In mid July, Kieran and I went down to Southampton for a special event, my teeny tiny sister turned 18. Although I can’t visit Southampton for everyone’s birthdays, this was a special one so we just had to be there. On the 17th, Lesley picked us up at 4pm and took us to the airport. The assistance was good and it was lovely to see cabin crew member June, who’s 70th birthday we’d celebrated on our flight down in March. We landed on time and Dad and Sam were there to meet us. We all went to McDonalds. Dad had already had dinner so just had some chips and a latte; Kieran had a big mac with chips and a biscoff McFlurry; Sam had a cheese burger and chips with a galaxy McFlurry; I tried the new veggie dippers and mozzarella balls with a portion of chips and a biscoff McFlurry. I’m not sure what I expected from the veggie dippers but even now I haven’t made up my mind whether I like them or not. The mozzarella balls were lovely. Kieran and I always try anything biscoff-related given the chance but were a bit disappointed with McDonalds offering. Although it had biscoff crumbs sprinkled over the top, that was the only biscoff part about it. It had some sort of caramel sauce on but just a generic one. I’d expected them to use biscoff spread and make the ice cream lovely and thick. Sadly not. Apart from that, the meal was lovely. I definitely enjoy it much more now I only have it on rare occasions. After we’d finished, Dad drove us to Mum’s where it was big hugs all round for her and Harley.
After I’d had breakfast on Tuesday morning – a slice of toast with Lidl’s version of biscoff spread, which is amazing! – Mum and I popped to Lidl for some essentials. Later, Kieran ordered Dominoes for our tea. Harley had been out with their friends so didn’t want any and Simon had eaten before he’d left for work. Mum had some bbq chicken wings and cheesy wedges. Kieran and I had a half and half pizza each and shared some wedges. I also had a chicken and bacon wrap because they’re only available down south for some reason. There were some cookies for everyone to share. The food was really nice and somehow I managed to eat all of it. I couldn’t regret it though because it was so nice, all got eaten and the wrap was well worth the extra calories.
On Wednesday, Mum and I went to town so Mum could buy last-minute bits for Harley’s birthday. She was very disappointed because she’d wanted to get a personalised photo cake from Asda but the machine was broken. She managed to get everything else she wanted, including a huge purple 18th birthday balloon, which we carried home on the bus. That evening, Mum cooked roast pork with roast potatoes, swede & carrot, green beans, broccoli, cauliflower and Yorkshire puddings. Kieran and I were very full afterwards and feeling like we hadn’t had so much veg in a long time, especially after only having a roast dinner at Lesley’s the previous Sunday. We do cook our own roasts but they’re never that great and not cooked properly how our mums do.
Thursday meant Harleys big birthday had arrived. I still can’t believe they’re 18! A genuine legal adult, my little sister! Everyone always says a person’s birthday makes them feel old and usually it’s just one of those funny things you join in with. But this year I really felt it. My baby sister, who I remember Mum and Dad announcing they were pregnant with, is an adult. I think they’ll always be a child in my mind. Harley started their day by opening their presents from Mum, Imi, Kieran and I. We had a 2005s song playlist on the tv in the background. Unfortunately, Kieran’s almost endless knowledge of music meant he kept telling us that all the songs were from other years. Around half 12, Auntie Clare and Uncle Dave arrived and took us to the Harvester in Whiteley where we were joined by Nan, Dad, Michelle and Sam to celebrate Harley’s day with a meal. They’d arrived before us and decorated the table with banners and balloons. The food was fantastic and everyone enjoyed. I had a sweet chili haloumi burger with chips and a salad bowl. Harley decided to have two starters instead of a main course so that they could have plenty from the salad bar. They chose chicken goujons and potato skins. Nan loved her scampi and chips but wasn’t happy that her mushy peas weren’t proper mushy peas. Dad had gammon and Michelle a chicken salad. Kieran was sat on the other table with Sam, Auntie Clare and Uncle Dave. The four of them shared cheesy garlic bread, nachos and chicken goujons for starters. Kieran had a bbq chicken stack and Sam a chicken burger. Afterwards, we all sang happy birthday when Harley was presented with the pride themed chocolate 18th birthday cake Dad had had made for them. Although I’m not a big fan of chocolate cake, this one was very nice and huge… after everyone at the table had eaten a slice there was still half a cake left. Once everyone had finished, we went back to Nan’s for the rest of the afternoon so that we could spend more time with everyone and see Grandad. Sadly, he wasn’t quite as I’ve seen him since he had his stroke last December. So far when I’ve visited, I’ve been quite fortunate that Grandad had been having one of his better days. Sadly, those better days seem to be a thing of the past nowadays as his condition seems to have worsened. That day, he really struggled to speak and got really upset when he couldn’t wish Harley a happy birthday. We got some nice photos of the two of them together though. It was just so very sad to see him that way.
That evening, Mum took Harley, Kieran and I to a new dessert place in town. It’s called Heavenly Desserts and definitely lived up to it’s title. Mum and Harley decided to share a platter of five mini desserts, Kieran had a strawberries & cream cheesecake with a cookie milkshake and I quite predictably chose a banana and toffee milkshake plus a white and biscoff cookie dough. Originally, I’d been worried that I wouldn’t be able to finish both and had been considering having a lighter pudding. But I’m very glad I didn’t as both were delicious. Everyone else thoroughly enjoyed theirs, too, which was especially good for Harley as it was their birthday treat and they’d been wanting to go there for ages.
I spent most of the day reading Lucy Spraggan’s new autobiography on Friday. In the evening, once Mum and Simon had gone out, the three of us ordered a takeaway and settled in to introduce Harley to Hebburn. Harley and I both had chicken burgers with cheese and cheesy chips, Kieran had a kebab wrap with chips and we shared a cheesy garlic bread. It was all very nice. Harley really liked Hebburn and we spent the rest of the night watching it.
Saturday was spent setting up Simon’s new phone for him. Later, we all went into town and to Cosmo for an extra celebration of Harley’s birthday from Kieran and I. Cosmo is great because it’s a buffet of all different countries foods. You can try pretty much anything and it’s all included in the £20 per person price. By the end of our hour and a half time slot, we were all very full and had tried loads of different things. That evening, we watched Elton John’s set from Glastonbury, which was amazing.
The next day, Dad and Michelle picked the three of us up around half past two and we went to collect KFC to take to Nan and Grandad’s, where Sam was also waiting, for everyone to share. Sadly, the afternoon didn’t go as planned. Grandad was very poorly. He was sick and not well at all. Nan called 111 and by the time we left a few hours later he was no better and they were waiting for someone to come out and look at him. Seeing him this way these last couple of times has really brought home to me that Grandad really isn’t going to be around forever and, if I’m being truthful, isn’t going to get better. For a while, everyone hoped physio and other medical help might mean his condition would improve a bit. But that’s not going to happen. His dementia is definitely getting worse and physio hasn’t improved the use of his bad arm. It’s horrible for us all to admit this and to see him that way. But most of all it’s hard for Nan. She’s caring for him 24/7 and struggles. But none of us, least of all her, want him to go into a nursing home. The most I can hope is that he’s comfortable and happy in his lucid moments. I gave Nan a big hug when it was time to say goodbye and made sure we waited until Grandad’s carers had left so I could go and say goodbye to him. It’s hard but more and more these days I wonder if I’ll see him again. Luckily, I’m visiting again in a few weeks and although not doing very well, he’s still here at the moment. Despite everything, it was good to be able to spend time with everyone for the afternoon.
Monday meant it was time to head home again. In the morning, Mum and I popped to Lidl and came back to watch some of the women’s world cup football, Dinner Date and Come Dine With Me. That afternoon, Mum made us nachos with meatballs and cheesy garlic bread. It makes a pretty good pre-flight meal and we really enjoyed it. Dad arrived around 6 to take us to the airport. Big hugs again for Mum and Harley then Dad himself when we said goodbye at the airport. I’m so glad I was able to visit for Harley’s 18th. Although I feel a bit sad every time I miss someone’s birthday down there, not being there to celebrate Harley’s big one with them would have been hard. Since then, they’ve further celebrated by going to a Banksy exhibition in Bristol and London zoo. I think they enjoyed every part of their birthday and I’m pleased they did some really memorable things to mark it. As always, it was great to see everyone again, although slightly less so with Grandad being so different. I knew it would come but seeing it for real is tough. I think it’s rubbish how people work so hard for the majority of their lives and end up stuck in a bed in one room needing to be fed and washed because they can’t do it for themselves any more. Nan and Grandad are lucky to have had 57 good years of marriage before he had his stroke but in some ways I think that makes it harder for her. To witness the man she’s known and loved for the majority of her life turned into what he is now must be painful. But he’s still Grandad. Although it’s becoming less and less these days, every now and then he’ll manage a couple of words that sound just like the man he was. Harley says you can see in his face that he’s still there, still taking things in, just not able to get the replies he’s got in his head to come out of his mouth any more. Until he’s not with us, I’ll carry on trying to think of him and treat him like the Grandad I had for 25 years of my life. I’m so blessed to have had both him and Nan. You couldn’t get better grandparents anywhere and I’m so lucky to have so many amazing memories of them over the years; I hold onto them very fondly now. When I visit again, I hope to spend more time with them, even if it’s not so nice any more. Nan needs our support and company more than ever and I want Grandad to still know we’re there to visit him. I treasure every visit I get, good or bad. Now I’m working, I have to be more careful in the trips I book down south. Unfortunately, I wasn’t given back the leave I took during the period of six months special health leave I was put on. Originally, I’d been told that I’d get those trips back as I was already on leave so they wouldn’t count. But because I wasn’t actually nearby and able to go in the following day if they’d asked, I can’t count it as special health leave. I can’t regret taking so much because I had great times visiting everyone in Southampton. But if I’d known I wouldn’t get any of it back I probably wouldn’t have booked such long trips, like the one around my birthday, as it’s taken quite a few days off next year’s annual leave allowance. With all the plans I’ve already made to visit this month, at Christmas and in February, I only have a few days annual leave left for next year plus minus hours I need to build back up when I’m allowed to work flexi hours. But it’s done now and I’m glad I visited as much as I have while I could and that I already have more trips arranged. I’m very much looking forward to them all.
A5Ramblings 