well looked after (their words) so I guess that’s the biggest thank you of all.

Mum, you’re the strongest person I know. I wish this wasn’t happening to you, again. For some reason, bad things always seem to happen to good people, and you’re the best. Just like last time, you’ll get through this. We are all here for you. I wish more than anything that I could be down there for you but I’m always at the other end of the phone and will be down in a heartbeat if anything happens. Which it won’t because, as Lesley so perfectly said, you can kick it’s ass again.

 

PS: thanks to Josh for the awesome notes on the first week of the reunion. I was enjoying myself too much to write things down. We had many other blog titles thought up for this one – although I forgot all of them of course – but the one I chose is a muddle of two. “Harley up” comes from when they were in the loo and I really needed to go. As not everyone knows about their chosen name, we’d been having to alternate between Harley and Tamsin all weekend. In my attempt to say “hurry up” it came out as “Harley up”. The irony being that nobody noticed when we were calling them Harley anyway. The second part comes from the Maisie Adam gig and a joke about doing online comedy gigs during lockdown.

“Thank you Jesus, for bringing Russell”

After what has felt like the longest four months, last Monday 27th May, Mum and I headed off to Southampton airport to wait for a plane to arrive from Newcastle, bringing Kieran down to stay. Since we last saw each other in January to celebrate his 22nd birthday and our 3rd anniversary of being together, things have been busy, so busy that I haven’t found time to arrange to visit him again. Obviously, as Kieran’s working hard being an IT apprentice and I’m still unemployed, it’s down to me more to make the effort to go up and stay with him so he doesn’t have to take time off work so often. And of course, I’m fine with that. More than anything, I’m able to take my uni work with me wherever I go so Lesley and John’s sofa is just a good study place as my desk in my room. But these last few months have been super hectic uni-wise as I’ve been working towards, and now completed, my final pieces of work not only for Level 3 but for my entire degree. I’m planning to write more about finishing uni when results come in, but safe to say it’s been an odd experience this last fortnight not having to sit down and dedicate every day to studying and working on assignments as I have the last almost 4 years. I can’t believe it’s all over and have found freedom strange so far. Thankfully, Kieran came to stay for a week and made it a lot more enjoyable. I mean, don’t get me wrong I’m enjoying spending my days cuddling my little guinea pigs and reading as many books as I can manage, which started with rereading the Harry Potter series of course, but having had something to keep me occupied almost solidly for the last 4 years means I’m a little at a loss for what to do with so much free time. So, having Kieran down was definitely a great way to use some of that time. By the time Kieran came through arrivals to us and we got home, it was already late enough to go up to bed so once he’d said hello to Dad and Tamsin, we headed up.

Surprisingly, on Tuesday we were up earlier than we usually are when we stay together and have nothing to do. Strangely, it wasn’t even because my parents had woken us up by putting Wave 105 radio on as soon as they got up for their usual getting ready for work and school routine. Once we were up, showered and dressed, we had our usual Weetabix and cups of tea breakfast. Then, when Dad and Tamsin came back, we all headed out to get some lunch. As Dad and Tamsin had already eaten, Dad took us to Gregg’s in Thornhill so we could get something to take with us up to Nan and Grandad’s; Dad had thought it’d be nice for us to pop up and see them as we had nothing planned and they’d like to see Kieran. In Gregg’s, I chose a sausage roll, bottle of doctor pepper and a caramel custard doughnut and Kieran picked a steak bake and a bottle of Diet Coke but didn’t want a cake or anything. Nan and grandad did seem pleased to see us, although the bungalow was already rather crowded as it was hairdressing day so auntie Clare was there doing everyone’s hair and auntie Jackie was round. As the kitchen was full, Kieran and I sat in the lounge and ate our yummy lunch, declining packets of crisps when Nan offered. A little later on, we left and once home watched episodes of The Chase I had recorded on my sky box. I also deleted all the unneeded episodes of Lorraine and judge Rinder that I’d recorded to use as background noise while I studied. We also stopped the series links for them and I was shocked my box had 90%+ free on its hard drive; I don’t think its been that free since I first got it!

When she got home from work later on, Mum cooked Kieran and I chicken garlic Kiev and homemade chips with spaghetti hoops for tea and we had mint choc chip ice cream for pudding. Upstairs, Kieran and I watched some comedy DVDs, Sean Lock’s Keep It Light, which Kieran hadn’t seen before, and Sarah Millican’s Control Enthusiast. At midnight, Kieran revealed to me that he and Josh had booked tickets for the three of us to see Russell Howard live in September at the BIC in Bournemouth and Kieran had paid for my ticket as a birthday present. Russell has been on my comedy hit list for a long time so I am very much looking forward to seeing him with the lads in September.

Wednesday meant it was my 22nd birthday, the main reason Kieran had visited, and so we were woken by the traditional ritual on anyone’s birthday, Dad going downstairs and turning on the CD player so that Stevie Wonder’s Happy Birthday blares loudly. We headed downstairs, where Mum had stuck up banners and sprinkled confetti on the breakfast bar, and while everyone ate their breakfasts I sat on the floor and opened the cards that had come through in the post, then Tamsin’s gifts and the big bag of gifts from my parents, which included the new 2019-20 Liverpool FC home shirt, a Pandora bead for my necklace to represent Peanut the guinea pig, The Body Shop and Lush bits, Winnie the Pooh and Harry Potter T-shirts, a Harry Potter room of requirement sign for my bedroom and a pineapple-shaped soap dish for my lush shampoo bars. Afterwards, as we were all getting ready, Dad suggested that Kieran and I come with them when they took Mum to work so we could go for a mcdonalds breakfast. We agreed but I was disappointed Mum had to work and couldn’t come with us. In the car, I opened the birthday cards from Kieran’s family that he’d brought with him and found I’d been very spoilt again, with vouchers and money to spend. As we were driving my phone rang and it was my brother Grant and his girlfriend Lacey with my nieces and nephew calling to wish me a happy birthday. I’d already received a card written by my nephew with auntie on the front that morning that had made me a bit teary and hearing from them all too was really lovely. Once we’d dropped Mum at work, we headed into town and into West Quay for breakfast. Kieran had a cheesy bacon flatbread meal which came with a hash brown and drink, and he had black coffee I had a sausage McMuffin meal, which also came with a hash brown and drink, and I had a little bottle of milk. Later, once we were home, Kieran had a look at my laptop and Victor Reader Trek and sorted out my Audible so that I could listen to my books on my Trek. While he did that, a postman arrived, bringing lovely Moonpig flowers from Kieran. A little later and another postman delivered a big box of bath and shower luxuries from Imi.

In the evening when Mum got home from work, everyone started to get ready so we could go out for my birthday meal. Just before we left, I received a text from my good pal Josh saying he’d locked himself out of his flat and wasn’t sure if he’d be able to join us. But when we arrived, he was waiting outside the restaurant even though he hadn’t solved the problem. Nan, Grandad, Auntie Clare and Adam also joined us. I’d chosen Bella Italia in the town centre to go to as suggested by Nan the previous week. I remembered it had a lovely ravioli on the menu and was in a convenient place in town for everyone to get to without too much hassle. Kieran chose meatballs for his starter and a spicy meat pasta dish for his main. I had a slice of Adam’s garlic pizza bread and a couple of Mum’s dough balls as I hadn’t wanted a whole starter to myself and a meat pasta dish for my main. Sadly, we’d discovered that they no longer served either of the two ravioli dishes they used to have on the menu and hadn’t put any new ravioli dishes on. As I’d been looking forward to having ravioli and partially chosen the restaurant for the ravioli, I was a bit disappointed. I enjoyed my main, although it was far too big a portion and I left quite a lot of it. After we’d all finished eating, the table erupted into Happy Birthday singing and a white chocolate birthday cake chosen by Dad and Tamsin was brought out. Everyone except Dad, who thought the cake would have too much sugar in it for his blood levels, had a slice of the cake and it was delicious. Unfortunately, Josh had to leave just as the cake was being cut so he could catch a train to take him to Wareham to meet his dad so he had somewhere to spend the night; but Mum wrapped him a slice of the cake up in a napkin to take with him. He’d bought me some lovely birthday gifts — a sign with pictures of guinea pigs on and Peanut, Smudge and Hazel printed on it to hang on their cage; a lovely charm key ring with charms from the Harry Potter films on it; and a Pandora bead of a cat to represent Coco on my necklace. As he’d had such a disastrous night himself, I was very grateful to him for still making the effort to join us for the meal. I’d also been given a Body Shop voucher and box of Milk Tray from Auntie Clare, Uncle Dave and Adam and a Dove wash set from Nan and Grandad who’s card I’d opened earlier containing £20. All in all, it’d been a pretty great birthday and it reminded me, as all my birthdays do, how lucky I am to have such amazing family and friends around me. Not only the cards and gifts but the kindness, effort and love that went into the whole day makes me so grateful to have the friends and family I do.

On Thursday, everyone was out at work so Kieran and I were able to have a little bit of a lie in before getting up and having our Weetabix and cups of tea breakfast. While I sorted the guinea pigs cage out, Kieran sat in the computer chair in their little room and kept me company. I even managed to catch all three girls one at a time and bring them out of their cage for Kieran to stroke. Upstairs, we watched the remaining episodes of The Chase on my sky box. Halfway through, we ate the sandwiches Mum had made for our lunch. When she got home from work, Mum cooked us chicken pie, mash potato and baby carrots with gravy for our tea. Later on, we watched Gogglebox recorded from the week before and some Two Doors Down and Family Guy that was on TV.

Friday morning was similar to Thursday, with us getting up and having our Weetabix breakfast and me sorting the guinea pigs cage. Then, we got ready and headed up the road to the bus-stop, so we could catch the bus to meet Josh in town. When we arrived at West Quay, I realised we’d caught the bus far too early so Kieran text Josh to let him know we were already in town, just in case he was early too as he’s known for getting to places sooner than scheduled. As expected, Josh turned up two minutes later… we went up to Pizza Hut in West Quay because both the boys had food vouchers that had been bought for them as gifts to use up. Josh chose to go for the buffet but Kieran and I decided to use one of the offers currently on that allowed us to get a sharing pizza, two sides, two desserts and two drinks for a set price. For our pizza, Kieran and I did half and half with stuffed crust,with half tuna and sweet corn and half Texas Meat Meltdown. For our sides we chose cheesy garlic bread and fries. I surprised myself by being able to eat my whole half of the pizza. Usually when I eat at Pizza Hut I only manage a couple of slices before admitting defeat. While Josh had his second helpings from the buffet, Kieran and I ordered our desserts, me having my usual white chocolate and caramel cookie dough and Kieran trying the new cinnamon bites.

Feeling rather full, we decided to catch the bus back to mine and spent the rest of the afternoon and majority of the evening listening to music, catching up and having a lovely time. Josh didn’t leave until nearly 9:30, long after Dad had headed down the club and we’d started our child minding duties of Tamsin, who was just getting ready to go to bed as Josh left. Once he’d gone, Kieran and I watched Gogglebox and The Last Leg.

On Saturday morning, we got up and had breakfast and then, while Kieran set my Apple TV up in the living room ready for the football later on and watched some telly, I did a full clean out of the guinea pigs cage, which I have to do once weekly. As I cleaned, Mum came home with Tamsin, bringing KFC for our lunch with them. It had been Kieran’s suggestion after Mum had hinted at bringing Gregg’s back for lunch as he wanted to try the new “I love you bacon burger” meal and if we had KFC it meant everyone had eaten a decent or at least filling lunch. Our KFC branch had Kieran’s desired meal and I had a BBQ wrap with a popcorn snack box and iced tea. As I finished doing the cage clean, Kieran watched more telly, with Friends, The Simpsons and horse racing featuring. Mum found it rather comical listening to him shouting at the horses race but having heard it myself many times before I hardly even noticed.

At 6 o’clock, we put the Apple TV on and went onto YouTube and the BT Sport live stream so that we could watch the build-up to the Champions League final from the start. As the final was between Tottenham and Liverpool and would mean the 6th Champions League final Liverpool had won if they won, I wanted very much to watch. Not being able to remember the infamous night of Istanbul 2005 well myself, or any other big finals since then, I was hoping this final could be a personal success in my history as a Liverpool fan. Just before the football arrived, Kieran and I ordered takeaway for our tea for ourselves. Mum had already cooked Dad tea before she’d gone to work and although we tried to persuade her she insisted she didn’t want us to buy her anything to have later on when she got in, saying she might grab herself a kebab or something on her way home. Unfortunately, as it was probably a busy Saturday night for the company, our food arrived a little after the football had started, by which time Liverpool had scored their first goal. Kieran had a mixed kebab and chips, I had donner meat and chips, we shared mozzarella sticks and had a can of doctor pepper each. I was pleased that for once we hadn’t gone overboard with the food like we often do. We both enjoyed the food very much and it made for a nice atmosphere while we watched the football. In the end, Liverpool won 2-0 and lifted the champions league trophy for the 6th time. Sadly, the game was quite flat and not the magic that many Liverpool fans brag about from Istanbul. However, it was still a good game and a great night for my club, and a great night for me to be able to watch the match and have a winning final in my memory. Listening to the players, fans and manager talk afterwards just reminded me that however underwhelming the game had been onscreen, the achievement for the club was still great, even more so with the incredible season we’ve had and the unfortunate disappointment of losing the Premier League right at the last hurdle. As Dad and Kieran wanted to watch the boxing, which had started at 10pm before the football had finished, they switched the channel over and I headed upstairs so I could continue listening to the reactions to the game on the radio. In the end, Kieran stayed up watching the boxing with Dad and then both parents when Mum arrived home until 2am, by which time I’d long since fallen asleep.

As everyone stayed up late for the boxing, nobody rose early on Sunday morning and I think everyone felt a little groggy. It turned out that Dad stayed up the latest, watching the whole boxing show until it finished at 4am. Once everyone was ready, we piled into the car and headed to The Dancing Goose in Netley to meet Nan, Grandad, Nan Olive, Auntie Clare and Adam for Sunday lunch. As Nan and Grandad were flying out to canada the following day to visit our relatives over there, meaning grandad will be away for his 80th birthday and Father’s Day, the family wanted to get all together to see each other one more time before they flew out. Everyone except Kieran, who wasn’t feeling too well, had carvery; Kieran had sausage, mash and peas. We all thoroughly enjoyed our meals, although I was a little disappointed that they’d changed their roast potatoes since we’d last been because they used to be really lovely. They’re still nice enough but they used to have a really tasty coating on them. No one fancied a pudding so we just paid the bill and headed out, saying longer than usual goodbyes in the car park before all going our separate ways. Once we’d arrived home, I had to sort the guinea pigs’ veg and clean up their cage like I do every day. Meanwhile, Kieran put the Apple TV back in place up in my room. While watching Judge Judy, we ate a slice of my white chocolate birthday cake each. After Judge Judy, we watched back to back episodes of Come Dine With Me, Have I Got News For You and Ultimate Worrier.

Somehow, when we woke up the following day Kieran had already been staying for a week and inevitably that meant his flight home had come. Somehow, our time together always seems to fly by too fast, regardless of how little or long the stay is. We had a little lie in on Monday but were soon up, showered and dressed, sitting downstairs debating whether to have our Weetabix breakfast and order the Dominoes treat lunch we’d agreed on a little later on or straight away. Kieran decided he didn’t fancy Weetabix so we got some biscuits out and once we’d had a couple and started drinking our tea, we decided to order the food straight away. In the end, we didn’t stick to our previous agreement of just having bits and pieces because I fancied a pizza; so we got a half and half medium pizza, one half ham and pineapple and one half meat fielder. As usual, Kieran added extra tomato sauce and extra mozzarella cheese and I opted for stuffed crust. To that we added 7 chicken strippers, potato wedges and cookies. As our Dominoes is literally around the road, the food was delivered really quickly. While we ate, Kieran put Russell Howard’s Netflix special Recalibrate on for us to listen to. We’d meant to watch it the previous night but not gotten around to it. The food was lovely and Russell as always was hilarious. It was a nice way to spend our last lunchtime of this meet-up together.

Unfortunately, not long after we’d finished eating, the headache that had been minor earlier in the morning became really painful to the point where I took Ibuprofen really hoping that the pain would have dulled long before Kieran left so we could enjoy the last few hours we had together before his flight. Although we did of course enjoy our time together, listening to Magic Chilled and Kisstory on my Amazon Echo, I wasn’t so lucky with the headache. It didn’t start to lessen until we were getting ready to leave the house to go to the airport, by which time Tamsin had walked home from school to us and Auntie Clare had come to take us as Mum wasn’t able to take the time off work. Despite it being rush hour traffic time, we got to the airport no problem and Kieran was quickly checked in and directed to sit in the waiting area until someone from assistance could help. They came all too quickly, of course, and it was time for goodbyes. Although Kieran is already scheduled to come down in September for the two comedy gigs we now have lined up and I’m hoping to take a trip up north sometime in between now and then, it didn’t make the goodbye moment any easier. Nothing ever does. But the long distance aspect of this relationship was part of the deal when we decided to try in January 2016; you’d think by now we’d have it mastered and be pros at it. But it doesn’t matter how many times we say goodbye, it doesn’t make a difference. I still live in southampton and Kieran still lives nearly 300 miles away in Newcastle. However, the distance is never too difficult and always worth the sadness it comes with. We had a really lovely time this last week and I’m really looking forward to September and the comedy shows, and any other meet-ups we manage in between or after.

Thank you, Kieran, for taking the time off work and flying down to stay. Thank you for making sure you were here to celebrate my birthday with me; it wouldn’t have been the same without you. Thank you for the Russell ticket, the flowers, for fixing my tech stuff without complaint, for the food, the fun and the happiness. Ive loved having you down to stay, as always, and only wish it could have been for longer or not gone so quickly. I love you so very much and am already looking forward to whenever we manage to see each other again. Love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx