After 4 months of not seeing them, it was time for a southern family reunion. As arranged, once they were ready – Dad insisted on a haircut and some lunch in a less than nice local café before leaving – Dad, Michelle, Harley (Tamsin) and Josh sat in Dad’s car for 7 hours and headed north, arriving at our flat at around 10:30. Of course, after that length of time spent in a car plus multiple stops – Josh claims only 2 of them were his fault – everyone was pretty tired. But it was so great to see them. They took advantage of our facilities, Dad going for the crisps and coffee and Michelle opting for some of Kieran’s beer. While we chatted, Dad gave Kieran and I the little presents they’d bought back from their recent holiday to Tenerife. Kieran and I had a football magnet each, obviously his Newcastle and mine Liverpool, a tea towel and another magnet that said Tenerife. I immediately put the magnets up on the front of the fridge, which is now pretty full. After they’d finished their refreshments – and Dad had fully slated Kieran’s music selection playing on the multi-room system – they headed off for the night to their hotel. Josh, Kieran, Harley and I stayed up another hour and a half just chatting.
On Saturday morning, Kieran cooked himself and Josh sausage sandwiches for breakfast. Harley and I decided not to join them because we thought Dad and Michelle would soon arrive for our shopping spree to the Metrocentre. We soon realised we were mistaken when they didn’t arrive until 12:30, after indulging in the hotel breakfast. By this time, Harley and I were pretty hungry and a bit annoyed. However, we were soon on our way. I’ve never been to the Metrocentre before and after being repeatedly warned by Kieran it was rubbish, I was quite pleased to find I enjoyed our day out shopping. Back down south, we usually spent most weekends at a city centre of some kind, not always Southampton itself. It was just a thing. It seems that isn’t normal for many families but it was our routine. The Metrocentre is huge and had loads of shops we browsed. I particularly liked a stall selling all things smelling lovely. I bought some wax melts to use in my electric burner. They’ve become something I love. I’ve always liked smelly candles but am always worried about lighting them. Mum sent me a battery operated lighter thing but I’m still nervous about the flame. Wax melts in my electric burner are a great alternative and smell just as good, without the safety risk. The melts I bought smelt like some of my favourite scents: Lush product Snow Fairy and Dove soap. I’ve since tried the soap one and it’s lovely. Harley and I also browsed Primark, with Harley treating themselves to a scarf and cardigan and me some fleecy Garfield pyjamas and a fluffy thing that’s a mix between a dressing gown and a hoodie. It probably has some trendy name or something but I have no clue. The dressing gown hoodie thing was patterned with mushrooms, something Harley chose because mushroom used to be my nickname at secondary school. Thankfully, it never stuck, although strangely Dad still uses it sometimes. We finally got our much needed food when we stopped at KFC. We were pretty greedy, ordering quite a lot for two people, and ended up taking the remainder of our popcorn chicken home in Harley’s rucksack. Back at the flat, Josh and Kieran were having “a lovely afternoon chilling out and watching sport”. As I was a bit lazy, Josh has helped me out by writing his own blog notes, which I’m relying on heavily for this first week. Kieran was very pleased with Newcastle’s match, where “they battered 10 man Fulham 4-1 at the cottage”. Unfortunately, Josh was less impressed with Southampton who, despite taking the lead early in the second half, were beaten 2-1 by Everton, who scored those goals in as many minutes. This was made worse as Josh “went to the kitchen to grab a celebratory Pepsi” and by the time he returned Saints were losing. Due to the excitement, both boys had a nap during half time. Josh claims that’s “cos we’re old lol”.
Our mammoth shopping trip meant we didn’t arrive back until 8:30, by which time Kieran had ordered our takeaway tea, which we went halves on as a treat for everyone. Apparently, cheesy chips were a popular option as everyone except Harley, who had chips with Bolognese instead, ordered them. Dad and Michelle shared a donner meat, Josh had a margarita pizza and Kieran had a meat feast pizza; Kieran also bought some mozzarella sticks to share and we were given a garlic bread free with our order. The food was lovely. Dad and Michelle headed back to their hotel around 10. The four of us spent the rest of the night watching Friday Night Dinner.
As Dad had requested, on Sunday we went for lunch out at Sambuca’s. On the weekend I’d moved in, Dad had thoroughly enjoyed his chicken kiev, even if he didn’t eat it all because he’d splurged on a cooked breakfast beforehand, and was looking forward to having another. Instead of having my usual tuna and garlic pizza, I decided to try the kiev as well. Michelle and Kieran chose roast dinners, Josh had a chicken Voldostano – I’ve relied on his spelling for this – and Harley had a spaghetti bolognese. As always, it was a lovely meal. After we arrived home, in Josh’s words: “M&M pissed off to the hotel for the rest of the afternoon so we just chilled out”. M&M is the nickname Josh and I came up for Martin and Michelle when they first got together and we couldn’t stand the idea of it. We watched Manchester City batter Manchester United 6-3 while Josh watched “a chaotic Singapore GP which featured crashes a plenty in the wet weather”. Afterwards, We watched Leeds vs Aston Villa, which was “god awful” and ended 0-0. To brighten the mood, we watched more Friday Night Dinner and finally convinced Harley to join Facebook. Kieran and I had been wanting them to join for ages, mainly because when we check in at places out it feels weird tagging everyone else and leaving Harley out. Sometime during the afternoon, Lesley turned up with Gill and jack russel Bailey. She’d bought us a homemade Victoria sponge cake, which we quickly tucked into after they’d left. Around 8:30, Dad and Michelle finally reappeared, Michelle bringing beer and chocolate cake. We decided to play some quiz shows and had a go at The Hit List, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and Jimmy Carr’s I Literally Just Told You. Josh and Michelle particularly enjoyed the last one. Kieran was as always good at The Hit List and when he joined in, so was Dad.
Sadly, on Monday morning it was time for Dad, Michelle and Harley to head back down south. It was so great to have them up to visit and although it’s always hard saying goodbye, this time I wouldn’t have long to wait as I was headed down to Southampton the following weekend. After they’d left around 11, during Kieran’s team meeting, Josh and I chilled out in the living room watching Four In A Bed. For some reason, I wasn’t feeling too well. I was putting it down to so much social interaction and the mad shopping trip. During the afternoon, Josh had the genius idea of asking Imi if she was free either Tuesday or Wednesday for us to pop down and visit. We weren’t actually expecting a yes response but she replied saying she was free Tuesday. So Josh started planning and eventually we found trains that suited us both. To begin with, I wasn’t too enthusiastic. Of course, I loved the idea of seeing Imi but I’m not very good with impromptu plans. I think I cheered up quite quickly after everything was arranged and started looking forward to travels with Josh and seeing Imi. The only sadness was that Kieran couldn’t come with us. He had meetings he had to be in and it was too last minute for him to take a random day off. After Kieran finished work, he cooked our tea, “some rather delicious burgers” with chips. Again, we spent the evening watching more Friday Night Dinner.
In preparation for our long day, we were up bright and early Tuesday morning so we didn’t have to rush too much to get ourselves ready. Josh and I caught the 8:48 bus into Heymarket bus station in Newcastle. We then hopped on the metro to take us to central station. Josh says this is “cos we’re lazy bastards” but it just made sense rather than walking. After we’d got off the metro and navigated up to the main level of the station, I asked Josh if we could head to Costa and Greggs so I could grab some refreshments. I got a bacon roll from Greggs and a caramel shortbread and caramel hazelnut white hot chocolate from Costa, earning myself some nice Costa beans points in the process. Special assistance staff helped us onto our 10:35 train to York and I ate my food. The bacon roll from Greggs was stone cold so I didn’t bother but the Costa stuff was great as always. We arrived into York “bang on time” at 11:34 where a member of special assistance staff guided us to the taxi rank. We got into a taxi straight away and headed for Imi’s student accommodation. As we pulled into the car park, she and gorgeous Sam were there waiting for us. We had the biggest hug. It was so great to see them again. Sadly, our day wasn’t the happy reunion we’d planned. Just after we’d settled in, Imi had some rather crushing news about the support she receives. I’m just glad we were there to support her and, although it wasn’t the day we’d imagined, it’s always great to see her. I got some lovely cuddles from Sam and Lucy the cat and we were able to lend shoulders and ears of support when she needed us most. Regrettably, we did have to leave that evening. Josh had a bit of a panic when it came to booking a taxi back to the train station. At first, we didn’t think we were going to get one. He tried all the companies we could think of, even the random ones found on a Google search that Imi had never heard of. Eventually, Uber was our saviour. We boarded the 17:08 service to Newcastle. We arrived about 15 minutes late “after sitting on the King Edward bridge waiting for a platform for what felt like an eternity”. We were soon on the metro back to Heymarket and although we missed our intended bus, another one arrived 10 minutes later and we headed back to Blyth. We arrived home in time for the Liverpool vs Rangers Champions League match, which ended 2-0 making me very happy. Kieran cooked us cod, new potatoes and peas, which was, to use one of Josh’s favourite expressions, lush.
Wednesday was another chilled out day which Josh and I spent in the living room while Kieran worked. That evening, I made wraps with curly fries and onion rings for dinner.
Kieran had booked Thursday off work so we all got a bit of a lie in. We spent most of the day watching Friday Night Dinner. As an early birthday treat for Josh, we ordered Dominoes in the afternoon. Josh had a stuffed crust margarita pizza, Kieran had a meat feast pizza and I had a Hawaiian with added mushrooms. We shared dough balls, garlic bread, chicken strips, potato wedges and cookies. Safe to say we were all rather stuffed afterwards. We also got a bottle of coke in our meal deal but we just put that in the fridge. Later, Lesley and John picked us up and took us to The Stand Comedy Club in Newcastle to see Maisie Adam perform her Buzzed tour live. Josh “wimped out” of sitting in the front row so chose the second row instead. His thinking was that we were less likely to be targeted by not sitting right at the front. However, we certainly were. Many hilarious comments were made, including Kieran being yet again accused of being something rather unpleasant. Of course, Maisie made it quite clear she was joking.
Friday brought an end to Josh’s little holiday with us. It had been a lot of fun having him to stay and nice for us all to get so much time together. Parts of it almost felt like old times at college, especially when Josh was sprawled out on the floor. We had several seating options but he was much happier, through choice I must stress, laying down there. By the time we were up, the second half of my family were already well on there way, already in Rotherham. Lesley took me to my doctors appointment and we popped into Morrisons on our way back. Just as we were pulling up outside the flat, another car drew up. Mum, Harley and simon had arrived. I can’t tell you how good it was to see Mum again. After her big operation, cancer diagnosis and then thankfully all clear earlier this year, it was especially hard to leave Southampton when I did, only 6 weeks after her surgery. But Mum is the strongest person I know and soldiered on. While they unloaded the car of stuff they’d bought for us, Josh told me he’d successfully booked tickets for the three of us to see Russell Howard’s new tour next June at the BIC (Bournemouth International Centre). We’d looked at the tour dates the previous night and agreed that if the ticket prices weren’t extortionate, we’d definitely go again. I voted to go down south for it, especially when we saw the date for the show was a few days after my birthday. Once Mum and Simon were ready, the four of us headed out for the Metrocentre. I said a big goodbye to Josh, who was pretty sad because he wasn’t sure when we’d see each other next. Little did he know I was going to his birthday meal the following Monday.
Again, the Metrocentre was great fun. We browsed quite a few shops, finding a football memorabilia shop called The Back Page which was pretty cool. We also had KFC again, which was very nice; we were a little more sensible with how much we ordered this time. As Mum gets tired quickly these days – a lasting effect of her operation – we didn’t stay nearly as long as last time. That evening, Mum, Harley, Simon, Kieran and I went to the Wetherspoons in Blyth where, a little later, Lesley joined us and showed us the way to the nearby restaurant La Casa where John and Kieran’s auntie Gill were waiting. Everyone enjoyed their food, I think, and we had a nice evening out.
On Saturday, John came and picked Kieran up so they could go to watch the Newcastle vs Brentford match, which made them very happy when it ended 5-1. Not long later, Mum and Simon arrived and we headed to Cramlington to do some more shopping and have some lunch. We went to B&m, Dunelm, Pets At Home and another Wetherspoons. Once we were finished, Mum and Simon dropped Harley and I back at the flat and went back to their hotel so that we could all get ready for the Shine Night Walk, a 10k walk raising money for Cancer Research UK. The walk itself was excellent. Before we started, Mum kitted us out with glow sticks in the form of bracelets, headband ears, glasses, necklaces and loops around our ankles; Harley attached one to the elastic on my cane. When you sign up, you’re given a glow in the dark t-shirt and a piece of paper to write who you’re walking for on and pin onto the t-shirt. Of course, the main person I was walking for was Mum. But I also walked for Imi’s lovely dad, Mike, who died from a rare kind of cancer earlier this year. Also, I walked for Mrs Matthews, a lovely lady who supported me in class at secondary school, who sadly passed away in 2019. Mrs Matthews was one of those incredible people who always seemed to brighten up your day. Although I only really knew her as a member of staff, I know outside school she was a lovely person too. She always used to sing or hum along to her favourite songs during art class, which was the main lesson she supported me in. She always wore lovely perfumes, too, and there was one I liked best so she always made sure she wore it on days she worked with me. She just had such an amazing spirit and it was cruel how cancer took her too, when she was only 56, leaving behind a son and two granddaughters she adored. I recently got in touch with her mum via Facebook and it was lovely to talk to her about Mrs Matthews and be able to pass on my condolences properly, even if it is nearly 3 years later. I think of her a lot, especially on sunny days when I know she’d be cheery or on down days when I know she’d know the right thing to say. I think of her whenever I see anything with butterflies on it because they were her favourite. I did this walk in the hope that one day good people like Mum won’t have to suffer and people like Mike and Mrs Matthews won’t be so cruelly taken from their families. I walked with sometimes Mum and sometimes Harley guiding me. The only time we stopped was quite near the end when I needed the toilet and Simon nipped into a shop to grab a drink. Harley took photos of all the landmarks we passed as well as each kilometre milestone marker. There were lots of lovely wardens encouraging and praising you along the way. Walking back over the bridge and across the finish line was a pretty great feeling. It was an achievement for us all but especially for Mum. We completed the walk in two and a half hours.
I’d expected to feel really tired and ache all over so when I woke up feeling pretty much fine on Sunday morning I was quite surprised. Mum and Simon arrived around 11 and around midday we headed for lunch at Sambuca’s. Like Dad had, Mum and Simon enjoyed our visit there in March very much and had been adamant that we go again. This time, I decided to try something different again. After Simon recommended it as being lovely from last time, I went for the belly pork roast dinner with potato skins to start. Kieran, Mum and Simon all had roast dinners as well and Harley went for pizza with Bolognese on. Simon had soup to start and Mum and Kieran went for potato skins. I enjoyed my starter but disappointingly wasn’t that keen on the roast. However, dessert made up for it. The toffee cheesecake was amazing! Although, my teeth did feel like they would rot afterwards. After we arrived back at the flat, Lesley popped in to say goodbye to everyone and we left around 3. As it was Rebecca’s birthday, Kieran celebrated with a Chinese takeaway with her that evening.
On our way down, I listened to music on my I’pod and then the Arsenal vs Liverpool match which ended 3-2. We stopped at Watford Gap services at about 6:40 and arrived at Mum’s at 9:30. It always feels odd going back to Southampton. There’s so many parts that still feel like home but really it’s not home at all any more. Either way, it was great to be back and staffy Suggs seemed quite excited to see me.
I got up early on Monday morning and lovely My Guide volunteer Jenny arrived so we could go out for a catch up walk. Since we’ve stopped working together and I moved away, Jenny and I have kept in touch by sending regular emails about what’s happening in our lives. We tried to walk our old route from Mum’s along the shore and into Woolston to Piggies café where we used to stop for a drink and sometimes a snack for me. But there were road works going on along the shore and part of the path was closed so Jenny took us a different way. We still made it to Piggies where I had my old favourite of a salted caramel milkshake and Jenny her signature small Americano with hot milk on the side; I added a bowl of chips which we shared while we chatted. We got the bus home because I was feeling a bit lazy. It was really lovely to see Jenny and I hope we can meet up again during future visits. That evening, Harley and I caught the bus into town where we met up with Nan and Grandad before catching another bus into Portswood. It was great to see Nan and Grandad again. In Portswood, we met up with Dad, Josh and Michelle and went for a meal at Trago Lounge to celebrate Josh’s birthday. Michelle had bought a chocolate cake which we all enjoyed.
While Harley was at college on Tuesday afternoon, Mum and I went into Woolston to get some essentials from Lidl and then decided to get some chips to share for our lunch. We got them from my old favourite fish and chips shop, Tasty Place, and discovered it has new owners as the old ones sold up after 25 years running it. Thankfully, the food was just as nice. We sat in the sunshine at the feathers, a sort of memorial garden opposite the main shopping street of Woolston. There’s bricks that people have had names engraved into making up the floor. Grandad’s family had a Lillywhite one laid and we always stop to find it any time we go there. Back at home, we watched Love Actually together. We decided to have a movie afternoon and Mum chose Love Actually because I won’t be there to watch it with her for our usual Christmas Eve tradition. I will never get bored of Love Actually. I just love the storylines and all the characters. That evening, Mum cooked the lasagne, sliced potatoes with bacon and garlic bread we’d bought from Lidl earlier. This used to be one of my favourite meals living down there. It didn’t disappoint. Harley and I watched Friday Night Dinner while we ate.
The next day, Uncle Dave picked me up and took me back to his house to spend the day with Auntie Clare and new puppy Teddy. Teddy is about 15 weeks old and a cross between a shih tzu and a poodle. He is a crazy, cute, energetic bundle of fur and I enjoyed having lots of cuddles throughout the day. It was lovely spending time with Auntie Clare too. Her arthritis has gotten really bad now, to the point where she only walks when she has to because it hurts so bad. The consultants have said she’ll be having a double hip replacement in the next few months. She’s relieved more than anything. Harley arrived a little after 3 and stayed for a little while. Auntie Clare drove us to Nan’s for tea and Grandad showed me their new front door with its old-fashioned knocker, decking with rails and steps, patio and garage doors. Nan cooked my favourites for dinner: mince stew and dumplings with apple crumble for pudding. It was a staple of my childhood when we went for dinner at Nan’s. Later on, I listened to Rangers vs Liverpool which was a great match where Liverpool won 7-1. Meanwhile, Mum sat on the other sofa playing games on her phone, including Talking Tom and a Disney quiz game; both had funny sound effects.
During the morning on Thursday Harley did their volunteering for Communicare. They are a volunteer for the Hello Southampton project where they phone clients for 10-minute chats to make sure they’re getting on ok. They have to write notes about their conversations and report any concerns. They seem to enjoy it a lot. Once they were finished, the three of us headed into town for lunch and some shopping. I treated them to Pizza Hut where Harley had the buffet, some chicken bites and a salad bowl, Mum had the chicken delight flatbread and a salad bowl and I had a Hawaiian stuffed crust pizza with added mushrooms and a salad bowl; we all had unlimited refill drinks. As always, the food was lovely. I ate so much that for the first time in ages I decided not to have a cookie dough pudding. That’s pretty much unheard of for me. Once we all felt ready, we headed for the shops so I could start early Christmas shopping. I figured if I did most of the shopping for the people in Southampton while I was visiting, I wouldn’t have to post it down to them. Once we were home, it took quite a while to sort the shopping out. I like to give each person a separate bag so I can check what I’ve got for them easier. Later, Mum and I watched some of the National Television Awards.
Unfortunately, Friday didn’t turn out to be quite the day we’d imagined. In the morning, Harley went out with their friend and Mum to a hospital appointment. We thought it was for tests relating to her iron deficiency. Meanwhile, I stayed at home and did some hoovering and cleaning for Mum to try and help her out a bit. Harley came home first and we both started to wonder if everything was going ok with Mum’s appointment. It was scheduled for 11 and she’d been gone for quite a while now. We put it down to delays with appointments at the hospital, which seems to be happening a lot nowadays with the extreme pressure the NHS are under. However, when Mum arrived back and Simon was with her, I started to get a bad feeling. They came into the front room and Mum just told us. Her cancer is back. She had a biopsy done a couple of weeks ago because something had shown up on her scan. She hadn’t told us because they were hoping it wasn’t anything serious. But she has a tumour in her groin. We think they’ve caught it early. But she will still need to have an operation and chemotherapy. That was the one she was hoping to avoid. Somehow, she’d coped so well with having the operation but had always dreaded the possibility of needing chemo. We don’t know in what order things are going to happen. Mum said they are moving things as fast as they can. The next step is a PET scan to check that is the only recurrence of cancer or only point of concern. Then they’ll decide on a treatment plan. I felt like the world was collapsing. When someone you love so much gets cancer, the fear is always of the worst outcome. But after Mum had the operation and eventually got the all clear, we hoped that was it. It had already been scary enough. But the idea that it might come back is a nagging thought at the back of your mind. For some reason, I’d felt something wasn’t right. I’d been texting Imi about it on Wednesday night and of course we put it down to the usual paranoia about cancer returning. Now it wasn’t just paranoia any more, it was actually happening. The worst part for me, except from my mind imagining the most horrible scenarios, was knowing I wasn’t going to be able to be there for Mum during whatever treatment she has. Last time, I was there before, whilst and after the operation. I think I helped in some way at least. But whatever physical help I did offer last time is completely out of the question now. It was a weird feeling, after all the tears had stopped, because I knew the following Monday I’d return to Blyth, Kieran and our life there, leaving all of this behind but knowing what’s to come for Mum. I want to be there to support Mum with Harley, so that Harley feels they’ve got someone there for them too. Having a parent who has cancer is so difficult to get your head around. It really does make your whole world unstable. I didn’t want to go home and for everything to go back to normal when everything has changed again for Mum. But I knew that’s what would happen.
I spent the rest of the afternoon led on my bed with my mind spinning while Harley was doing the same next-door and Mum was phoning the important people to tell them what was happening. It was like an out-of-body experience listening to her calmly telling people the news, listening to her talk so positively about how “it is what it is” and we just have “to take it day by day”. I felt like we should be saying those things to her, reassuring her, not the other way around. She wasn’t crying and falling apart. It makes you feel selfish and guilty for feeling that way yourself. After a few hours, we went back to trying to have a normal evening. Mum and Simon drove to our old favourite kebab van and bought us all mixed kebabs and chips to share. It’s one of the only things southern takeaways do better than up north … serving fries rather than chunky chips with kebabs. The food was lovely and we watched the rest of the NTAs and an old episode of Gogglebox.
By Saturday morning, everything had pretty much gone back to normal again, except it felt like there was a shadow hanging over everything. Dad picked Harley and I up at 10:45 and we went with him, Michelle and Josh into town for yet more Christmas shopping. Josh and I met up with two of our old teaching assistants who supported us in class in secondary school. It was very nice to catch up with them over a Costa. After all of the shopping was done, we went back to Dad and Michelle’s new flat because I hadn’t seen it yet. A little later, Dad drove us all to a fish and chips shop where I bought dinner for us all plus Nan, Grandad and Auntie Clare. We joined them, and Uncle Dave who was heading out for a snooker match with a friend, at Auntie Clare’s and enjoyed a very nice evening eating, chatting and fussing over fluffy Teddy. As always, it was weird saying goodbye to Nan, Grandad, Auntie Clare and Josh at the end of the night. I’ll see them all again just after Christmas, which is much sooner than the gap between my birthday and seeing them this time. But I don’t like saying goodbye at the best of times and things still felt a bit raw after Mum’s news the day before. Back at Mum’s, Harley and I listened to music while unpacking the shopping until Mum and Simon arrived home from their evening out seeing a local band perform.
On Sunday, Mum cooked us all, plus Simon’s daughter who was round for the day, a lovely roast chicken with roast potatoes, mash potato, cauliflower cheese, cabbage, carrots, peas and Yorkshire puddings. We had a lovely millionaire’s cheesecake for pudding. During the meal, I listened to Liverpool vs Manchester City (1-0). Later, Mum and I watched Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and Emma Willis: Delivering Babies.
Monday meant my last day down south again for a little while. In the morning, Harley went to college while Mum and I popped to town. Once we’d dropped our shopping off, we walked to meet Harley at the Mayfield Nurseries Sunflower Café. They’d gone there with their friend on Friday and wanted Mum and I to see what it’s like. It is very nice. Quite a chilled out atmosphere with tables inside the café and some outside under a shelter. There’s flowers, plants and fresh fruit & veg you can buy and lots of homemade food and drinks at the café. It all raises funds for a local mental health charity and all the staff at the café are volunteers. It was a lovely way to spend our afternoon, especially as the weather was nice. When we got back to Mum’s, Harley went upstairs and did some college work while Mum and I watched Master Chef Australia, The Voice, First Dates Hotel and Pointless. But then it was time for me to check I’d packed everything and bring my bag down to wait for Dad to pick me up for the airport run. Traffic was bad and he was quite late. It was a bit of a rushed goodbye to Mum and Harley, who had decided to stay behind and be with Mum. I gave them big hugs. But then I was in the car and we were rushing away so that we could get McDonald’s before I needed to be at the airport. We only just squeezed it in. We had to eat in the car and Dad started driving to the airport before I’d finished. It’s not the kind of ending I like to have. Saying goodbye to Dad at the airport was sad too. I FaceTime Mum and Harley most days up here but only speak to Dad on the phone every now and then. We message every day but it’s not quite the same. I’ve had a great couple of weeks seeing everyone. It was great to have them all come up and visit. It was strange doing the reverse journey down to Southampton in a car. The only time I’ve driven that trip was on moving day up here. I loved being able to spend so much time with everyone, with the added bonus of the spur of the moment meet-up with Imi and catch up with Jenny. Of course, Mum’s cancer recurrence does put a big cloud over the whole thing and the worry is constantly with me. She had her PET scan yesterday so now we have to wait for the results. I’m hoping with everything I have that the tumour they’ve found is the only evidence of cancer. I don’t want her to have to go through this at all but as it’s already happening please can it be as low-risk as possible. I need her. As I knew I would, I’ve fallen back into my life up here and our routines straight away. It is great to be home, back living independently with Kieran. We have a really lovely home here and I don’t ever take it for granted. Right now, though, I only wish it wasn’t so far away from Southampton, from Mum and Harley and all the appointments, treatment, tears and difficulty that’s to come. As many have said, though, I’m thankful to have all the modern technology that means I’m only a message or call away from knowing how they are. In a weird kind of way, I am glad I was there the day Mum got her news. I think, on a selfish level for me at least, it would have been a lot harder hearing it over the phone. I will be there whenever and however much I can for them all and will give them as much support as I’m able from 300 miles away. It was one of the best fortnight’s I’ve had in a long time, just containing one of the worst days I’ve had. The comedy gig with the boys, visiting Imi with Josh, all the meals out with everyone, watching Love Actually with Mum, a chilled evening with Harley and meeting up with Jenny are all highlights. I’m going to hold onto those.
Mum, Dad, Michelle, Simon, Harley and Josh, thank you for coming to visit us. It was great to see you again and I love my southern life connecting with my northern one.
Kieran, thanks for having all our crazy family descending on the place. I think we managed to be quite good hosts. Well, they’ve all said they’d come back, at least.
Lesley and John, for the ferrying to and from places, for Lesley’s super cleaning skills, and for just being great. You reassure my parents that I’m well looked after (their words) so I guess that’s the biggest thank you of all.
Mum, you’re the strongest person I know. I wish this wasn’t happening to you, again. For some reason, bad things always seem to happen to good people, and you’re the best. Just like last time, you’ll get through this. We are all here for you. I wish more than anything that I could be down there for you but I’m always at the other end of the phone and will be down in a heartbeat if anything happens. Which it won’t because, as Lesley so perfectly said, you can kick it’s ass again.
PS: thanks to Josh for the awesome notes on the first week of the reunion. I was enjoying myself too much to write things down. We had many other blog titles thought up for this one – although I forgot all of them of course – but the one I chose is a muddle of two. “Harley up” comes from when they were in the loo and I really needed to go. As not everyone knows about their chosen name, we’d been having to alternate between Harley and Tamsin all weekend. In my attempt to say “hurry up” it came out as “Harley up”. The irony being that nobody noticed when we were calling them Harley anyway. The second part comes from the Maisie Adam gig and a joke about doing online comedy gigs during lockdown.
A5Ramblings 