Tag Archives: ambitions

Mobility Update: My Guide Session 9

As promised, Jenny arrived at mine yesterday morning at our agreed time of 9:30 so that we could have our 9th My Guide session. although we usually stick to our once weekly session on a Thursday morning, this week that wouldn’t have been possible as I’m flying up to Newcastle to stay with Kieran and family for a fortnight from tonight onwards. kindly, Jenny offered to rearrange what would have otherwise been a missed session into happening two days earlier. that way, I only miss one session while I’m away.

I’m really grateful that Jenny did offer this as we had a great session – at least, we did after I got myself together! I almost left the house without my Trekker Breeze and once I’d quickly grabbed that, I almost walked away down the path without locking up the house… Safe to say those weren’t the brightest five minutes of my day! But once everything was done, we were on our way and things were going well. I remembered a lot of the first part of the route, getting from my house down onto the shore, a lot better than I have in previous weeks. I remembered where to turn, where to cross and mostly which direction I should be walking in. Once walking along the shore path, it becomes simple for quite a stretch: walk straight forward. Literally, that is all you have to do for quite a while. Next time I walk it, I’m going to time the part that is just a straight path. It makes up about 70% of the walk though. After the really long straight stretch, we then had Jenny’s least favourite part of the route: the little bit where on my left hand side there is about a two foot drop… Jenny worries that my cane might not find the edge before my feet do and to be fair it’s not totally impossible, especially with the angles I usually walk towards it. I’m not too fazed; I haven’t fallen off it and broken both my ankles yet. Although if I did slip off the edge, I’m sure that would be the painful result. After we’ve passed that little worrying patch, we’re onto crossing roads and actually getting into the shopping highstreet of Woolston. It doesn’t take a lot but there are a couple of busy crossings where I have to concentrate and be patient a lot. After that, it’s just the straight path of the highstreet and walking until I find the obstacle of Coffee Mac’s outdoor seating. It’s a good landmark, actually, to tell me I’ve reached our destination. On the way to that, though, today I walked into some scaffolding. There’s work being done to one of the shops near Coffee Mac’s so its unavoidable. Jenny had to guide me around it as one of the poles was diagonal and there was no way for my cane to find it before my face. A hazard of being a blind person I suppose. In Coffee Mac’s, because it was just so cold and because I felt things were going really well, I decided to branch out on my usual apple juice and accessorise it with a slice of banana loaf, my favourite type of cake. Plus, its got bananas in it, hasn’t it? Surely that makes it a little healthier! Right there I felt so cold that I didn’t care. I wanted cake so I was having cake. It was a good decision. The banana loaf was super tasty. They put nuts, I think walnut, in their recipe which adds a little extra flavour and texture to the cake. Usually, banana loaf is quite moist and a bit sloppy. The nuts added a bit of crunch and solidity to it. They were definitely a good addition to the banana loaf I’m used to. The slice was pretty generous, too, but I couldn’t help scoffing the lot. It was just so nice! I’m just a sucker for anything sweet.

The return journey went well. Jenny didn’t have to steer me around the scaffolding on the way back because my cane hit an upright pole so I was able to swerve out towards the curb to avoid it. The rest of the walk went well. I felt I mostly remembered turnings/crossings/the general direction well. There’s definitely improvement each week even if it is only gradual. Any is good. Route learning isn’t simple for me. I wish my brain could just remember a route after a couple of tries like some people I know. But it just doesn’t have the capability. A few years ago, I’d have said it was me being stubborn. I hated using my cane. Still do. But now I want to learn routes. I want to be able to get out and about to differing destinations so that I have a valid workload for a dog. Plus, its always better the more places you know to get to independently.

As we walked back towards Jenny’s least favourite part of the route, the ankle breaking drop, she had an idea to alter the route a little to make it safer. Instead of walking towards the drop. I go in a different direction and cross a road. This means I completely avoid the drop part altogether. One more crossing on a route where there are few doesn’t make much difference. The last section of the route went fine; the long straight stretch along the shore and then the few road crossings to my house. Most of the crossings and turnings at this point I remembered well too. When we reached my front gate, Jenny and I agreed to meet in two weeks from this Thursday once I’m home from Newcastle. I’m hopeful that although its in two weeks time, I’ll still remember most of the route quite well. We’ve been learning it a few weeks now so it shouldn’t all be lost on me. As of yet, I haven’t heard a whisper from Guide Dogs about the case review meeting. There’s of course the strong possibility that it hasn’t even happened yet. Hopefully, I’ll have heard something really soon. Things are going so well route learning that I’m hopeful the good news will continue from Guide Dogs too. But who knows? All I know is that I’m off to Newcastle for two weeks and don’t intend to think about routes for a second while I’m away.


Mobility Update: My Guide Session 8

Since writing only 2 days ago, I’ve had some exciting news! As I said last time, Jenny contacted the leader of Southampton’s My Guide service to inquire whether the route we’re currently doing and the ones I plan to learn in the future would make me eligible for a guide dog. Ever since I very first applied for a guide dog all those years ago in 2011, their response has been that I don’t have enough routes and don’t go out enough independently to make up a workload for a dog. When I was a naive 14 year old, I thought this was ridiculous! I went to school every day, didn’t I? I could walk to the bus-stop and corner shop, too, if I wanted. And I’d even learnt how to get to my Nan and Grandad’s, then living in Woolston themselves, via a bus journey and some walking. Why on earth would they say I didn’t have enough routes or a big enough workload? I’d spent my whole six-week school summer holiday working with a mobility officer from Southampton’s sensory services, aided by a member of the Guide Dogs team. How could they say these things? In comparison, now I can see I was the ridiculous one. Yes, I did try really hard that summer and honestly, at the time, that was massive progress for me, a kid who didn’t leave the house unless I was attached to a parent. But it wasn’t nearly enough. I’m still yet to learn what is, but I’m much better prepared now, much closer to that target than I’ve ever been before. Anyway, the exciting news… so the leader of My Guide replied to Jenny’s request properly yesterday, to both of us. When a text message came through from her, I thought maybe it was just a little checkup on how Jenny and I are getting on. But she doesn’t need to check up. Jenny has given her full details on how we’re doing, my progress and my ambitions. She passed Jenny’s message onto several members of staff at Southampton’s Guide Dogs team, including the GDMI who assessed and crushed my world in October. They’ve agreed to take my case to the case review sometime next week to see if they can take my application for a guide dog forward. I couldn’t have hoped for anything anywhere near this good so soon into my work with the My Guide service. I predicted that perhaps I’d ask the leader of My Guide for some kind of review around my birthday or something. Not get one 8 weeks after I started working with Jenny. The case review meeting will take place sometime next week according to the leader of My Guide’s text. That’s really exciting! There could be plenty of outcomes of the review, but the main two options I think are either they’ll say I’m doing well but not yet far enough for them to be able to reconsider my application for a dog, or, they’ll say yes, I’ve done really well and they can reconsider my application now. If they reconsider my application and plan to move it forward, I’m guessing that means that they’ll consider putting me on the waiting list for a dog. But I could be wrong. Both my guide dog know-alls, Imi and Tiny, have both seemed quite positive about the text messages and the possible outcomes I could get. Imi, in fact, said she hopes I’m being positive now. I am. As soon as the My Guide leader text, i was imagining having a Guide Dog, being put on the list, having the yes answer… but perhaps I’ve got it all wrong. I guess I’ll find out next week.

As for today, Jenny had our 8th My Guide session, doing the new route for the third time, the second time me trying to learn it. I felt, considering everything, that it went really well. I feel like I’m picking it up really well to say its only the second proper time I’ve walked it myself. Jenny and I agreed that she’d have as little input as possible, just let me get on with it and only telling me if I’d gone the wrong way. Mostly I did well. Jenny only had to correct me a couple of times. It took about an hour to get there. As always, we stopped off in Coffee Mac’s for our little break, me having my apple juice and Jenny her coffee. She’s started asking me to see if I can locate a table once we’re in the shop and its quite easy to find the one we always sit at. As long as every time I go in there its free ‘ll be ok… we popped into see Dad quickly afterward. That entails me crossing the road and walking along to Dad’s shop. He was ok and we didn’t stay long.

The return journey went just as well, with Jenny correcting me whenever necessary. It felt longer walking on the way home but according to Jenny’s watch it was actually shorter. I know I felt more tired when I reached my front door than I did on arriving at Coffee Mac’s. it shows just how lucky I am to have been matched with such a good volunteer that Jenny offered to meet me next Tuesday to do our ninth session. I’m flying up to Kieran’s next Wednesday so will be away for our usual Thursday session. I really didn’t expect Jenny to say she could meet me on an alternative day but feel really grateful that she is. Hopefully, we can continue the good run we’re on with learning this route. Also, hopefully next week I’ll have news from Guide Dogs. But whatever the outcome, I’m just going to carry on. Of course, if they do say i haven’t done enough yet and need to carry on learning, I’ll be a bit disappointed that it isn’t a straight away yes answer. But my plan was to learn routes until at least May so if they ask me to carry on I haven’t lost anything. If its a yes answer, I’m so much more lucky than I thought I was. Maybe by the next time I write my next My Guide update, I’ll have the outcome.

Mobility Update: My Guide Session 6

Yesterday’s My Guide session was different to say the least. At first, Jenny and I were a bit dubious about how it would go as the ground was quite frosty and Jenny was worried it’d be too slippery underfoot. Thankfully, it wasn’t and we were able to continue with the session as normal. Except, it wasn’t a normal session. We changed the whole arrangement of things from what we have been doing to something SO MUCH BETTER!

If you’re up-to-date with my My Guide session post – which, if you aren’t, I don’t blame you, I just waffle on and this is more for my entertainment and satisfaction than anything else! – then you’ll know that since Jenny and I started working together we’ve been working on a route from my home into Woolston, the nearest little shopping street. Well the route Jenny picked out, we tested and I agreed on was quite complicated to say the least. Ive never been good at learning routes; I don’t know why, its just not one of my strong points. So this new complex route was definitely a challenge. A month into walking it by myself and we both felt I was making progress considering how much there was to learn and remember. But today Jenny suggested something else, something I wish we’d thought of before I stressed over the complicated route. There’s a much more straightforward and easy route into Woolston. Instead of approximately 25 crossings (Jenny counted), this is one straight road that leads into Woolston. It takes about an hour each way, we’re going to time it next week to get a definite time frame, and is so straightforward I’m hopeful I could have it memorised fairly soon. After last week’s horrible session, this was such a relief. Maybe its me taking the easy way out. But it shouldn’t matter. It’s still a lengthy route, although less complicated, and still leads me to the intended destination. Also, it means I get to walk for longer beside the shore, which will be glorious in summer. Jenny also spotted that there’s a stretch of green that could make a great short free run spot parallel to the route I’m walking.

It worried me a little, though. As its so simple, it takes less time to get to Woolston. Jenny suggested that some of this was probably due to the amount of time I spent judging if roads were safe to cross on the other route; its complexities made it naturally longer. I decided that I’d check the results of my Fitbit, which tracks steps, floors climbed, distance walked and active minutes, that night against previous weeks’ totals for our sessions. The results were quite different. Where usually its at least 14000 steps and well over 4 miles, nearly 6 sometimes, those results showed just over 12000 steps and less than 4 miles. I don’t know if its just because the route is less complicated; it must be because technically I’m still going from the same starting point to the same destination. I’m just concerned this could be a problem. Should I be focusing on the more complicated route because it presents a challenge and is definitely longer? Or is the fact that the other route is easier and more of a convenience, sadly making it shorter, more worthwhile to pursue? I talked this over with Jenny while we sat in Coffee Mac’s again, she with her coffee and me my apple juice. She tried to reassure me that, even if it was a bit shorter, the principle of the route was the walking thing and as I had the outward and return route it still took quite a long time so would provide a lengthy working time for any future guide dog. Looking at my Fitbit results, though, it looks as if the easier route cuts out quite a lot of mileage. I just can’t work out if that’s a bad thing or whether it shouldn’t be a problem. If someone who knows about these things could shed some light for me, I’d be greatly appreciated.

It was a lovely route though, especially as the weather was quite nice. On the return journey it did get a bit windy but mostly it was nice. Before we headed home, Jenny and i popped across the road to say hello to Dad in his carpet shop. I’d told Jenny all about the progress Dad and I had been making with our Wednesday walks and she seemed pleased. While we’d been sat in the coffee shop, she had written down a list of all my known and potential routes. It’s becoming quite a list. For known routes we currently have:

Short routes:

1. Walk to local bus-stop, barely 3 minutes;

2. 2. Walk to nearby Co-op, about 10 minutes each way.

3. 3. Bus route to Woolston. Although of course this doesn’t involve much walking, only onto the bus from home (shown above) and off the other end to wherever I want to go e.g. coffee shop, Co-op or see Dad, I consider it as a route as before now I wouldn’t be considering things like that.

4. 4. Bus route into town centre/shops: again, dozens involve much walking but opens up lots of opportunities e.g. meeting a friend, going to a coffee shop, getting myself lunch;

5. 5. Route from home to library = about 25 minutes each way, I’ll time it properly when I do it next week;

6. 6. Home to Mayfield Park = about 25-ish minutes each way with a free run in the middle;

7. 7. Route from home to the gym/leisure centre = about 30 minutes each way, I’ll time it properly when I go next;

8. 8. Route from home to news agents = about 35 minutes each way. I’ll time it properly when Dad and I do our next walk;

9. Routes I’m learning:

10. 1. Route from home to sister’s school = about 45-50 minutes each way. Dad and I will time it properly next time we do our walk as last week was the first time.

11. 2. Route from home to Woolston (now changed to newer less complicated route) = 55 minutes to an hour each way. We only did a test run of this yesterday so wil record it to my Trekker Breeze and time it properly after that.

12. 3. Home to Nan’s = no idea how long, Dad estimates at least an hour each way. We’re going to learn this after we’ve learnt the school.

13. 4. Home to Victoria Country Park = no idea how long. Jenny suggested it yesterday and as it was Zena’s favourite free run spot and would create another probably long route I thought why not.

14. 5. Home to archery’s park = I’m not sure. We’ve started to learn it via the long and complicate route we were using but Jenny says there are several different ways to get there. There’s a possibility of eventually learning them all for variation.

15. 6. Home to Dominoes Pizza/Co-op = probably as long as the library route as they’re an extension of it, although I’m considering learning how to get there using part of the complicated route we were using.

16. 7. Home to train station to airport = no idea. It would be mostly transport but I think it’d be a handy one to have under my belt. I’d have to get my usual bus from home into Woolston, then another bus from Woolston to opposite outside southampton central statin. Then get inside the station, find a member of staff and be put on the train to southampton airport parkway station. From there, disembark and get assistance to take me the exit. Then learn from the exit, along the road and across into airport arrivals hall. This idea was planted by John nearly a year ago when I was training with Zena. Although it sounds complicated with all those steps it should actually be quite straightforward.

So there’s quite a lot to be getting on with. I’m sure I’ve probably forgotten some in that list. We discussed loads esterday and I wish I had an in-built notebook to record all thoughts. Jenny was taking notes in a book herself so if I’ve forgotten anything she’ll have it written down. I’m still going with the idea that I’ll inform Guide Dogs once I’ve learnt the route to Woolston and ask to be put on the waiting list for a dog and in the meantime, while I’m waiting, continue to work through that list of routes with Jenny that we’ve compiled. I feel that’s a reasonable request, especially considering how long the waiting list can be and my insistence that Jenny and I will continue working on more routes. By the time I hopefully get matched with a guide dog, I should have so many routes we’ll be too busy! I should at least have a much wider choice than I did with Zena. Really, I already do. And if that isn’t seen as progress and dedication, I don’t know what could be.

So next Thursday Jenny and I have our seventh session. We’re going to be working on the new and improved route into Woolston. As it is so simple, I’m feeling very optimistic about it. I just hope its simplicity won’t reflect badly on me. I still intend to use fractions of that old route, just not the whole thing to get to Woolston. In time, with learning fractions of it for other destinations I might even crack the whole thing into Woolston. It would be a good walking alternative to get there in the winter because our new and improved one would be quite chilly in the winter where its mostly open spaces. I’m really thrilled with these massive leaps we’ve suddenly made today. Its like one of those breakthrough moments and it couldn’t have come at a better time after last week’s disaster. But as Jenny said, its all learning and I will still be using parts of that complicated route so nothing was wasted. Hopefully next week will be even more positive…

Open Uni: K118 results day

Amazingly, I am already 2 months into my Open Uni summer break and that can only mean one thing: results day was looming. Our module result date was set to be the 19th of July and after assessment marks being released, module result day is the most tense part of the whole academic year. Even if all your TMA’s have come back with outstanding grades throughout the module, on results day you’re still sitting there with the horrendous possibility that you may have still failed the module. To pass a Level 1 module, you have to receive 40% or higher in your overall continuous score, which is all your assessment scores combined, and then 40% or higher in your examinable component score, which is either an EMA (examiner marked assignment) or a physical exam. The dread that somehow you may have completely messed up your chances of passing by performing terribly in your EMA hangs over you until results day. Of course, if you do grade lower than 40%, your whole module experience is ruined. The OU are slightly generous in that they give you roughly 6 weeks after results day to resubmit your examinable component, giving you the chance to pass second time around.
My results were released a day earlier than scheduled. For about two weeks prior to the due date, everyone was checking their emails and student home obsessively, certain that results would be out early. As it turned out, we weren’t wrong but they were nowhere near as premature as last year.
Not that it mattered. On Tuesday 18th July around 11am, OU results were finally available. I happened to be out and about when the first posts of ecstasy appeared on Facebook announcing the exciting news. Immediately, I logged onto student home using my IPhone, uncertain of whether the mobile site would actually show my results, and held my breath.
Pass. That was the first word that VoiceOver read to me. Pass. Then, overal examinable score: 75; overall continuous assessment score: 76. To say I passed the pass grade boundary is definitely an understatement with those scores. I was hoping for scores in that region, to be honest. My previous two modules, AA100 the arts past and present and K101 an introduction to health and social care, both received similar scores to what I’ve managed to achieve with K118. This of course means that my two level 1 modules have set me a good standard for Level 2 and 3 of my degree. Although i was hoping for scores in the 70s or higher, there was of course a very valid chance that I wouldn’t do that well. I could have perhaps not done well with the EMA and scored lower than the required 40, or maybe just scraped the pass. Neither of those would have satisfied me. There was no reason why I should do that badly. To grade lower than 40% would be a real disgrace for me.
So I passed. I have a third Level 1 module securely under my belt and a strong foundation to the basis of my degree. I can easily progress to Level 2 without any concern about Level 1. In October, I’m signed up to start studying two Level 2 60 credit modules: K217 and K240. I can’t remember the full titles of them right now, but one is based solely on mental health and the other is a continuation of the ones I’ve already been studying. One has an EMA and one has a proper exam. I’m already nervous about the prospect of an actual exam but a friend of mine, who is also VI, has reassured me by explaining how well the process went for him. He’s doing an OU degree in law and had to sit an exam for his second Level 1 module. I’d of course prefer to have EMAs for all modules, but I’m not sure that’s even possible. I think there is a way to do it, but that way you’d have to stick to a very specific pathway with your degree and I like the idea of choosing whichever modules I fancy regardless of the examinable component.
Another bonus to July 18th this year was that I noticed my student finance application for the academic year of 2017/18 has been approved. I’ve been allowed the full loan amount to cover both modules. To say I’m relieved is an understatement. Obviously, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t be granted my full loan request as I’ve had no disagreements with student finance in the past. It is nice to know that my studies are paid for for another year, though. I can’t imagine trying to fork out that kind of money to fund my own degree. My full loan amount is under £6000, though, which is a lot less than the cost of studying at a regular university. It is nice to know that if ever I’m in a position to repay my loan, I’ll be paying a lot less than I would have had I attended normal university, especially as I don’t have to add accommodation and living costs onto that already hefty cost.
Yet again, I’m ready to start back studying. It is very strange having this much free time on my hands. With no uni and no Zena either, I really have nothing to do with my time. I miss having study and a dog to fill up the long hours during the day while nobody else is home. In October, it will be nice to have something to focus all my attention and energy on again. The idea of being busy with two modules is more of a relief than a fear. Although, when I looked at my assessment calendar on Monday night, I was a bit daunted by how many TMA’s I’ll be completing in such a short space of time. But I feel ready for the challenge. Just like the last 2 years of Open University study, I’m going to give it my best shot and am hoping to end up with as good if not better grades than I’ve already achieved so far. According to my sister, the scores I’ve managed in both K118 and K101 are equal to a first in degree pass grades. There’s no way I could have ever hoped for more than that. I plan to keep it at that high standard. If I can continue getting those kind of scores at Levels 2 and 3, I’ll be coming out of this degree with something I thought was impossible for me to achieve. A first in a degree is a pretty amazing achievement so if i can manage that, I’ll have surpassed all my academic dreams. That’s what I’m aiming for, anyway. Whether I get there is currently a mystery. But for now, I’m pretty chuffed with a high pass in K118.